Subway Halal Meat

[Pony Princess]

What do you call a Muslim with a gammon steak on his head?

Ahmed

 

What do you call a Muslim with two gammon steaks on his head?

Muhammed

[Anny Road]

Being a suicide bomber and not liking bacon has a certain karma to it.

[Strontium]

That was an equal opportunities Rep, assuming your contempt was for each flavour of religion.

 

Yeah, it's all the same shit, they just change the label.

[celeryBADboy]

Yeah, it's all the same shit, they just change the label.

Its not equal though is it?

[razor]

I am both a vegetarian and a bleeding-heart left wing liberal.

 

I am outraged.

 

Or really happy.

[Liverpool lad]

Are the vegetables halal?

[KMD7]

Halal?  Is is meat you're looking?

 

 

Shallow Halal

[Jose Jones]

Halal is a typical cultural common sense thing that spread through religion.  Same as with the not digging swine.

As Islam sprung up from hot dry countries pigs were not good animals to eat as they require a lot of food and water to keep.  Sheep and goats on the other hand can live on scrub and a dirty puddle.  Therefore wise leader recommends that people don't keep pigs, over years it gets into religious texts.  Common sense at one time that ends up becoming religious duty.  Which is still common sense in Arabic countries, mind you.

Same with Halal, it was the most hygienic way to slaughter animals back in the olden days when books were written, good practice, but now is religious doctrine.

 

See also the burying someone's dead body before the sun goes down on the day they died prevents disease spread and stinkyness, and various other religious things like that.

 

I get most of my meat from a halal butcher as I live in a bit of a Mediterranean stronghold and a turkish butcher is the closest.  Damn good quality it is too.  Have to go to the italian butcher a bit further away for pork and sausages though.

 

New Zealand I understand kills all it's animals in the Halal method as they export a load of it. 

Subway tastes like shit so should probably avoid anyway.

[General Dryness]

Halal is a typical cultural common sense thing that spread through religion.  Same as with the not digging swine.

As Islam sprung up from hot dry countries pigs were not good animals to eat as they require a lot of food and water to keep.  Sheep and goats on the other hand can live on scrub and a dirty puddle.  Therefore wise leader recommends that people don't keep pigs, over years it gets into religious texts.  Common sense at one time that ends up becoming religious duty.  Which is still common sense in Arabic countries, mind you.

Same with Halal, it was the most hygienic way to slaughter animals back in the olden days when books were written, good practice, but now is religious doctrine.

 

See also the burying someone's dead body before the sun goes down on the day they died prevents disease spread and stinkyness, and various other religious things like that.

 

I get most of my meat from a halal butcher as I live in a bit of a Mediterranean stronghold and a turkish butcher is the closest.  Damn good quality it is too.  Have to go to the italian butcher a bit further away for pork and sausages though.

 

New Zealand I understand kills all it's animals in the Halal method as they export a load of it. 

Subway tastes like shit so should probably avoid anyway.

 

Whilst this is my country of residence, I was unaware of this. Had a quick look into it, and its not strictly halal i.e. the animal is stunned first.

 

Is the Halal method of slaughtering animals in full compliance with animal welfare requirements in New Zealand?

In New Zealand, all commercial slaughter of livestock, including religious slaughter, must be undertaken in a humane manner in accordance with New Zealand’s animal welfare laws. These laws require animals to be ‘stunned’ immediately prior to slaughter.  Stunning ensures an immediate loss of consciousness to prevent animals from feeling any pain during the slaughter process.

 

 

FAQ here.

[RedRazor]

How should we kill them then? Get them pissed then a bullet through the back of the head when they are having a piss? 

If, when I lie on my death bed (hopefully many years from now), I decide to compile my top ten best ever TLW posts, this may well be worthy of consideration.

[RedRazor]

Halal is a typical cultural common sense thing that spread through religion.  Same as with the not digging swine.

As Islam sprung up from hot dry countries pigs were not good animals to eat as they require a lot of food and water to keep.  Sheep and goats on the other hand can live on scrub and a dirty puddle.  Therefore wise leader recommends that people don't keep pigs, over years it gets into religious texts.  Common sense at one time that ends up becoming religious duty.  Which is still common sense in Arabic countries, mind you.

Same with Halal, it was the most hygienic way to slaughter animals back in the olden days when books were written, good practice, but now is religious doctrine.

 

See also the burying someone's dead body before the sun goes down on the day they died prevents disease spread and stinkyness, and various other religious things like that.

 

I get most of my meat from a halal butcher as I live in a bit of a Mediterranean stronghold and a turkish butcher is the closest.  Damn good quality it is too.  Have to go to the italian butcher a bit further away for pork and sausages though.

 

New Zealand I understand kills all it's animals in the Halal method as they export a load of it. 

Subway tastes like shit so should probably avoid anyway.

A few years back I had done a good bit of work for a muslim guy and he promised to buy me lunch next time he was at the office I worked in. Eventually the day arrived and he took me off to the pub at lunchtime. The conversation went like this:

 

Muslim Guy: What do you want?

Me : mmm not sure. What you having? 

MG: Just a glass of water

Me: wtf?

MG: It's Ramamamadingdong

 

* thoughts of you tight fisted twat etc run through my mind

 

Me: I'll have a pint

MG: you want something to eat?

Me: Yeah, I'll have the special burger with bacon.

 

* takes seat and engages in chit chat

 

Me: So why is that Muslims don't eat pork?

MG: We don't eat any animal that eats it's own shit.

 

* short pause

 

Me: You ever eaten rabbit?

 

Now I never got an actual answer to that one but his response told me that he clearly had.

 

So clearly the reasons for not eating pork have become lost on at least one of the flock.

 

Like most people of any religion it quickly becomes a religion of convenieince. Strict adherence at all times, except those times were it doesn't suit your lifestyle choices.

[General Dryness]

If, when I lie on my death bed (hopefully many years from now), I decide to compile my top ten best ever TLW posts, this may well be worthy of consideration.

 

Really? Thats only just scraped into 1578th position on my list of best ever Bjornebye quotes. It'll take a bit more calculation to find out where it stands in the pantheon of TLW.

[Innova]

I'm never a fan of halal food. Over here in my country, Malays make up a significant portion of the population, so there are halal food all over the place.

 

Luckily subway hasn't been 'halal-fied' yet, pork is good.

 

Never gotten why Muslims don't take pork, the common consensus among the religion is that pigs eat all the shit and whatever not that's found on the ground, but the fact is that most pigs now are reared with corn and other kinds of food.

 

Pork is great tasting too.

[BENIRL]

There only in it for the prophet.

[Jose Jones]

A few years back I had done a good bit of work for a muslim guy and he promised to buy me lunch next time he was at the office I worked in. Eventually the day arrived and he took me off to the pub at lunchtime. The conversation went like this:

 

Muslim Guy: What do you want?

Me : mmm not sure. What you having? 

MG: Just a glass of water

Me: wtf?

MG: It's Ramamamadingdong

 

* thoughts of you tight fisted twat etc run through my mind

 

Me: I'll have a pint

MG: you want something to eat?

Me: Yeah, I'll have the special burger with bacon.

 

* takes seat and engages in chit chat

 

Me: So why is that Muslims don't eat pork?

MG: We don't eat any animal that eats it's own shit.

 

* short pause

 

Me: You ever eaten rabbit?

 

Now I never got an actual answer to that one but his response told me that he clearly had.

 

So clearly the reasons for not eating pork have become lost on at least one of the flock.

 

Like most people of any religion it quickly becomes a religion of convenieince. Strict adherence at all times, except those times were it doesn't suit your lifestyle choices.

 

Well yeah, most people take the bits of religion that they feel like following, mix it in a bit of other cultural and moral standards and off they go.

It's always been like that.

Which makes it slightly stupid when people try to paint all religious folks as narrow-minded ignorant brainwashed cult members who are likely to bomb your children if they are not fucking them because God told them so.  And then also seem to get annoyed when people don't follow a 100% religious creed lifestyle.

[Jose Jones]

Whilst this is my country of residence, I was unaware of this. Had a quick look into it, and its not strictly halal i.e. the animal is stunned first.

 

 

FAQ here.

 

My mate in NZ who told me that, also told me that over half of New Zealand's beef gets sold to McDonalds.  Can you factcheck that one for me as well Trumo?

All the lovely organically free range cows wandering around - chucked straight in the mincer with a bucket of worms and sawdust.  What a waste.

[General Dryness]

My mate in NZ who told me that, also told me that over half of New Zealand's beef gets sold to McDonalds.  Can you factcheck that one for me as well Trumo?

All the lovely organically free range cows wandering around - chucked straight in the mincer with a bucket of worms and sawdust.  What a waste.

 

Google blocked in your country? And I'm not Trumo either.

[Jose Jones]

Google blocked in your country? And I'm not Trumo either.

 

What the fuck was that all about?

It must be a Hudu thing.

Sorry matey.

[General Dryness]

Thats alright fella, it was tongue in cheek but I refuse to use smileys.

[Paulie Dangerously]

I'M SICK OF THESE GODDAMN EXTREME ISLAMUSLIMENTALIST FORCING THEIR BUDDHIST SHI'ITE LAW ON US. BAN THE BERKO

[skend04]

Oy vey! I hope TLW doesn't have an office address anywhere on here, someone's in for some smiting. Or the very least a stoning. By the way pork is a very underrated meat, nothing beats a few rashers of bacon or grilled Spam.

[Spy Bee]

Anyway, it looks like bad news for turkeys!

[Trumo]

No I can't.

[Bjornebye]

Thats alright fella, it was tongue in cheek but I refuse to use smileys.

 

 

 

[Elite]

Give me a greggs sandwich or barm anyday. £3 including a Red bull or lucozade.