Corporate bellendary at work.

[Guest The Big Green Bastard]

Not sure. The floor plan should give you some help.

 

 

Fucking that cunt Keith gets to see all the fanny sat in the corner.

[Liverpool lad]

Wool cunt.

 

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[lifetime fan]

Soon as I go bald that's me. I look the spit of my ol fella and that could be him on them drums.

[Remmie]

How many days did that last Rem?

As I work nights and this is a day activity I am not sure, but I haven't heard anything since

[Harry Squatter]

Some fella off my team had no allocated desk so he decides to sit on another bank of desks. The jobs worth team leader decides he cannot sit on their bank of desks because they deal with a different type of work and this fella doesn't have the right security clearance. This is because they have access to police information. Even though this fella has worked for the place for years, the fact that he may accidentally look at another persons screen it means that he might leg it out the office and blab everything to lOads of randoms.

[stevebaby]

Here's one I posted earlier:

 

 

 

Speechless.

"Cuddle my pigs bitches."

[Remmie]

Indeed

[moof]

haha you're not wrong Col

 

 

My missus has a onesie and to be fair she looks fucking hot in it. it's one of those tight ones though so it looks good round her sexy body. she wears it on a sunday if we have a lazy day. makes me a roast, sucks me off etc.

 

no donation needed.

 

fuck wellbeing day. wankers

 

I hope you realise that nobody believes you actually have a missus, not until you post a picture of her tits anyway :whistle:

[manwiththestick]

I hope you realise that nobody believes you actually have a missus, not until you post a picture of her tits anyway :whistle:

 

Pretty sure he has posted pics in the Fridge magnet thread on the MF. Still waiting for tits out ones though!

[PestiRed]

Team-building event this week but the marketing girl who has organised it won't tell me exactly what it entails except adventure activity in the woods. My suggestion that I should use the opportunity to build my remote management skills by supervising the whole thing from the nearest pub has been met with "that's why there is a disconnect with the management here"

 

So, me, a Yank, an Austrian, a Pole, two Italians and 30 Hungarians will be going into the woods on Friday. It's a fair bet that not all of us will be returning

[Creator Supreme]

I've been slaughtered in the past for not joining in with shit like this.

 

There was an episode years back were everyone was given a fucking bongo, and expected to join in with these twats drumming at the front of the lecture hall!

 

I sat there with a face like thunder shaking my head at the rest of them.

 

I had friends telling me life would be easier if I just joined in, my reply was baaaaaaa.

 

My supervisor was told by some nosy slag that I should be made to join in, I told her to fuck off before I found a use for the bongo!

 

I fucking hate people, theyre monumentally fucking stupid!

[TheBitch]

I'm glad I do real mens work and don't have to associate with dickheads like the aforementioned on a daily basis, like you queers.

 

I'm mainly glad because I'd be on a multiple life sentences. You people work with utter, utter, dickwads.

[KMD7]

I'm glad I do real mens work and don't have to associate with dickheads like the aforementioned on a daily basis, like you queers.

 

I'm mainly glad because I'd be on a multiple life sentences. You people work with utter, utter, dickwads.

 

Is this just an English thing though? I've never heard of or encountered this level of cuntishness in Irish offices.

[Rico1304]

I'm glad I do real mens work and don't have to associate with dickheads like the aforementioned on a daily basis, like you queers.

 

I'm mainly glad because I'd be on a multiple life sentences. You people work with utter, utter, dickwads.

 

Real men's work...with a lady's hair!

[Redder Lurtz]

Pretty sure he has posted pics in the Fridge magnet thread on the MF. Still waiting for tits out ones though!

 

*grabs sock and goes to the MF*

[TheBitch]

Real men's work...with a lady's hair!

 

Jealousy is a terrible trait, rico.

 

*flicks hair and flounces out of thread*

[Rico1304]

Jealousy is a terrible trait, rico.

 

*flicks hair and flounces out of thread*

 

Ha ha dead right, I had my hair cut on Friday and the woman hit me with a double whammy of purposely angling the mirror so she didn't show me my bald spot and then combing the front forward to hide my receding peak! Gutted.

[Champ]

Soon as I go bald that's me. I look the spit of my ol fella and that could be him on them drums.

 

Count yourself lucky. You could be Jamie Redknapp

[Champ]

Ha ha dead right, I had my hair cut on Friday and the woman hit me with a double whammy of purposely angling the mirror so she didn't show me my bald spot and then combing the front forward to hide my receding peak! Gutted.

 

Sorry but this image just popped into my head

 

[YOUTUBE]X0SbVFxl64A[/YOUTUBE]

[General Dryness]

Count yourself lucky. You could be Jamie Redknapp

 

If ending up with a face like a melted Droopy mask is the only penalty for getting to smash Louises back doors in for the rest of my days, sign me up.

[Remmie]

Is this just an English thing though? I've never heard of or encountered this level of cuntishness in Irish offices.

Though I have had the odd annoying thing at work, I've not really seen or heard of this level of thundercuntery. I did see a bit of it when I worked in the North however...

[Remmie]

Actually that's a lie, 30 more seconds of thinking about it and I have to put up with loads of bullshit at my place.

[Pony Princess]

The last place I worked as a permie had me in the office because they noticed every time there was a team building event announced I would book the day off. "You are cordially invited to an Olympic themed fun day at the Southport convention centre! A day of games, presentations and chance to brainstorm!"

 

fuck off

[Lee909]

Wow

 

In happy we don't do any of the shit that goes

on it most offices.Team building is generally calling someone a cunt etc.Noway do I get involved in any if that bullshit.They tried some crap the other week if attaching people's picture to emails so we would know who we were talking to.One quick call to email to service desk telling them they never ask if they could use my picture but a end to that shite.

The last building was me bringing back everyone I liked a bottle of rum/brandy/whiskey from Goa.

Yesterday was good as somebody brought me a bottle of UM(legally can't be called Rum) and a bottle if Slovak Meade from his trip to see inlaws in Slovakia.

[Rico1304]

We have one every month, that's 5% of the working month. Crazy.

 

At our last one we got the room and were given post it pads and were told to write something that we liked about each person on the team and stick them to a poster containing each team members name.

 

Obviously it was too good an opportunity to miss so I just went to mine and put things like 'Fantastic kisser' 'Considerate lover' 'Always pushes back' and then general abuse on my mate's.