little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Kevin D]

Microsoft Teams’s generally, but specifically when you’ve muted someone and they can still send you messages or add you to groups.

[Mook]

Those wee nuts they put in the rice of oven curries.

 

People wearing headphones and stotting about the middle of the pavement with no idea that there might be other people in the World who walk faster than them.

 

People who phone you about an e-mail they've just sent you.

[Mudface]

1 hour ago, Kevin D said:

Microsoft Teams’s generally, but specifically when you’ve muted someone and they can still send you messages or add you to groups.

 

We've had a couple of projects where some busy cunts on the customer side have wanted a 'project' Teams channel. So instead of their generally inane and insane requests getting filtered out by our PMs, they come straight to us and we have to deal with their bullshit. Hate the fucking thing with a passion.

[manwiththestick]

Smelly Bastards.

 

I'm working in the office today, it's a relatively new job so I don't know everyone in the building yet however Friday's are pretty quite as way have a work from home option so Friday tends to be the popular choice.

 

I went to the toilet about 9am as I needed a dump, the toilet has two cubicle however one of them has a dodgy seat so I go in the other. Fuck me, whatever cunt had been in there before me needs medical attention, not because he'd had a bad shite, not at all but the remaments of a stench he'd left behind was absolutely rancid, I'm talking eye-watering, baulking level of sweaty BO. It would have smelt better if Piltdown Man had awoken from his slumber and spent a day in there.

 

I had to walk straight back out, just hope nobody seen my leave and then went it. I went back just now and it was still hanging so used the downstairs toilet instead.

 

Jesus, some people. 

[Captain Turdseye]

My ten year old has started making tea and coffee. I swear she must get a spoonful of sugar, take three steps back and then launch it somewhere in the direction of the cups. 

[Creator Supreme]

16 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

My ten year old has started making tea and coffee. I swear she must get a spoonful of sugar, take three steps back and then launch it somewhere in the direction of the cups. 

Ah bless her for trying, she'll get it eventually, it's probably nerves in case she makes a mistake.

[Captain Turdseye]

2 minutes ago, Creator Supreme said:

Ah bless her for trying, she'll get it eventually, it's probably nerves in case she makes a mistake.

No, mate. She’s genuinely just not arsed. These things magically clean themselves up, you see. 

[sir roger]

14 hours up chimneys and you are expecting cups of tea as well ?

[Creator Supreme]

21 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

No, mate. She’s genuinely just not arsed. These things magically clean themselves up, you see. 

Ah, I've got 3 like that.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

On 29/11/2023 at 17:32, Mook said:

Those wee nuts they put in the rice of oven curries.

 

People wearing headphones and stotting about the middle of the pavement with no idea that there might be other people in the World who walk faster than them.

 

People who phone you about an e-mail they've just sent you.

 

Spot on, what's your number mate I had a something else I wanted to say about this.

[Harry's Lad]

3 hours ago, Creator Supreme said:

Ah, I've got 3 like that.

My lad's like that.

He's 38.

[Captain Turdseye]

I had a tiny little bit of broken skin on my wrist from where my watch has been rubbing on it. Like a twat I started itching it when I wasn’t wearing the watch and now I’ve made it worse.  

It’s nothing major but it’s definitely a little thing that’s annoying the shit out of me. 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

My lad is 18 and has never even once made me a drink.

[Bjornebye]

2 hours ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

My lad is 18 and has never even once made me a drink.

 

He's a genuine legend. The best bit of advice I ever got was joining HMS Iron Duke off a boat in the North Sea just away from Edinburgh, my boss was a scouser and as soon as I got on he said I'll be asked to make the 'wets' because I'm the new lad in the mess so first time you do them make sure I take the teabag out right away and put milk in first, they won't ask again. 

 

 

Yes tea bagging bumming in the Navy etc before anyone starts. 

 

[A Red]

Writing Christmas cards. I fucking hate it.....looking up addresses, trying to remember their kids names, putting them in envelopes, searching about for stamps then finding fucking post boxes.

 

Wrapping presents? Fuck

[manwiththestick]

6 minutes ago, A Red said:

Writing Christmas cards. I fucking hate it.....looking up addresses, trying to remember their kids names, putting them in envelopes, searching about for stamps then finding fucking post boxes.

 

Wrapping presents? Fuck

Writing Christmas cards? Cards that you're posting?

 

Fuck that off, where are you living, the 1970's?

[Creator Supreme]

Fuck Christmas into the bin, the whole shitebox of it.

[Harry's Lad]

58 minutes ago, A Red said:

Writing Christmas cards. I fucking hate it.....looking up addresses, trying to remember their kids names, putting them in envelopes, searching about for stamps then finding fucking post boxes.

 

Wrapping presents? Fuck

I've got a wife for that.

[A Red]

4 minutes ago, Harry's Lad said:

I've got a wife for that.

I live in a modern age and have a non misogynist outlook on life. Who is to say its women's work?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She told me to fuck off and that my sole contribution to Christmas by writing 6 cards wouldn't kill me

[Harry's Lad]

3 minutes ago, A Red said:

I live in a modern age and have a non misogynist outlook on life. Who is to say its women's work?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She told me to fuck off and that my sole contribution to Christmas by writing 6 cards wouldn't kill me

She loves all that Christmas malarkey. I don't so I let her crack on with it.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

I don't think my bird has had a single day in her life when she hasn't been Sick, do they just wake up and pick what ailments they're having for the day or what,, how does that bit work ??

[Bobby Hundreds]

Celebrity antique Road trip. In spite of getting massive discounts because its on TV these experts usually make fuck all apart from the Scottish guy who must have people bid for him. On it now is an expert called Charles Hanson who definitely went bargain hunting when searching for the bizarre fucking toupee he has attached to the front of his head, no matter what he paid he lost as does every fucker that has to witness his wearing of it.

 

If people want to go down the wig route at least make an effort.

[sir roger]

I went to church with my cousin when we were in our teens, and an old bloke with the worst ginger wig I have ever seen was in the row in front. Every time he knelt down it pitched forward and then came back to rest once he sat back up. I ended up biting about half an inch into my thumb to stop myself laughing out loud.

[Bjornebye]

5 minutes ago, sir roger said:

I went to church with my cousin when we were in our teens, and an old bloke with the worst ginger wig I have ever seen was in the row in front. Every time he knelt down it pitched forward and then came back to rest once he sat back up. I ended up biting about half an inch into my thumb to stop myself laughing out loud.

 

Were you Holding Back the Tears? 

[Bjornebye]

Going through the kingsway tunnel just as the questions are about to start on popmaster all because she wanted to pick up some candelabras she found on facey marketplace