Dubious excuses players and managers use.

[Kevin D]

As some of you may, or may not, have noticed, people in football talk shit.

 

A lot of shit, actually.

 

Especially if they're not playing well, or not winning games, then they crank it up and we hear all manner of rationales.

 

So, this thread is for the shopping list of excuses that you've heard from one or the other, particularly those you wouldn't get away with in a real job.

 

The one that particularly jumps out at me, right now, is when a player's agent or whoever claims they're not playing well, because their down to the last 18 months of their contract. I think that is stupid. However, what really impresses me about this excuse, is that when their club does offer them the contract, they can spend months negotiating, then claim the negotiations themselves are the reason for the downturn in form. That's really impressive, to me.

[Megadrive Man]

The classic Wenger excuse of 'not seeing the incident'

 

It only applies if one of his players does something wrong, yet conveniently he manages to see everything that goes against his team.  

[Dr. J]

"I manage well but the lads play badly", variations on same.

[Dr Nowt]

Specific item this; Ferguson's grey kit brilliance after the 3-1 to Saints at The Dell in the 90's.

 

That one really set the standard for all the runny shite that's been sprayed ever since.

 

They should have a hollowed out statue of him in the toilets of every football club up and down the land, so that the little people can give a bit back to the grandmaster.

[Babb'sBurstNad]

Graham Taylor's excuse about Swedish people being more outdoors types was a special kind of bullshit. It was so dumb it almost transcended parody. He's still getting work as a pundit and continues to make Phil Brown look like Brain of Britain.

[Bjornebye]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5fwFba59lQ

 

This lying cunt 

[Pidge]

Graham Taylor's excuse about Swedish people being more outdoors types was a special kind of bullshit. It was so dumb it almost transcended parody. He's still getting work as a pundit and continues to make Phil Brown look like Brain of Britain.

 

Speaking of which... the master at work:

 

‘I was just saying to your colleague, the referee has got me the sack, thank him ever so much for that, won’t you?’

[Trumo]

"With my 30-something years of experience..."

[Anubis]

Basically anything Tim Sherwood says.

[Fugitive]

David James and his Playstation.

[Torvald Utne]

"I got the ball"

[Dr Nowt]

Houllier's "Fowler was eating grass due to customs in Rigobert Song's homeland."

 

"Did he just fucking say that?"

 

Reminds me of Partridge's "I made a harmless comment about a raindance", apart from being obvious bullshit in the first place.

[Teflon Don]

After a particularly nasty/reckless/career-threatening foul by anyone other than the team's designated 'Cattermole' - "he hasn't gone in to hurt the lad, he's not that type of player".

[Russ Atmosphere]

If you start giving a penalty everytime a defender hauls a player to the ground Geoff...

[Pidge]

*player sees opponent lining up a clear shot at goal*

 

*player throws himself in front of opponent's shot with hands all over the shop*

 

*ball hits hand*

 

*ref gives handball*

 

"Harsh one, there's nothing he could do about that"

 

...fuck off, Townsend.

[Fugitive]

Van Persie: 'She said yes'

Ferdinand: 'I forgot'

Ferguson: 'I shit myself'

[Jairzinho]

What the fuck am I meant to do with this lampshade?

[Teflon Don]

Harry Redknapp: "That money was just resting in my (dog's) account"

[bonesman]

'White liquid in a bottle..

'

[A_S]

These are the explanations from the FA for a number of dubious decisions (not) awarded this season:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And there you have it. Clear as crystal!

[ngogswilly]

"He racially abused me 10 times, no wait it was 5 times, no wait it was 3 times, no wait it was just once. But no one heard it despite us being in a crowded penalty box and none of the dozens of cameras show it. But Giggsy and the boys seen I was upset so it must be true. Also I've no previous of making something like this up at all. No sireeee"

 

Also Ferguson telling the ref the really really bad "N" word was used. Not thats theres a good N word but Ferguson knew what he was at.

 

And the report that followed which was basically an absolute stitch up filled with bollox. 

 

That whole incident was just people talking shit non stop. 

[Boss]

Mourinho's "little horse" bollocks, a little horse that's spent 288 million pound on players in the last three seasons alone. Never have i heard such utter horse shit in all my life.

[Dr Nowt]

If it just hadn't been given, we would have been so much better off, because Cech wasn't the last man and he didn't bring down Baros. The referee has subsequently been very clear on this point.

[Jairzinho]

Mourinho's "little horse" bollocks, a little horse that's spent 288 million pound on players in the last three seasons alone. Never have i heard such utter horse shit in all my life.

 

I liked what Wenger replied with. Something along the lines of "If you pretend you're not in the race you can never lose".

 

Just classic shithouse Shitcoat.

[Trumo]

Not one I've heard from the Ghana manager or the player's themselves, but this idea that Suarez cost Ghana a semi-final place at the last World Cup. He handled the ball on the line and was rightly sent off with a penalty awarded. That Ghana didn't go through is because Gyan fucked up the penalty, and his teammates fucked up in the subsequent shoot-out. Yet every account I've read absolves Gyan and his teammates of any culpability.