Deaf or Blind?

[Fugitive]

doesn't work. :( i wanted to rep, but need to spread it around a bit apparently. so thought i would add my thoughts.

 

all my kids are wearing their colours tomorrow, sod the school uniform shit.

 

oh and the glory hunters are out. my mobile has been switched off.

 

Nope, I doubt anything is going to get my spirits up for a few weeks at least.

 

I've just had a text from some dickhead I used to work with telling me how great his beloved team are. This is the same lad that apparently used to support City according to his Cousin. They really are a bunch of glory hunting idiots.

 

Loving the defiance sending the kids in with their kits on.

[Mel Wood]

If you were stuck down with some illness and the Doctors gave you the option of keeping one of the two senses but the other would go, what would you choose?

 

Sight

 

If you lost your sight you would not be able to watch porn, perv on women, watch ****ball or use the Internet. Imagine if you were getting nagged by the wife as well and wanted to make a quick getaway, you would be fucked. I suppose you would be able to use it as a good excuse not to work but life would be a bit shit.

 

Hearing

 

You would never be able to listen to Music again, have to go through all the bollocks learning sign language and would not know if people are talking behind your back. A plus would be not hearing the wife nag at you 24/7 and could act stupid if someone asks you to do something.

 

 

If anyone is reading this and is offended because they are deaf, I apologise. I doubt the Blind will ever know about this thread so meh to them.

 

AHA! Does this development affect the voting at all?

 

Braille pornographic magazine launched for the blind

 

A pornographic magazine for the blind has been launched - complete with braille text and raised pictures of naked men and women.

 

Published: 6:45AM BST 13 Apr 2010

 

Among the 17 raised images include a naked woman in a 'disco pose', a woman with 'perfect breasts' and a 'male love robot' Photo: Lisa Murphy

The book was designed by Lisa Murphy and is called Tactile Minds. It is designed to be 'enjoyed' by the blind and visually impaired - and is on sale for £150.

 

Among the 17 raised images include a naked woman in a 'disco pose', a woman with 'perfect breasts' and a 'male love robot'.

Murphy, who is from Canada, said that she made the book to fill a gap in the market, adding: "There are no books of tactile pictures of nudes for adults.

 

"We're breaking new ground. Playboy has an edition with Braille wording, but there are no pictures."

 

She said that she made the book after realising that the "blind have been left out in a culture saturated with sexual images".

 

Between 1970 and 1985 Playboy printed copies of its famous magazine in braille - but without raised pictures.

 

In the interests of fairness though, I think somebody should come up with a porno mag for the deaf too.

 

A standard one is no good. What they need is a warning beacon at the top of the page that flashes off and on when someone's coming upstairs.

 

Imagine how many times deaf people are caught having a thrapshuffle by their mums/wives at the moment?

 

I'll take that one to Dragon's Den I think.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

lmfao.

[Paulie Dangerously]

There's a nursery nurse in ToddleD's nursery who is either deaf or very hard of hearing, she has like a box on the side of her head, not a hearing aide but something else.

 

She seems to understand what I say and what the kids say but I find myself speaking to her like she's stupid.  Talking slowly and loudly, like I was on holiday explaining to Luigi the waiter that I wanted a full english breakfast. I can't help myself but do hand actions as well for the most basic of things like "pen" I'll do a drawing motion.

 

Is anyone else this awkward around differently abled people or is it just me?

[Mook]

There's a nursery nurse in ToddleD's nursery who is either deaf or very hard of hearing, she has like a box on the side of her head, not a hearing aide but something else.

 

She seems to understand what I say and what the kids say but I find myself speaking to her like she's stupid.  Talking slowly and loudly, like I was on holiday explaining to Luigi the waiter that I wanted a full english breakfast. I can't help myself but do hand actions as well for the most basic of things like "pen" I'll do a drawing motion.

 

Is anyone else this awkward around differently abled people or is it just me?

 

Is this her?

 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

My mate said he'd rather go blind because the thought of never being able to listen to music again would kill him.

 

 

Sounds like something a gary head or hipster would say.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Deaf everytime, so long as I didn't have to have a fucked voice as a result; I'd hate to sound like a mong (apologies to anyone offended).

 

I've always wanted to learn lip reading, would be an ace skill to see what others are accurately saying from a distance. When I get older I've decided I'm getting selective deafness anyway, can't wait to ignore requests do stuff, ignore people you can't be arsed with and plonk myself in front of the test match for hours in peace.

 

 

Are you worried about offending the Deaf, or Mongs, or deaf mongs  ?, just wondering.

[Jose Jones]

Heard something today about this blind fella (lost both eyes to cancer when he was 4) who has taught himself echolocation. So he can form pictures in his mind like a bat or whale. Goes hiking up mountains by himself, rides bikes in traffic and stuff.

 

The visual cortex in the brain of most blind people is inactive but with him it is as active. Apparently all humans could train themselves to do it.

 

I bet he can do a boss Stevie Wonder impression too.

[Hand Shandy]

Don't think he's too worried. He's an equal opportunities insulter.

[Captain Turdseye]

Are you worried about offending the Deaf, or Mongs, or deaf mongs ?, just wondering.

There's a realistic chance I could end up as a blind mong, a deaf mong or a blind deaf mong. I'll definitely be a mong like, no question, but it would be quite pleasant if I popped my clogs before my I lost my sight.

 

If I do go deaf, I'll 100% be revisiting this thread to take offence at pretty much every post in here. Including this one.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Are you worried about offending the Deaf, or Mongs, or deaf mongs  ?, just wondering.

 

Don't want my child's development to be stunted because I offended the deaf girl.  Plus she's pretty tasty

 

Heard something today about this blind fella (lost both eyes to cancer when he was 4) who has taught himself echolocation. So he can form pictures in his mind like a bat or whale. Goes hiking up mountains by himself, rides bikes in traffic and stuff.

 

The visual cortex in the brain of most blind people is inactive but with him it is as active. Apparently all humans could train themselves to do it.

 

I bet he can do a boss Stevie Wonder impression too.

 

Pretty amazing that

 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

I've said this before, but I sat by a table of deafies in the pub once, never in my life have a I sat by a gang of noisier bastards.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

There's a realistic chance I could end up as a blind mong, a deaf mong or a blind deaf mong. I'll definitely be a mong like, no question, but it would be quite pleasant if I popped my clogs before my I lost my sight.

 

If I do go deaf, I'll 100% be revisiting this thread to take offence at pretty much every post in here. Including this one.

 

Captain Turd eyes.

[Bjornebye]

I've said this before, but I sat by a table of deafies in the pub once, never in my life have a I sat by a gang of noisier bastards.

Should have told them to shut up

[Mook]

This is a bit fucking gay but I've got loads of respect for people who learn sign language to help a friend or relative, I think that's one of the nicest things a person can do & when I see someone doing it, I think 'There's a decent cunt.'.

 

By the same token, when you read that a blind person has been robbed or something in the street, is there anything scummier than that? Life must be fucking terrifying enough when you can't see without some bastard robbing you as your trying to get about the place.

[Bjornebye]

This is a bit fucking gay but I've got loads of respect for people who learn sign language to help a friend or relative, I think that's one of the nicest things a person can do & when I see someone doing it, I think 'There's a decent cunt.'.

 

.

Spot on. I don't know sign language for homo but I'm gonna find out

[Ezekiel 25:17]

An oven glove provides the perfect foil for deaf people who are worried about nosey people listening in on them.

[Fowlers God]

This is a bit fucking gay but I've got loads of respect for people who learn sign language to help a friend or relative, I think that's one of the nicest things a person can do & when I see someone doing it, I think 'There's a decent cunt.'.

 

By the same token, when you read that a blind person has been robbed or something in the street, is there anything scummier than that? Life must be fucking terrifying enough when you can't see without some bastard robbing you as your trying to get about the place.

There was a FB video not long back of a whole town learning sign language for one lad . It was a promo for some big company that filmed it all but it was a nice touch!

[Paul]

There's a nursery nurse in ToddleD's nursery who is either deaf or very hard of hearing, she has like a box on the side of her head, not a hearing aide but something else.

 

She seems to understand what I say and what the kids say but I find myself speaking to her like she's stupid. Talking slowly and loudly, like I was on holiday explaining to Luigi the waiter that I wanted a full english breakfast. I can't help myself but do hand actions as well for the most basic of things like "pen" I'll do a drawing motion.

 

Is anyone else this awkward around differently abled people or is it just me?

It'll be a cochlear implant, I reckon:

 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cochlear_implant

[Captain Turdseye]

Sorry, a what?

[Alan Sex]

It'll be a cochlear implant, I reckon:https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cochlear_implant

Never heard of one of those, though I can't see why.

[RJ Fan club]

Are you worried about offending the Deaf, or Mongs, or deaf mongs ?, just wondering.

The relatives of mongs.

[VladimirIlyich]

Don't want my child's development to be stunted because I offended the deaf girl.

Plus she's pretty tasty.

 

 

Is this the Gary Glitter Kindergarten your daughter attends?

[Paulie Dangerously]

Is this the Gary Glitter Kindergarten your daughter attends?

 

No we took her out of that one.  She's in the Clifford-Harris one now

[bigbak]

Deaf.  I'm part way there with old age and miss a lot as it is.  I wouldn't be giving up much.

 

I already know most of the sign language I'd need to use for the cunts I work with.