Joke!

[Clem H Fandango]

1 minute ago, sir roger said:

Who's there ?

Isabel.

[alles ist gut]

1 minute ago, Clem H Fandango said:

Isabel.

Isabel who?

[Captain Howdy]

2 minutes ago, Clem H Fandango said:

Isabel.

Isabel who

[Clem H Fandango]

Just now, alles ist gut said:

Isabel who?

Isabel not working?

[AngryOfTuebrook]

BREAKING NEWS 

 

The inventor of the door knocker has been awarded the No-bell Prize

[AngryOfTuebrook]

I found a wallet in the street, stuffed full of cash.  As a good Christian I thought "what would Jesus do?"

 

So I turned it into wine.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

A crate of eggs was stolen from Asda.

Police suspect poachers.

[halewood pete]

[Clem H Fandango]

I once sold a jumper to Derek Acorah.

 

For those of you who don't know, he was a medium.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

I've got a mate who works at a Native American restaurant.

 

He's a Sioux chef.

[VladimirIlyich]

26 minutes ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

I've got a mate who works at a Native American restaurant.

 

He's a Sioux chef.

Not apache on your last joke.

[Elite]

My wife's leaving me because of my obsession with triangles.

 

She's got a point....

 

Well, three actually! 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

[Alan Sex]

22 hours ago, halewood pete said:

I am. And I do. 

[Clem H Fandango]

At breakfast, I asked my wife “What would you do I if won the lottery?” She replied, “I’d take half, and then leave you.”

 

“Great,” I said “I won £12 yesterday. Here’s 6 quid. Stay in touch.”

[Elite]

A lady approaches a priest and shyly tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots but, they only know how to say one thing... they keep saying ‘Hi, we’re hot... do you want to *fuck us*?’

 

"That's terrible!" says the priest. "But, I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two parrots over to my house tomorrow. I will put them with my two male talking parrots... to whom I've taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will then teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible filth, and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship the good Lord." So the next day, the lady brings her two female parrots to the priest's house. The priest's two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking Parrots, and the female parrots say, "Hi, we're hot. Do you want to fuck us?” One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and screams, "put the bible away you idiot, our prayers have been answered!" 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Wikipedia pages are written in Arial.

 

It's the font of all knowledge.

[Clem H Fandango]

I joined a fisting club recently.

 

It’s not something I’m particularly into, I’m just trying to widen the circle of my friends

[AngryOfTuebrook]

[VladimirIlyich]

The Devil has been arrested. He's been charged with possession.

[Pidge]

 

 

 

 

 

 

[halewood pete]

I have two punch and Judy puppets I want to get rid of.I don't want any money for them,I just want somebody to take them off my hands.

[Clem H Fandango]

why don't professional boxers have sex the night before a big fight?

 

 

They probably don't like each other.

[Clem H Fandango]

i heard classical music coming from my kitchen cupboard this morning. turned out it was the chopin board.

[Clem H Fandango]

Grab your taco, you've pulled a dyslexic Mexican.