What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[Curly]

1 hour ago, Captain Turdseye said:

In The Shiraz. Solid GF recommendation. No complaints whatsoever. 
 

 

That looks decent. Very decent. How much was it? As Yorkshire says, weird place for the tomato like

[Curly]

Just rustled this up. Not a full breakfast admittedly, and it’s pretty much lunch time so more brunch, but aside from that you can all fuck off.

 

Depsite being a staunch pro beaner, I’ve realised that they have always given me grief, so I keep them for beans on toast only now. What’s in there is perfect. Absolutely perfect, and anyone who says otherwise is either envious or a cunt.

[YorkshireRed]

24 minutes ago, Curly said:

Just rustled this up. Not a full breakfast admittedly, and it’s pretty much lunch time so more brunch, but aside from that you can all fuck off.

 

Depsite being a staunch pro beaner, I’ve realised that they have always given me grief, so I keep them for beans on toast only now. What’s in there is perfect. Absolutely perfect, and anyone who says otherwise is either envious or a cunt.

That knife looks like it could do some damage.

 

There was a chap, round our way a few decades back, who’d have enjoyed a spot of murdering with that on a quiet evening where the television options were limited.

 

Glad to see you’re using it for more socially acceptable activities.

[Curly]

16 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

That knife looks like it could do some damage.

 

There was a chap, round our way a few decades back, who’d have enjoyed a spot of murdering with that on a quiet evening where the television options were limited.

 

Glad to see you’re using it for more socially acceptable activities.

He probably ordered a breakfast from the same place Fugitive gets them from and it sent him over the edge

[Bob]

39 minutes ago, Curly said:

Just rustled this up. Not a full breakfast admittedly, and it’s pretty much lunch time so more brunch, but aside from that you can all fuck off.

 

Depsite being a staunch pro beaner, I’ve realised that they have always given me grief, so I keep them for beans on toast only now. What’s in there is perfect. Absolutely perfect, and anyone who says otherwise is either envious or a cunt.

Oh believe me, I'm envious, and quite fairly I'm also a cunt, but those eggs are not perfect.

Still would be pleased to eat it.

[Remmie]

39 minutes ago, Curly said:

Just rustled this up. Not a full breakfast admittedly, and it’s pretty much lunch time so more brunch, but aside from that you can all fuck off.

 

Depsite being a staunch pro beaner, I’ve realised that they have always given me grief, so I keep them for beans on toast only now. What’s in there is perfect. Absolutely perfect, and anyone who says otherwise is either envious or a cunt.

What's that on the toast, looks suspiciously like Margarine to me.

Eggs are only supposed to be orange in the yolk.

I've heard of sundried tomatoes but running them under a hair dryer for 2 hours seems bizarre.

Not a fan of potholes in eggs.

I do like a Berocca.

[Curly]

3 minutes ago, Bob said:

but those eggs are not perfect.

 

[Curly]

5 minutes ago, Remmie said:

What's that on the toast, looks suspiciously like Margarine to me.

Eggs are only supposed to be orange in the yolk.

I've heard of sundried tomatoes but running them under a hair dryer for 2 hours seems bizarre.

Not a fan of potholes in eggs.

I do like a Berocca.

It is marge - guilty as charged on that one. But wait for it - I actually prefer it!

 

I did 3 eggs, but one yolk cracked on the way into the pan, so it got fucked off from the main event - I ate it on its own, straight from the pan, just to drive home how disappointed I was in it.

 

The tomatoes were air fried - in fact, the sausages and bacon were too. Bet that’s ruffled a few feathers. Good. I don’t play by the rules. 
 

Potholes in eggs - please see above.

 

That cordial was stronger than I like it, hold my hands up there, but I did add water to it once I’d drank half, so I’m in full agreement with your criticism there.

[Clem H Fandango]

51 minutes ago, Curly said:

Just rustled this up. Not a full breakfast admittedly, and it’s pretty much lunch time so more brunch, but aside from that you can all fuck off.

 

Depsite being a staunch pro beaner, I’ve realised that they have always given me grief, so I keep them for beans on toast only now. What’s in there is perfect. Absolutely perfect, and anyone who says otherwise is either envious or a cunt.

 

That looks shit! sorry.

 

eggs look retarded and the sausages look bulimic. The overdose of tomato makes me cringe. The only good point is the toats which any fucker can cook correctly and the bacon. Hang your head in shame.

[TheHowieLama]

14 minutes ago, Clem H Fandango said:

 

That looks shit! sorry.

 

eggs look retarded and the sausages look bulimic. The overdose of tomato makes me cringe. The only good point is the toats which any fucker can cook correctly and the bacon. Hang your head in shame.

 

Harsh but fair

[TheHowieLama]

2 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

In The Shiraz. Solid GF recommendation. No complaints whatsoever. 
 

 

 

If they didn't float the tomato like a buoy on the beans you would realize they are taking up about 1/3 of the enormous plate that moanero is going to neg.

 

footage of turds-i here w said 2mater

 

 

[Curly]

25 minutes ago, Clem H Fandango said:

 

That looks shit! sorry.

 

eggs look retarded and the sausages look bulimic. The overdose of tomato makes me cringe. The only good point is the toats which any fucker can cook correctly and the bacon. Hang your head in shame.

 

10 minutes ago, TheHowieLama said:

 

Harsh but fair

 

[whtwht]

Do any of you season eggs with salt and pepper??

[Clem H Fandango]

Just now, whtwht said:

Do any of you season eggs.salt and pepper??

Defo pepper.

[Curly]

6 minutes ago, whtwht said:

Do any of you season eggs with salt and pepper??

That’s an extremely private and personal question for such a public forum, you pervert 

[TheHowieLama]

25 minutes ago, whtwht said:

Do any of you season eggs with salt and pepper??

??

 

[YorkshireRed]

28 minutes ago, whtwht said:

Do any of you season eggs with salt and pepper??

I apply both but only lightly. A good egg doesn’t need too much seasoning but I guess that’s down to personal taste. 

[whtwht]

39 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

I apply both but only lightly. A good egg doesn’t need too much seasoning but I guess that’s down to personal taste. 

This is what I do but judging from the pics I've seen on the thread I couldn't tell. Worth a try if you haven't yet.

[tokyojoe]

3 hours ago, Curly said:

Just rustled this up. Not a full breakfast admittedly, and it’s pretty much lunch time so more brunch, but aside from that you can all fuck off.

 

Depsite being a staunch pro beaner, I’ve realised that they have always given me grief, so I keep them for beans on toast only now. What’s in there is perfect. Absolutely perfect, and anyone who says otherwise is either envious or a cunt.

Full marks for doing that yourself. Most importantly, NO FUCKING BEANS!

[Bob]

5 hours ago, whtwht said:

Do any of you season eggs with salt and pepper??

Eggs benefit from salt and tabasco.

[Captain Turdseye]

The day peaked with that breakfast. I’ve sobered up and been rained on. Not even bothering with the Lobster Pot. 

[Curly]

3 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

The day peaked with that breakfast. I’ve sobered up and been rained on. Not even bothering with the Lobster Pot. 

 

[Bjornebye]

[Karl_b]

18 hours ago, Curly said:

It is marge - guilty as charged on that one. But wait for it - I actually prefer it!

 

I did 3 eggs, but one yolk cracked on the way into the pan, so it got fucked off from the main event - I ate it on its own, straight from the pan, just to drive home how disappointed I was in it.

 

The tomatoes were air fried - in fact, the sausages and bacon were too. Bet that’s ruffled a few feathers. Good. I don’t play by the rules. 
 

Potholes in eggs - please see above.

 

That cordial was stronger than I like it, hold my hands up there, but I did add water to it once I’d drank half, so I’m in full agreement with your criticism there.

 

You sick fuck, negged.

[Mudface]

20 hours ago, Curly said:

Just rustled this up. Not a full breakfast admittedly, and it’s pretty much lunch time so more brunch, but aside from that you can all fuck off.

 

Depsite being a staunch pro beaner, I’ve realised that they have always given me grief, so I keep them for beans on toast only now. What’s in there is perfect. Absolutely perfect, and anyone who says otherwise is either envious or a cunt.

 

The sausages look like a drowning victim's fingers.