Corporate bellendary at work.

[zigackly]

It's the same in every sector mate.

 

Wankers are every where, decent people everywhere.

 

Proportions seem different, but it's still all new and shiny to me so I could be somewhat naive.

[Bjornebye]

Great post number 16,380.

God you are fucking boring!

 

Oh it's redderz HR lady. Fuck.

[Furmedge]

Team leaders are fucking useless. In my job they're just another obstacle in the way of getting a decision made.

 

My place recently introduced team leaders and they report into me. I agree they are pointless (in our place anyway) but it gives me a chance to 'delegate' all the shit I can't be arsed doing so I have more time to fuck about on here.

[Champ]

 

My place recently introduced team leaders and they report into me. I agree they are pointless (in our place anyway) but it gives me a chance to 'delegate' all the shit I can't be arsed doing so I have more time to fuck about on here.

 

Are you a big boss, Furmedge?

Given others' description of TL's on here I'm wondering if its another of those meaningless titles so many of seem to have these days. My new title is Senior Practitioner. What does that mean to anyone?

[Guest The Big Green Bastard]

Are you a big boss, Furmedge?

Given others' description of TL's on here I'm wondering if its another of those meaningless titles so many of seem to have these days. My new title is Senior Practitioner. What does that mean to anyone?

 

That means you are the oldest bint at work.

[zigackly]

Or at least the oldest bint who actually does anything.

[Champ]

 

That means you are the oldest bint at work.

 

The question was rhetorical

[VladimirIlyich]

 

Are you a big boss' date=' Furmedge?

Given others' description of TL's on here I'm wondering if its another of those meaningless titles so many of seem to have these days. My new title is Senior Practitioner. What does that mean to anyone?[/quote']

 

So you are a doctor or nurse then?

Or at least thats what it means to me.

[lifetime fan]

Oi!

 

I'm a Senior Practitioner too and I'm no fucking bint like Cath.

 

Hahaha It's too soon since your last neg to get me again.

[Pony Princess]

Just finished my first week of contracting and it is amazing how much bullshit I am avoiding.

 

Some classics from my times in permanent employment - bearing in mind that this job requires a degree in computer science:

 

- Getting bollocked for replacing a defective mouse with one from an unused computer, because 'you could have got an electric shock'.

- Being told all streaming from youtube is being blocked because it 'spreads viruses'.

- Having to call a girl from HR to put some Christmas deccies up, because standing on a foot stool is officially 'working at heights' and requires a 1-day safety course and certificate.

- Not being allowed to charge your phone via usb or power supply as, again, 'it spreads viruses'

- Having to attend days and days of 'Treating Customers Fairly' faggery-daggery-doo despite being a fucking software developer whom no-one in their right mind would let within 100 yards of a customer.

 

This is all one company by the way. The worst company I have worked for since I left uni. Fucking grim.

 

I don't miss that shit.

[Champ]

 

So you are a doctor or nurse then?

Or at least thats what it means to me.

 

Oi!

 

I'm a Senior Practitioner too and I'm no fucking bint like Cath.

 

Hahaha It's too soon since your last neg to get me again.

 

Exactly. Its absolutely fucking meaningless to anyone outside the organisation you work for

[Anny Road]

I was once given a formal written warning for refusing to go on a staff meal out on a friday night which was apparently team building and compulsory. I said that I see enough of you pricks all week without spending my weekends with you as well.

Monday morning boss's office formal warning for being abusive to colleagues. Was told i get three of these then it is instant dismissal.

I therefore told him him to sick this one up his arse and was given another one later in the day. Left a week or two later

[Acid]

Just finished my first week of contracting and it is amazing how much bullshit I am avoiding.

 

Some classics from my times in permanent employment - bearing in mind that this job requires a degree in computer science:

 

- Getting bollocked for replacing a defective mouse with one from an unused computer, because 'you could have got an electric shock'.

- Being told all streaming from youtube is being blocked because it 'spreads viruses'.

- Having to call a girl from HR to put some Christmas deccies up, because standing on a foot stool is officially 'working at heights' and requires a 1-day safety course and certificate.

- Not being allowed to charge your phone via usb or power supply as, again, 'it spreads viruses'

- Having to attend days and days of 'Treating Customers Fairly' faggery-daggery-doo despite being a fucking software developer whom no-one in their right mind would let within 100 yards of a customer.

 

This is all one company by the way. The worst company I have worked for since I left uni. Fucking grim.

 

I don't miss that shit.

 

I can get a virus from youtube, and charging my phone? Shit. I go on youtube all the time, and Im charging my phone right now!

[Guest The Big Green Bastard]

I was once given a formal written warning for refusing to go on a staff meal out on a friday night which was apparently team building and compulsory. I said that I see enough of you pricks all week without spending my weekends with you as well.

Monday morning boss's office formal warning for being abusive to colleagues. Was told i get three of these then it is instant dismissal.

I therefore told him him to sick this one up his arse and was given another one later in the day. Left a week or two later

 

WTF?

 

Was David Brent the manager? Maybe you should have claimed overtime for going to such an important work function that would be punished if unable to attend.

[TheBitch]

 

I can get a virus from youtube' date=' and charging my phone? Shit. I go on youtube all the time, and Im charging my phone right now![/quote']

 

You've now got the AIDS. RIP. YNWA.

[NeeOnionsMate]

Who's this dribbling berk then. Any advances on BBB?

 

Dribbling berk? Evidence?

 

My evidence:

16,000+ boring posts since January 2008 = TOTALLY BORING CUNT WITH NO MATES (apart from the other ad cunts on here), WITH NO LIFE TO SPEAK OF

[Sugar Ape]

 

Dribbling berk? Evidence?

 

 

Evidence? This is Guantanamo Bay motherfucker, we don't need evidence.

[zigackly]

Dribbling berk? Evidence?

 

You're only on here to stalk someone, that's evidence enough.

[Furmedge]

 

Are you a big boss' date=' Furmedge?[/quote']

 

I'm the Continuous Improvement Senior Analyst so I have a corporate bellend title myself. I work closely with the MD who enjoys giving me a shit title so, in his words, no-one really has a fucking clue what I really do. Team leaders report into me to ask stuff like what works at particular types of day and what type of work should they be concentrating on. No, me neither. Then they toddle off and make sure the rest of their teams do it. I'm getting some good game time in on Angry Birds put it that way.

[Anubis]

Dribbling berk? Evidence?

 

My evidence:

16,000+ boring posts since January 2008 = TOTALLY BORING CUNT WITH NO MATES (apart from the other ad cunts on here), WITH NO LIFE TO SPEAK OF

 

Is this Lurtzy's stalker back? John Henry Sayers?

[lifetime fan]

Work: We are reviewing all salaries to ensure a fair and consistent approach across all services. No one will have to take a pay cut though.

 

Me: According to your proposal you are going to scrap unsocial hours payments and transfer me to a new pay scale matching my base salary.

 

Work: Yes, no one will have to take a pay cut.

 

Me: Except 100% of direct care staff that work shifts will have a pay cut.

 

Work: No one will have to take a pay cut.

 

Me: Is my unsocial hours bonus part of my contract of employment or do you just pay me it for fun?

 

Work: It's part of your contract.

 

Me: Which you are going to take away and not replace, meaning a pay cut of nearly three grand.

 

Work: No one will be forced to take a pay cut.

 

Me: I'll keep my unsocial hours bonus then thanks.

 

Work: That's not possible.

 

Me: Fuck off.

 

 

 

From: ***** ********

Sent: 25 February 2013 12:05

To: Colin Groombridge

Subject: RE: feedback on consultation

 

 

Dear Colin

 

We would like to thank all staff for their feedback at the most recent consultation exercise. We value input from all our dedicated staff even if your views strongly opposed the option we have selected.

 

Kind regards

 

*****

 

 

So it's just a bollocks PR exercise and they've already decided how they're going to slash salaries.

 

But they've wasted fuck knows how many tens of thousands of pounds on Anon Hewitt to try and make themselves look better.

[Champ]

Its the dishonesty of it that fucking riles. Same with us. In our review they kept referring to Consultation which in HR speak appears to mean asking the views of staff, well, for what exactly, because they've already made up their minds what they're going to do before they even start

[Champ]

Its the dishonesty of it that fucking riles. Same with us. In our review they kept referring to Consultation which in HR speak appears to mean asking the views of staff' date=' well, for what exactly, because they've already made up their minds what they're going to do before they even start[/quote']

 

Investors in People. Don't make me laugh

[lifetime fan]

Its the dishonesty of it that fucking riles. Same with us. In our review they kept referring to Consultation which in HR speak appears to mean asking the views of staff, well, for what exactly, because they've already made up their minds what they're going to do before they even start

 

 

£5m surplus last year, no cost of living rise for 3 years (we had a £300 one off bonus last year) so pay cuts is obviously the way forward.

[VladimirIlyich]

 

From: ***** ********

Sent: 25 February 2013 12:05

To: Colin Groombridge

Subject: RE: feedback on consultation

 

Dear Colin

 

We would like to thank all staff for their feedback at the most recent consultation exercise. We value input from all our dedicated staff even if your views strongly opposed the option we have selected.

 

Kind regards

 

*****

 

So it's just a bollocks PR exercise and they've already decided how they're going to slash salaries.

 

But they've wasted fuck knows how many tens of thousands of pounds on Anon Hewitt to try and make themselves look better.

 

You've revealed your true identity Col.