Poo Updates

[Bjornebye]

Not for Champ at meal-time

 

 

 

Im half way through a post bangers and mash shit. Ive locked the door, got the tap running and had to flush twice already because of the smell. Its a ball aching shit, a right depressing one. I just want to lie on the floor after this and reflect.

 

Thanks for listening.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Pony Princess]

My guts are perfect right now.  Diet is good, not drinking beer or cider, just red wine and whiskey.  Had loads of lentils, spinach and other roughage this week.  Every visit to the thunderbox is a pleasure, a slight squeeze and it just pops out much like childbirth.

 

A mate of mine has a terrible diet and he says sometimes he spends about an hour on the bog at a time.  I've told him loads of times to sort his diet out and if he's gonna eat meat for every meal, at least add some veg in there.

 

Is it weird talking about shitting?  I think not and since all of us do it, we've at least got something in common.  

 

Think about it.  During a war, a bad war like WW1 or 2.. every combatant in it shits.  We all shit.  Modern wars are a bit trickier because you have drones and they don't shit.

[General Dryness]

Thats why the machines will win eventually.

[Pony Princess]

Thats why the machines will win eventually.

 

Makes me think of that scene in Band of Brothers Pacific where the guy nearly gets bayonetted in the arse while taking a shit in a cave.  Imagine how many brave men died taking a shit.

 

Then came the machines.

[Bjornebye]

Terminator wouldn't have been the same if Arnie stopped chasing Sarah Connor to have a quick turn-out by the bins. It would have made the whole thing a bit too slapstick. 

[Fugitive]

The official shit thread.

 

http://www.liverpoolway.co.uk/index.php?/topic/55973-poosflash/

[General Dryness]

Terminator wouldn't have been the same if Arnie stopped chasing Sarah Connor to have a quick turn-out by the bins. It would have made the whole thing a bit too slapstick. 

 

Would have been better if she'd stopped to have one.

 

In a world where Alan Sex was a film director, thats how it would have been.

[Pony Princess]

Would have been better if she'd stopped to have one.

 

In a world where Alan Sex was a film director, thats how it would have been.

 

Close up shot on her puckering ring just before it emerges.  In IMAX 3D.  Glorious.

[Bjornebye]

Would have been better if she'd stopped to have one.

 

In a world where Alan Sex was a film director, thats how it would have been.

 

hahahaha yes 

 

 

ok fugitive fucking forum police. fair enough 

[Trumo]

Im half way through a post bangers and mash shit. Ive locked the door, got the tap running and had to flush twice already because of the smell. Its a ball aching shit, a right depressing one. I just want to lie on the floor after this and reflect.

 

Thanks for listening.

 

 

Don't you normally do that?

 

Anyway, shove the loo roll holder up your arse. All of a sudden, your ball-ache, the stench and the need to flush repeatedly will be of no concern any more. Keep the tap running to wash your hands though. Unless you're one of those dirty cunts who avoid such things.

[Fugitive]

It's a Tom Ross shit thread. It's can't be topped.

[General Dryness]

Close up shot on her puckering ring just before it emerges.  In IMAX 3D.  Glorious.

 

It would be fucking Judgment Day alright.

[stringvest]

Not for Champ at meal-time

 

 

 

Im half way through a post bangers and mash shit. Ive locked the door, got the tap running and had to flush twice already because of the smell. Its a ball aching shit, a right depressing one. I just want to lie on the floor after this and reflect.

 

Thanks for listening.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Is your floor shiny then Stig?

[stringvest]

I'm off to the pub. Doom Bar beckons. Highly relevant to this thread.

[Bjornebye]

Is your floor shiny then Stig?

 

Get the pub soft arse 

[Adebisi]

Had one a while back that was roughly the size of a pringles can. In length and width. I took pictures of it and sent it to a few matey peeps. They were most impressed.

Come Halloween I ask this lass if she would take a picture of me and my mate. Sure enough the cheeky mare goes through my pictures and stumbles across this picture of my dump, screams and tells me I'm disgusting. Luckily I was yellow (went as Ned Flanders) so no one could tell I was highly embarrassed and I laughed it off while everyone else cheered. Having a picture of your shit passed around a pub isn't really that cool though, I played it cool, but inside I was dying and swore never to take a poop picture again. 

[Pony Princess]

Had one a while back that was roughly the size of a pringles can. In length and width. I took pictures of it and sent it to a few matey peeps. They were most impressed.

 

Come Halloween I ask this lass if she would take a picture of me and my mate. Sure enough the cheeky mare goes through my pictures and stumbles across this picture of my dump, screams and tells me I'm disgusting. Luckily I was yellow (went as Ned Flanders) so no one could tell I was highly embarrassed and I laughed it off while everyone else cheered. Having a picture of your shit passed around a pub isn't really that cool though, I played it cool, but inside I was dying and swore never to take a poop picture again. 

 

To be fair that sounds like one hell of a shit.  You gotta really commit some time into having the balanced diet of fibre and meat to be able to lay out a cable of that caliber.  A shit which is so long it is touching the porcelain but still emerging from your arse.

 

Kudos lid.

[Trumo]

Had one a while back that was roughly the size of a pringles can. In length and width. I took pictures of it and sent it to a few matey peeps. They were most impressed.

 

Come Halloween I ask this lass if she would take a picture of me and my mate. Sure enough the cheeky mare goes through my pictures and stumbles across this picture of my dump, screams and tells me I'm disgusting. Luckily I was yellow (went as Ned Flanders) so no one could tell I was highly embarrassed and I laughed it off while everyone else cheered. Having a picture of your shit passed around a pub isn't really that cool though, I played it cool, but inside I was dying and swore never to take a poop picture again. 

 

 

To be fair that sounds like one hell of a shit.  You gotta really commit some time into having the balanced diet of fibre and meat to be able to lay out a cable of that caliber.  A shit which is so long it is touching the porcelain but still emerging from your arse.

 

Kudos lid.

 

Guess it's true what they say - once you pop, you can't stop.

[Elite]

My diet is awful at the minute and my shits are sticky, smelly and quite hostile. A person with a bad diet uses 3 times as much bog roll.

[Adebisi]

To be fair that sounds like one hell of a shit.  You gotta really commit some time into having the balanced diet of fibre and meat to be able to lay out a cable of that caliber.  A shit which is so long it is touching the porcelain but still emerging from your arse.

 

Kudos lid.

My diet isn't that great, it was a hell of a lot better before uni, but I still try to get my fair share of veg and wholegrains. You can't beat a one wiper. 

I still like to sit on the bog for a good ten minutes mind. Check twitter, my emails, see what's not on tele. If there's one thing I hate it's having to have a quick shit. 

[mattyq]

My diet isn't that great, it was a hell of a lot better before uni, but I still try to get my fair share of veg and wholegrains. You can't beat a one wiper. 

I still like to sit on the bog for a good ten minutes mind. Check twitter, my emails, see what's not on tele. If there's one thing I hate it's having to have a quick shit. 

 

The official term for this is a Royale

[Bjornebye]

The official term for this is a Royale

 

I'm delighted with this term. 

[Alan Sex]

The official term for this is a Royale

Much better than when the paper rips on the first sticky wipe.

 

[Pony Princess]

The official term for this is a Royale

I always called that a 'Hollywood ending'

[Bjornebye]