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Premier League Round Up (May 11-15 2024)

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So that’s it, everything is settled now. There’s still the formality of playing the final round of fixtures, but we know who has been relegated, we know who will be in the Champions League next year and we know who the Champions will be. Sure, City still need to beat West Ham but we all know how this movie ends.

 

Arsenal fans have almost had the full experience now. The only thing lacking really is for West Ham to take the lead this weekend and give them that one final flicker of hope before City snatch it away from them. Do I feel sorry for Arsenal fans? Not sure. I can certainly empathise with them, but I’m not sure if I sympathise.

 

Did they sympathise with us when we went through it? Did they fuck. Along with the rest of the country they thought City were “saving football”. Learned your lesson on that now though, eh? I didn’t want Arsenal to win the league partly because of that, but mostly because I want others to suffer at the hands of the cheats just as we have. Maybe then more people will get angry about what City have done to this league. Anything that shines a light on what the cunts have done is a good thing, and Arsenal winning it this year would take a lot of the heat of the PL when it comes to punishing City.

 

I can certainly relate to what Arsenal fans are going through and I’m not taking any joy in it whatsoever. Just because I wanted City to win the title doesn’t mean I’m happy about it. I despise City, whereas my only beef with Arsenal is down to a historical rivalry. We’ve had some epic battles with them over the years, some of which we’ve won and some of which they’ve won. It’s a proper football rivalry and I respect Arsenal as a club even if I don’t like them. I’m sure they feel the same way about us, as that’s how it should be. It’s not personal, it’s just a competitive rivalry.

 

So “Arsenal fans” are suffering the same fate we have (twice) and it gives me no pleasure. “Gooners” can fuck off though. Those arrogant social media bellends who had #prayfor(insert their next opponents name here) trending before each game these past few months deserve all they get. The ones who weren’t acting like knobheads though I can fully relate to. We’ve been there. It’s grim.

 

What happened this week really brought back some painful memories. Son missing that sitter against City gave me flashbacks of when that Iheanacho cunt deliberately missed against them in the game when Kompany scored. Son did not miss on purpose, but I can see why Arsenal fans might suspect he did. Iheanacho 100% deliberately missed though and you’ll never convince me otherwise. You can tell by his body shape he’s deliberately shooting wide to ensure the team-mates he left a year earlier won the league. The absolute cunt. Everyone goes on about that Kompany goal, but that's not the thing I'm bitter about. It's that Iheanacho cunt. Arsenal fans will feel the same about Son, albeit that's not really fair.

 

Arsenal having to rely on Spurs was never going to end well though. It’s a sick twist of fate and it wasn’t ideal for Spurs either. Fat Ange and the players definitely wanted to win because they were still chasing fourth spot. The fans will have been torn, but I imagine most wanted them to lose because what’s more important to them - a Champions League spot or laughing at Arsenal for not winning the title? We know how football works.

 

The irony is, Spurs are one of the few teams who regularly stand up to City and take points off them. That’s why I had this fixture circled a while back when we were still in it. Unfortunately by the time it came around we were no longer in it and Spurs were in wretched form. Still, they made life difficult for City and it was 0-0 at half time. City took the lead and then Son missed that great chance to equalise before a late penalty wrapped it up.

 

Some Arsenal fans are convinced that City’s opener was offside. It looks close but it’s hard to tell either way. Did they show the lines or not? I didn’t watch it live, I’ve only seen highlights, so I don’t know. Would be curious to know if they showed the lines or not, because in a game of this magnitude you have to show your workings out otherwise you’ll get this kind of thing, with fans on twitter getting the protractors out and drawing their lines while crying “conspiracy”.

 

I’ve jumped ahead here I know and I’m talking about a midweek game before I’ve even got the weekend out of the way, but it’s the end of the season and I’m just trying to get all this out of the way. I’m not particularly arsed about structure anymore, I’m just free styling here with whatever is in my head. I’ll get to the weekend’s games though, eventually.

 

The title went when Arsenal lost to Villa. As soon as it isn’t in your hands anymore that’s when you’re fucked. You hope that the law of averages means City can’t just keep winning every fucking game, and yet they do. One of the worst things about this time of year is City coming up against a load of teams with nothing to play for who just roll over for them. Arsenal will have not had much hope that Fulham would do anything, but we’ve been there, you still have that little tiny bit of “just maybe, you never know”

 

Except we do know. Teams like Fulham and West Ham who have nothing to play for might put in a big shift against us (or even Arsenal), but they can’t be arsed when it comes to City, and even if they do have a go you know at some point the refs will intervene if things get hairy.

 

In recent weeks City have had some issues in defence with in juries, but to their immense credit they’ve just got on with it with no complaining, simply plugged in their £90m back up left back and he’s responded by scoring five goals (plus winning a penalty) in seven games. He bagged a pair in their 4-0 win at Fulham at the weekend.

 

Noel Gallagher was in the away end and made headlines for not joining in with the Poznan. One the one hand, the Poznan is shit so fair enough. On the other, that’s not why he didn’t do it. He just thinks he’s too cool for school.

 

I’ll just come out and say it. Noel Gallagher might be the worst person on earth. Worse than Putin, worse than Trump, worse than any of the Tories he votes for, worse than anyone in any of the world’s prisons… just the worst person on the planet. I fucking hate him with every fibre of my being. I hate him so much that I don’t have any hate left in my heart for his dickhead brother. Who also hates him by the way.

 

 


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Knowing our luck - and the way PGMOL and football politics works - Wolves will get a couple of outrageous ref/VAR decisions in their favour on Sunday. Hope we score more than enough to offset that happening. 

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Noel Gallagher was in the away end and made headlines for not joining in with the Poznan. One the one hand, the Poznan is shit so fair enough. On the other, that’s not why he didn’t do it. He just thinks he’s too cool for school.

 

Uh, aren't you forgetting someone?

 

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Then again, so was Conor Coady and he might be number two on the list behind Noel Gallagher.

 

No. Carry on.

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No, they didn't show the lines for the potential De Bruyne offside. I was boring everyone who would listen about how long they spent checking our goals against Villa the previous night, only for them to not even bother checking that let alone draw any fucking lines. Dodgy as fuck, but totally unsurprising. 

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