The world of a woman.

[Trumo]

We got an e-mail from the daughter of a deceased shareholder today, she'd received the company's Annual Report.

 

"I was wondering if you can help?. I received a package from you recently addressed to my deceased father and myself. This package was an annual report. Can you tell me what this is and what I need to do with it please as do not understand and my father passed 10 years ago."

 

I asked our team to look into it & she was registered as her father's executor in 2008, what a spastic.

 

Also, it's an Annual Report, not a book sent from the fucking future with details of how the World ends or something, just throw it in the bin.

 

What's she been doing with the previous annual reports?

[Mook]

What's she been doing with the previous annual reports?

Fuck knows, maybe she registered herself as the executor and then immediately fell asleep for 8 years.

[Harry Squatter]

He sounds like he's depressed to me, or in the doghouse.

She's a big unit and he's terrified of her.

[Rushies tash]

My missus is sound (a bit airheaded at times but always in a very lovable way and never one for the drama) but her family is something else.

 

This week it's all kicked off because she's supposed to arrange for her older sister's birthday celebration.  The whole extended family is having a reunion that same weekend so in accordance with the birthday girl's wishes she just set it up for all the closer-related adults to go to a Mexican restaurant on the Friday before the reunion begins.

 

She called to invite her brother and his wife and mentioned to them that it was going to be adults-only, no kids (after all, one of the reasons you do your birthday celebration at a Mexican restaurant is so that everyone can have a margarita or two).  Thinking, of course, that this would be a great thing for them as it gives them an excuse to pawn the kids off on the grandparents and have a night out.  Everyone wins, thinks my wife - the kids enjoy their grandparents, grandparents of course love watching the kids, and Mom and Dad get to go out with all the other adults and have an adult bevvie.

 

Nope.  Instead she gets a call a few hours later from the older sister (the one whose birthday it is and whose idea all of this is) saying that the brother and sister-in-law have kicked off about how we don't like being around their children and "if you don't want to be around the girls then you won't be around us."

 

What a ridiculous reason for drama.  Instead of being happy to have a night off from your child-rearing responsibilities, why on earth would you start a fuss?  If you don't want to go, just say so.  Feel sorry for the brother as it's clearly his wife (the sister-in-law) who's gotten offended and he has to go along.

Had exactly the same for my wedding mate. Made it clear from the start that it was adults only, to give people a chance to have a night off from the kids and have a piss up. Except my sister got it into her head that her kids were going to be page boys and flower girls. We politely told her that she could do what she liked if ever she got married, but she kicked off and never bothered coming.

[The Golden Eel]

Got a card through the door yesterday from the health trust, just a name, a phone number and a time of the call, so I looked the number up on the web to find it's the "family resource centre", ie social services. Rang back as soon as I saw it but it had closed at 5pm. Now, I've got a 5-year-old and a pretty crazy ex with a pretty crazy friend, so all manner of shit was going through my head all night, couldn't settle. Rang up first thing this morning and asked for the woman on the card - "Sorry about that, I put it through the wrong door". There's an evening I'll never get back.

 

Disclaimer: this isn't specifically to single her out as a woman, just didn't know where to put this quite fascinating tale of my lost night dreaming up scenarios and possibilities about something that never even happened.

[Mook]

My boss is away to get a shoe fixed, she turns round to me, "I feel like Cinderella with my one shoe."

 

I'm sitting here thinking, 'More like one of the ugly sisters you fat cunt.'

[setreal]

Sexual tension is palpable there

[s(k)aturation]

My boss is away to get a shoe fixed, she turns round to me, "I feel like Cinderella with my one shoe."

 

I'm sitting here thinking, 'More like one of the ugly sisters you fat cunt.'

 

Parenthood going well at least?

[Mook]

Parenthood going well at least?

 

He likes HP sauce & has been trying on my Adidas Milanos today apparently so I think my work there is done, 18 months in too, must be a record.

[TheBitch]

Shades of World of a Man that one

How so?

[s(k)aturation]

He likes HP sauce & has been trying on my Adidas Milanos today apparently so I think my work there is done

 

 

No it's not: Puma, lad, Puma.

[Mook]

No it's not: Puma, lad, Puma.

 

[Champ]

How so?

Are you not the ones famous for not finding stuff and if you're at the house it being some kind of sleight on your manhood to ask someone?

 

Commonly known as 'a man's look' in these parts

[Harry Squatter]

My boss is away to get a shoe fixed, she turns round to me, "I feel like Cinderella with my one shoe."

 

 

I'm sitting here thinking, 'More like one of the ugly sisters you fat cunt.'

Pity you couldn't glass her with one of the slippers. That would shut her up.

[Dougie Do'ins]

My boss is away to get a shoe fixed, she turns round to me, "I feel like Cinderella with my one shoe."

 

I'm sitting here thinking, 'More like one of the ugly sisters you fat cunt.'

So now your her prince charming.

[Champ]

So now your her prince charming.

I'm starting to think you might be after an introduction

[Dougie Do'ins]

I'm starting to think you might be after an introduction

I've already met Mook.

[Chip Butty]

Middle daughter has been telling me, after being asked where she's going in Holland, thats she's going to Iden-Hoven.

Now I used to live in Holland, but I'd never heard of place called Iden-Hoven, so finally before she flew out today, I asked to look at her hotel/flight reservation to make sure I know where she's going, just in case, as you do, as a parent.... 

 

 Eindhoven

[Champ]

I've already met Mook.

Have you ever thought of a career in politics

[alles ist gut]

My boss is away to get a shoe fixed, she turns round to me, "I feel like Cinderella with my one shoe."

 

I'm sitting here thinking, 'More like one of the ugly sisters you fat cunt.'

 

 

So now you're her prince charming.

 

Ridicule is nothing to be scared of...

[TheBitch]

Are you not the ones famous for not finding stuff and if you're at the house it being some kind of sleight on your manhood to ask someone?

 

Commonly known as 'a man's look' in these parts

Absolutely not, I'll find the best looking assistant I can and ask her to point me in the direction of cucumbers.

[Alan Sex]

Absolutely not, I'll find the best looking assistant I can and ask her to point me in the direction of cucumbers.

I prefer to point my cucumber in the direction of the best looking assistant.

[Paulie Dangerously]

 

This car is parked.

 

[Tj hooker]

This car is parked.

 

By Stevie wonder or Ray Charles

[Paulie Dangerously]

By Stevie wonder or Ray Charles

 

You'd hope they'd do a better job.

 

I've done shit part jobs in my time but nothing like that.  Benefit of the doubt to her, it might've been a tight space when she did it but she's clearly gone in forwards and not attempted the parallel parked.  Women!