The world of a woman.

[Jairzinho]

Andalucian women are stark raving mad. 

 

Absolute fucking nut cases.

 

I just don't even.

[Mook]

Has anyone been able to figure out what "Ken" means yet?

 

It just means 'know' in the East of Scotland.

 

People tend to say it loads as well, if someone says something obvious, I'll just say, "ken." which means, 'I know.'

 

It's funny when you here English & Irish people who have lived here for ages doing it.

[cloggypop]

It just means 'know' in the East of Scotland.

 

People tend to say it loads as well, if someone says something obvious, I'll just say, "ken." which means, 'I know.'

 

It's funny when you here English & Irish people who have lived here for ages doing it.

Bizarrely enough, it means exactly the same in Dutch.

[setreal]

And in German too.

[lifetime fan]

Andalucian women are stark raving mad.

 

Absolute fucking nut cases.

 

I just don't even.

She taken a baseball bat to the waiter this time?

 

You were warned.

[Jairzinho]

She taken a baseball bat to the waiter this time?

 

You were warned.

 

Christ, it wasn't her.

 

She was positively placid in comparison.

[Dougie Do'ins]

My mrs' mate has a 21 year old daughter who is a spoilt bitch. She cannot function independently as an adult. She won't go anywhere alone or travel by public transport. She has her driving theory test in St Helens next Friday but asked her Dad to take an afternoon off work to drive her there and back because she is too thick and lazy to get a bus or train.

 

She gets taxis to work and if she works Saturday makes her Dad give up his lie in to give her a lift into work.

 

She gets given everything on a plate and thinks money grows on trees. Every time she goes out she gets her make up done by a make up artist who comes round to her house because again she is too thick and lazy to do it herself.

 

I'm sure in time to come she'll be a great mother who will cook and clean the house and not palm her kids off at the slightest opportunity.

This girl needs to be introduced the the following words and sentences.

 

No

Fuck off

Do it yourself.

Wake me up on my day off again and I'll throw you down the fucking stairs.

[lifetime fan]

Don't you just love the way that they can change the topic of conversation mid sentence and carry on talking whilst providing you with absolutely zero context regarding this completely unconnected topic.

 

Exhibit A your Honour;

 

 

https://www.imageupload.co.uk/image/BxnB%22%5Dhttps://www.imageupload.co.uk/image/BxnB"]https://www.imageupload.co.uk/image/BxnB"]https://www.imageupload.co.uk/image/BxnB

[Paulie Dangerously]

Don't you just love the way that can change the topic of conversation mid sentence and carry on talking whilst providing you with absolutely zero context regarding this completely unconnected topic.

 

Mine starts a sentence with "and another thing is..." picking up on a brief conversation we'd had about 2 hours earlier

[Ginny]

The best one is - "shall we go out for tea tonight". I won't bother going into detail but I have to mentally prepare myself for that shit.

[Mook]

The best one is - "shall we go out for tea tonight". I won't bother going into detail but I have to mentally prepare myself for that shit.

 

When I hear that one it means I need to prepare my bank account as well.

[lifetime fan]

On the phone to her last night;

 

Me: Your day okay, I've done the kitchen and garden you just need to cook for yourself as I ran out of time.

 

Her: That's okay babe, I'm home now and flat looks great...Oh fuck someone has killed their 3 year old because of post natal depression.

 

Me: The fuck? Who?

 

Her: I don't know. She's just sent me a link from take a break.

 

Me: Hangs up phone!

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

On the phone to her last night;

 

Me: Your day okay, I've done the kitchen and garden you just need to cook for yourself as I ran out of time.

 

Her: That's okay babe, I'm home now and flat looks great...Oh fuck someone has killed their 3 year old because of post natal depression.

 

Me: The fuck? Who?

 

Her: I don't know. She's just sent me a link from take a break.

 

Me: Hangs up phone!

 

These magazines are brutal! "Take a break" my arse. Should be called "COME READ ABOUT HORRENDOUS SHITE TO MAKE YOU A PARANOID ANXIOUS MESS".

[lifetime fan]

When I hear that one it means I need to prepare my bank account as well.

Me: I know you want to be healthy love but I'm ordering a portion of chips. I'm ordering because I want a portion of chips. A whole portion of chips. Not half a portion of chips. I'm more than happy to buy you a portion of chips to go with your salad but please don't ask for any of mine.

 

Her/Actually any woman in the world: I'm being good, why won't you support me to lose weight. You know I don't like my figure, I don't want any of your unhealthy chips.

 

 

Radio silence for 30 minutes...meals come out...

 

 

Her: Oh those chips look good, can I pinch one?

 

Me: Falling Down moment.

[Paulie Dangerously]

These magazines are brutal! "Take a break" my arse. Should be called "COME READ ABOUT HORRENDOUS SHITE TO MAKE YOU A PARANOID ANXIOUS MESS".

 

"My loving husband of 20 years left me for a TRANNIE and here's 10 reasons why yours will too"

[lifetime fan]

These magazines are brutal! "Take a break" my arse. Should be called "COME READ ABOUT HORRENDOUS SHITE TO MAKE YOU A PARANOID ANXIOUS MESS".

Why do they inflict that shit on themselves?

 

 

Only reason I can think of...

 

Is the horrendous headlines they print, followed by cover pics of fucking whales recovering from rape, domestic abuse, divorce etc but then a photo of some model cuddling Gino DiCampo with the latest fad diet that lost her 3 stone whilst drinking lambrini, eating kebabs, smoking 40 a day.

 

All while the most exercise they get is going the McColls in PJ's, slippers and dressing gown to get said above and the chocolate treats for a pound.

[alles ist gut]

"My loving husband of 20 years left me for a TRANNIE and here's 10 reasons why yours will too"

 

Is this thread one of the 10 reasons?

[Ginny]

Me: I know you want to be healthy love but I'm ordering a portion of chips. I'm ordering because I want a portion of chips. A whole portion of chips. Not half a portion of chips. I'm more than happy to buy you a portion of chips to go with your salad but please don't ask for any of mine.

Her/Actually any woman in the world: I'm being good, why won't you support me to lose weight. You know I don't like my figure, I don't want any of your unhealthy chips.

Radio silence for 30 minutes...meals come out...

Her: Oh those chips look good, can I pinch one?

Me: Falling Down moment.

This is exactly what happens to me a lot!

 

This whole support thing they bang on about, the fuck do you want from me a round of applause and me in your corner willing you on like Mickey out of rocky for every god damn thing you decide to do

[lifetime fan]

I lost my rag properly a few months ago.

 

I might have had a few and it ended it up in a blazing argument with me being the nastiest, horribilest cunt in the

World.

 

 

My reply of;

 

"I'm sick to fucking death of being told the woman (and body) of the woman I love, married and find sexually attractive is ugly, disgusting and should be binned.

 

You think you're not? Fine, happy days. Be alone and fucking miserable.

 

I'm off to fuck a woman I find attractive.

[Sputnik1]

For years a mate of mine has been trying to get his life sorted. He knows he drinks too much, he knows he weighs far too much and as he gets older he obviously worries about the health implications, especially when there are serious hereditary conditions he might be at risk of.

 

All he gets every time from his missus is total shit, who's he trying to impress, he's making her feel bad about herself etc. Where's his support? She won't be fucking happy until she's living alone as a widow able to spend his money on her and her cats.

[Harry Squatter]

This girl needs to be introduced the the following words and sentences.

 

No

Fuck off

Do it yourself.

Wake me up on my day off again and I'll throw you down the fucking stairs.

Soft bastards the pair of them. She forgot her dinner so her ma drove to work today with some butties as she was flapping about having nothing to eat.

 

She could have just borrowed some money off a colleague and went the shop but even that was too difficult for her.

[Sputnik1]

[Alan Sex]

"My loving husband of 20 years left me for a TRANNIE and here's 10 reasons why yours will too"

I'm sorry your husband left you, Paulie. Sounds like you might have been too butch for him.

 

You forgot to write the reasons down.

[Barrington Womble]

Don't you just love the way that can change the topic of conversation mid sentence and carry on talking whilst providing you with absolutely zero context regarding this completely unconnected topic.

My missus does that and the opposite. You're talking about something and then 5 mins later in the middle of a conversation and the next thing she's rattling on making no sense. The you realise she's back on a topic of 5 mins ago. "I thought we moved on from that conversation?", "you don't set the rules of talking".

[bigbak]

This is exactly what happens to me a lot!

 

This whole support thing they bang on about, the fuck do you want from me a round of applause and me in your corner willing you on like Mickey out of rocky for every god damn thing you decide to do

 

My misses decided she was going to improve our diet. I stopped getting chips in the evening because of this.

At lunch time she was having a bowl of chips with mayo and ketchup.  In the evening she was stuffing sweets.