Corporate bellendary at work.

[lifetime fan]

Dont you just love the 'caring' profession?

 

Are you unionised?

 

 

I'm in Unison but think I'm probably the only one, daft cunts.

[Champ]

Not that that helped too much when our salaries were cut under so-called Modernising Pay, although just as our pay protection period comes to an end 3 years later the union seems to have negotiated some further concessions so ours won't be quite as bad as we'd feared. Someone in the team had been due to lose £500 a month but now will only be losing about £250.

Bastards

[Champ]

Investors in People. Oh, the irony

[Hooch]

"We'll put that in the development hopper".

[RedinSweden]

£2k for me as I hardly do nights anymore, £3k for others and when you're only earning £15k that's a lot of fucking money.

 

Editing my response at the moment.

 

Fucking hell, that's a 20% hit. Wouldn't £12k a year be below minimum wage for full time work?

[lifetime fan]

Fucking hell, that's a 20% hit. Wouldn't £12k a year be below minimum wage for full time work?

 

 

Nope. £11,900 something, going up a tad in October.

[littletedwest]

Nope. £11,900 something, going up a tad in October.

 

feel for you pal.

 

In my job we get a salary and then a bonus based on sales.

bonuses have always been achievable if you work, last three months they have put our targets to impossible levels. pay cut by another name. Get the old "we have to be ambitious when setting targets" shit

[Champ]

Nope. £11,900 something, going up a tad in October.

 

feel for you pal.

 

In my job we get a salary and then a bonus based on sales.

bonuses have always been achievable if you work, last three months they have put our targets to impossible levels. pay cut by another name. Get the old "we have to be ambitious when setting targets" shit

 

That's the minimum wage (I think)

 

Bonuses seem to be pretty much the preserve of the private sector. What we (in my local authority) are now entering is pay rises dependent on performance which, when you're not actually producing goods/achieving sales is pretty ripe for manipulation depending on who's assessing that 'performance' I'd say

[Jose Jones]

That's the minimum wage (I think)

 

Bonuses seem to be pretty much the preserve of the private sector. What we (in my local authority) are now entering is pay rises dependent on performance which, when you're not actually producing goods/achieving sales is pretty ripe for manipulation depending on who's assessing that 'performance' I'd say

 

Performance Related Pay where depending on your end of year review and grade and current level of pay you get a non-consolidated uplift. Which is out of the total salary package which has increased by 1%, whilst inflation is 3%.

Still at least it's a payrise and you are lucky to have a job, especially with all the public sector cuts.

[Champ]

Performance Related Pay where depending on your end of year review and grade and current level of pay you get a non-consolidated uplift. Which is out of the total salary package which has increased by 1%, whilst inflation is 3%.

Still at least it's a payrise and you are lucky to have a job, especially with all the public sector cuts.

 

Are you talking about me or is that your own situation you are describing?

[Champ]

Nope. £11,900 something, going up a tad in October.

 

Speaker on the radio this morning put it at £11250. How is this acceptable?

[Jose Jones]

Are you talking about me or is that your own situation you are describing?

 

General rant really based on experience but also I imagine slightly applicable to your situation.

[Champ]

General rant really based on experience but also I imagine slightly applicable to your situation.

 

What's a non-consolidated uplift?

[Jose Jones]

What's a non-consolidated uplift?

 

Corporate bellendery! Consolidated means payrise that you get to keep. Non-consolidated means a one off that doesn't get added on to your base salary.

[Champ]

General rant really based on experience but also I imagine slightly applicable to your situation.

 

Pretty much then apart from there has been no salary increase for the past 2 years

[RedinSweden]

Similar here in the health sector, though not quite as awful. The pay is generally better too. Mrs RiS jacked it in though and joined me in the world of casino games. Far more lucrative!

[Mathewbet1]

Going forward, I'd like to drill down on your post - keeping the end of play in mind. I like to touch base with people on matters whenever it's on my radar. I mean it's a no brainer that when it comes to phrases, some go after the low hanging fruit as the easy way to communicate. Certain cliches, however, are a quick way to reach out and help a person dive deeper and think outside the box when trying to get a point across. This creates a positive momentum that helps you execute ideas that turn into achievable milestones that everyone on your team understands. If you run the numbers, and keep the touch points in mind, it will help you keep your eye on the ball. Otherwise, it's back to the drawing board if you want to get the ball rolling and succeed in achieving your biggest bang for the buck. I always tell my colleagues if you want to close the deal, you have to leverage your strengths or you'll have a shift paradigm that will move the needle away from your objective. What I'm advocating here is not game-changing; just suggesting that using cliches can move the goal post closer. The value added here is a win-win for everyone. Great article, Bernard. I mean across the piece your article is spot on. I'm only saying cliches do have their usefulness. Not all hands on deck will agree with my viewpoint, yet the value proposition here is to incentivize others to act quickly and flesh out what will work. If you want to discuss this with me further, let's take it offline

[Rico1304]

I don't know where to put this, here seems as good as anywhere...

 

I was in a meeting with a few blokes yesterday afternoon and noticed after a while that one of the blokes was wearing a grubby shirt. The cuffs were mucky but I thought maybe he'd been sitting at a dusty desk and gave it no mind...until he put his arm in the air and his fucking armpit was GREEN with stale sweat. There is no fucking way it was from that day, how the fuck could he iron and then wear a white shirt that had fucking fungus growing in the pit? From then on I could t even hear what he was saying the dirty bastard.

[Mustangt125]

Probably Mathewbet's best ever post.

[Curly]

Going forward, I'd like to drill down on your post - keeping the end of play in mind. I like to touch base with people on matters whenever it's on my radar. I mean it's a no brainer that when it comes to phrases, some go after the low hanging fruit as the easy way to communicate. Certain cliches, however, are a quick way to reach out and help a person dive deeper and think outside the box when trying to get a point across. This creates a positive momentum that helps you execute ideas that turn into achievable milestones that everyone on your team understands. If you run the numbers, and keep the touch points in mind, it will help you keep your eye on the ball. Otherwise, it's back to the drawing board if you want to get the ball rolling and succeed in achieving your biggest bang for the buck. I always tell my colleagues if you want to close the deal, you have to leverage your strengths or you'll have a shift paradigm that will move the needle away from your objective. What I'm advocating here is not game-changing; just suggesting that using cliches can move the goal post closer. The value added here is a win-win for everyone. Great article, Bernard. I mean across the piece your article is spot on. I'm only saying cliches do have their usefulness. Not all hands on deck will agree with my viewpoint, yet the value proposition here is to incentivize others to act quickly and flesh out what will work. If you want to discuss this with me further, let's take it offline

 

Haha. Quality

[PestiRed]

Going forward, I'd like to drill down on your post - keeping the end of play in mind. I like to touch base with people on matters whenever it's on my radar. I mean it's a no brainer that when it comes to phrases, some go after the low hanging fruit as the easy way to communicate. Certain cliches, however, are a quick way to reach out and help a person dive deeper and think outside the box when trying to get a point across. This creates a positive momentum that helps you execute ideas that turn into achievable milestones that everyone on your team understands. If you run the numbers, and keep the touch points in mind, it will help you keep your eye on the ball. Otherwise, it's back to the drawing board if you want to get the ball rolling and succeed in achieving your biggest bang for the buck. I always tell my colleagues if you want to close the deal, you have to leverage your strengths or you'll have a shift paradigm that will move the needle away from your objective. What I'm advocating here is not game-changing; just suggesting that using cliches can move the goal post closer. The value added here is a win-win for everyone. Great article, Bernard. I mean across the piece your article is spot on. I'm only saying cliches do have their usefulness. Not all hands on deck will agree with my viewpoint, yet the value proposition here is to incentivize others to act quickly and flesh out what will work. If you want to discuss this with me further, let's take it offline

 

Bottom line, your evangelism of cliche is simply not delivering enough bang for the buck and you're not bringing anything to the table, nor stepping up to the plate. Please engage yourself in some blue-sky thinking until you truly address the elephants in the room and genuinely bring home the bacon

[Champ]

In my Inbox today an email advising that there would be someone working in our building measuring space required for our pending move and that we were not to ask him any questions, delaying him in his task.

 

Have some people nothing better to do!

[lifetime fan]

10-16% pay cuts for staff, reduced overtime rates, no cost of living pay rise for the 4th year running but don't worry we have the fucking 'Bright Star Awards'.

 

That's right folks, fuck that folding stuff you can spend on drink, drugs and hookers, my work are going to give you a certificate instead!

 

I swear you couldn't make this shit up and I'm glad I was off sick when this crap was announced.

 

 

 

We are introducing monthly star awards for staff team , to boost moral and reward staff.

Please print and display poster.

Shining star award nomination form attached and bright star certificate.

poster explains please read.

We are going to start this in august, so august will be the first month.

I am hoping to find a wall to display awards so all can see .

any question please contact me.

 

 

 

Somerset Area

Bright Star & Shining Star

Monthly Awards

 

How can we recognise and award staff for outstanding work?

How can we improve staff moral?

How can we motivate staff?

The Somerset Area

Bright Star & Shining Star Awards

 

The Bright Star award is a local award to your house / department / area of work.

 

The Shining Star award is the overall Shining Star from all areas for the month.

 

How it will work, each month the manager will nominate a Bright Star from their house / department / area of work.

This person will be acknowledged in the team meeting and given a certificate which will be displayed in office for that month.

 

The manager will then submit a short form to nominate there Bright Star for the area Monthly Shining Star award.

This will then be judge by two non-operational staff and the results displayed where everyone can see.

 

This is just a fun was to motivate and reward staff.

[Champ]

10-16% pay cuts for staff, reduced overtime rates, no cost of living pay rise for the 4th year running but don't worry we have the fucking 'Bright Star Awards'.

 

That's right folks, fuck that folding stuff you can spend on drink, drugs and hookers, my work are going to give you a certificate instead!

 

I swear you couldn't make this shit up and I'm glad I was off sick when this crap was announced.

 

 

 

We are introducing monthly star awards for staff team , to boost moral and reward staff.

Please print and display poster.

Shining star award nomination form attached and bright star certificate.

poster explains please read.

We are going to start this in august, so august will be the first month.

I am hoping to find a wall to display awards so all can see .

any question please contact me.

 

 

 

Somerset Area

Bright Star & Shining Star

Monthly Awards

 

How can we recognise and award staff for outstanding work?

How can we improve staff moral?

How can we motivate staff?

The Somerset Area

Bright Star & Shining Star Awards

 

The Bright Star award is a local award to your house / department / area of work.

 

The Shining Star award is the overall Shining Star from all areas for the month.

 

How it will work, each month the manager will nominate a Bright Star from their house / department / area of work.

This person will be acknowledged in the team meeting and given a certificate which will be displayed in office for that month.

 

The manager will then submit a short form to nominate there Bright Star for the area Monthly Shining Star award.

This will then be judge by two non-operational staff and the results displayed where everyone can see.

 

This is just a fun was to motivate and reward staff.

 

I've never heard such patronising shite. Their insensitivity is breathtaking.

 

Well, they'll not be winning the Shining Star for spelling, will they?

 

You could always put yourself forward as the morals mentor, if I've misunderstood the purpose of the awards, lifey

[lifetime fan]

I'm still composing my reply to their pay award.

 

Pity I need my job at the moment.