Corporate bellendary at work.

[Skidfingers McGonical]

My lads in a flexi time job where he can accrue days off, a local housing association HQ. It sounds a good idea to me.

 

It's brilliant. I don't know how I have survived in work for so long without it.

[Skidfingers McGonical]

You were good at filing in the last place we were at together. Plus you look good in a skirt.

 

Pervert. I wondered why you always made me file stuff that was high up.

[Moo]

I noticed yesterday in the minutes of the management group meeting that 'there is still some flexibility around the TL role'....

which translates as they still haven't worked out what they're meant to do now they no longer work on shift

 

This word alone is corporate bellendary at work, I hate it. How hard is it to put together a full sentence?

[Champ]

This word alone is corporate bellendary at work, I hate it. How hard is it to put together a full sentence?

 

I am not alone! And speaking with and meeting with. There is no need for this nonsense!

[lifetime fan]

The fucking fuck...

 

 

 

Happy Wellbeing Month!

 

This May is Wellbeing Month at the *** - an opportunity for everyone, including staff, volunteers and the people we support, to focus on their general wellbeing. So start thinking about events and activities that you can put on in your school, service or office to join in. To help you get started, we’ve attached an A-Z of ideas to give you a little inspiration.

 

But that isn’t all. At the end of the month, we want you to ditch your usual work attire for the launch of ‘Onesie Wednesday’.

 

In a first for the ***, on Wednesday 29 May, staff, volunteers and supporters are encouraged to wear a onesie to work (including your commute, if you’re brave enough!) to raise money, help increase awareness about autism, and have fun!

 

Everyone who takes part is asked to donate £1 to the ***, and those who choose not to wear a onesie are encouraged to donate £2.

[Champ]

Show us your onesie, mate!

 

Ermm. And what do they think...no, as you say, the fucking fuck do they think you're doing when you are at work any other day

[ChrisM]

The fucking fuck...

 

 

 

Happy Wellbeing Month!

 

This May is Wellbeing Month at the *** - an opportunity for everyone, including staff, volunteers and the people we support, to focus on their general wellbeing. So start thinking about events and activities that you can put on in your school, service or office to join in. To help you get started, we’ve attached an A-Z of ideas to give you a little inspiration.

 

But that isn’t all. At the end of the month, we want you to ditch your usual work attire for the launch of ‘Onesie Wednesday’.

 

In a first for the ***, on Wednesday 29 May, staff, volunteers and supporters are encouraged to wear a onesie to work (including your commute, if you’re brave enough!) to raise money, help increase awareness about autism, and have fun!

 

Everyone who takes part is asked to donate £1 to the ***, and those who choose not to wear a onesie are encouraged to donate £2.

 

Play by your own rules mate and make wednesdays your 'take your gun to work day'.

[FrenchEyeGlass]

Fucking hell. That is horrendous. Quit right now and burn the place down.

[Lee909]

FEG and Chris are correct

 

These stupid ideas need killed before they catch on

[Trumo]

It is hard to imagine the level of fuckwittery that causes a person or group to think that 'Onesie Wednesdays' are in any way a good idea. Or even that adult onesies are a good idea. If you are fucking stupid enough to consider going out and buying such a thing, your money would be better spent by giving it to the charity directly because clearly you aren't averse to spending it on crap otherwise.

[KMD7]

Fucking hell. That is horrendous. Quit right now and burn the place down.

 

This man knows

[lifetime fan]

Show us your onesie, mate!

 

Ermm. And what do they think...no, as you say, the fucking fuck do they think you're doing when you are at work any other day

 

 

I'd look like a fucking tellytubby!

[lifetime fan]

If they want to raise money I'll happily donate a hundred quid to slap some sense in to the daft cunt that thought this up.

[Soup]

in an email I received today-

– Simon’s charges will be calculated on a quantum meruit basis

 

I'm still none the wiser.

[Bjornebye]

I'd look like a fucking tellytubby!

 

haha you're not wrong Col

 

 

My missus has a onesie and to be fair she looks fucking hot in it. it's one of those tight ones though so it looks good round her sexy body. she wears it on a sunday if we have a lazy day. makes me a roast, sucks me off etc.

 

no donation needed.

 

fuck wellbeing day. wankers

[Rico1304]

It's fucking HR, they are to blame for 90% of this fucking shit. When it was personnel in the good old days it was 2 people, one did wages and one did holidays. Everything worked and noone got pissed off. Now it's about 30-40 women (sorry Champ) who have no idea about real work and so hide in the safe world of fucking HR.

[KMD7]

in an email I received today-

– Simon’s charges will be calculated on a quantum meruit basis

 

I'm still none the wiser.

 

Something to so with his perpetual motion device I'd say.

[lifetime fan]

in an email I received today-

– Simon’s charges will be calculated on a quantum meruit basis

 

I'm still none the wiser.

 

 

Just had a look on wiki...

 

Quantum meruit is a Latin phrase meaning "what one has earned".

 

So you'll pay Simon for the hours he's worked mate.

 

Wanna borrow my gun after I'm done?

[FrenchEyeGlass]

Corporate Bellendary (great term) extends beyond the workplace, though. In my last year at Uni we had wankers turning up to fucking lectures in Hugo Boss suits. They'd strive to interject between every other sentence with some vaguely related case study or article they'd read up on, ultimately resulting in me once shouting "put your fucking hand down you twats and let him finish the lecture".

 

Stupid prima donna cunts.

[Garrincha]

employee- 'lets have a day when everyone comes in, in a onesie'

employee 2 - 'yeah thats a great idea, lets make it a wednesday, like onesie wednesdays'

employee- "haha yeah, it'll be for charity so how much will we charge them'

employee 2 -'lets charge them 1 pound if they come in a onesie and 2 if they're grumpy so and so's and don't'

employee - "it's going to be so much fun'

employee 2 - 'yeah it is'

me - 'please kill yourself'

[Liverpool lad]

If they want to raise money I'll happily donate a hundred quid to slap some sense in to the daft cunt that thought this up.

 

I would love to see you in a onesie

 

Like Matt Lucas in Shooting Stars

[lifetime fan]

I would love to see you in a onesie

 

Like Matt Lucas in Shooting Stars

 

 

Wool cunt.

[Trumo]

in an email I received today-

– Simon’s charges will be calculated on a quantum meruit basis

 

I'm still none the wiser.

 

Is this the Simon? If so, it is prudent and sensible to initially approach everything with a sense of contended bewilderment.

[Redder Lurtz]

I'm looking forward to a wholly company financed party in August at a rooftop venue in Shoreditch. The majority of my company (about 60) work in London. About 12 of us (me and a bunch of sales girls) are based in Bradford.

 

My boss, also a woman, has suggested it would be "a really good idea" if the Bradford team "put on some kind of a show" for the London crowd.

 

I've recently learned how to say "shut the fuck up and don't even think about including me in your ridiculous fucking conversation" just by looking over the top of my specs.

 

I cringe to think of some "comedy" or "song" or even worse "dance" routine. I refuse to so much as discuss it.

[lifetime fan]

I'm looking forward to a wholly company financed party in August at a rooftop venue in Shoreditch. The majority of my company (about 60) work in London. About 12 of us (me and a bunch of sales girls) are based in Bradford.

 

My boss, also a woman, has suggested it would be "a really good idea" if the Bradford team "put on some kind of a show" for the London crowd.

 

I've recently learned how to say "shut the fuck up and don't even think about including me in your ridiculous fucking conversation" just by looking over the top of my specs.

 

I cringe to think of some "comedy" or "song" or even worse "dance" routine. I refuse to so much as discuss it.

 

 

Synchronised suicide?