little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Mudface]

7 minutes ago, manwiththestick said:

Don't forget your spade and bag of lime.

 

I've got people to do that.

[Bjornebye]

Just now, Captain Willard said:

Strong Gaffer tape and WD40. Not many problems in the world that can’t be solved by these 2 products. 

I fucking knew it 

[Captain Turdseye]

12 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Can't agree with this. A hammer, one medium phillips screwdriver a set of alan keys and a kitchen knife is all a real man needs. 

You definitely need an electric drill these days. And a set of spanners as well. 
 

I have none of these things and I’m shit at DIY. Luckily her dad lives 30 seconds away and has all kinds of real man stuff in his shed. 

[Elite]

Those sneaky twats that make alcohol gift sets. They make the bottles look standard 330ml size in the packaging but the bottles are only 275ml. Twats.

[sir roger]

5 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

You definitely need an electric drill these days. And a set of spanners as well. 
 

I have none of these things and I’m shit at DIY. Luckily her dad lives 30 seconds away and has all kinds of real man stuff in his shed. 

 

I'm lethal on Amazon,  so I have ' All the gear, no idea '.as they say.

[Karl_b]

9 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

Strong Gaffer tape and WD40. Not many problems in the world that can’t be solved by these 2 products. 

 

 

[Furmedge]

Text from work today, 'Sorry to bother you on your day off.....'  No, No you're not.  Fuck off, I've booked the day off so I haven't got to worry about anyone's shit for an extra day, so fucking do one.

[Captain Turdseye]

Lads going in the boozer to play pool with snooker cues. What the fuck’s that all about?
 

I’ve got a cue, got it from my boy as a gift and I’ve since returned the favour. I reckon mine cost him maybe £40-£50. I paid £60 for his one this Christmas. 
 

We go in to play snooker, don’t usually have a problem booking a table, but the one pool table in there is always heaving. There’s lads in there with four or five piece cues, £200 jobs at least, proper smart, but you don’t need a snooker cue to play pool… If anything, a snooker cue is more of a hindrance.
 

Usually the best player in any pub is playing with the pub’s own battered, chipped, old school, house pool cue. 
 

Blows my mind. “Look how expensive my piece of wood is compared to yours”

 

You’re playing pool, you tit. 

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Lads going in the boozer to play pool with snooker cues. What the fuck’s that all about?
 

I’ve got a cue, got it from my boy as a gift and I’ve since returned the favour. I reckon mine cost him maybe £40-£50. I paid £60 for his one this Christmas. 
 

We go in to play snooker, don’t usually have a problem booking a table, but the one pool table in there is always heaving. There’s lads in there with four or five piece cues, £200 jobs at least, proper smart, but you don’t need a snooker cue to play pool… If anything, a snooker cue is more of a hindrance.
 

Usually the best player in any pub is playing with the pub’s own battered, chipped, old school, house pool cue. 
 

Blows my mind. “Look how expensive my piece of wood is compared to yours”

 

You’re playing pool, you tit. 

It’s the one in the flip flops with the rifle you need to be worried about 

[Preston Red]

8 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Lads going in the boozer to play pool with snooker cues. What the fuck’s that all about?
 

I’ve got a cue, got it from my boy as a gift and I’ve since returned the favour. I reckon mine cost him maybe £40-£50. I paid £60 for his one this Christmas. 
 

We go in to play snooker, don’t usually have a problem booking a table, but the one pool table in there is always heaving. There’s lads in there with four or five piece cues, £200 jobs at least, proper smart, but you don’t need a snooker cue to play pool… If anything, a snooker cue is more of a hindrance.
 

Usually the best player in any pub is playing with the pub’s own battered, chipped, old school, house pool cue. 
 

Blows my mind. “Look how expensive my piece of wood is compared to yours”

 

You’re playing pool, you tit. 

Loudmouth gobshites in the snooker clubs boil my piss along with the fuckers with day of The Jackal style cues playing pool.

 

Me and the Mrs were having a game of snooker before Christmas and in strolls 8 noisy twats who proceeded to take up 2 tables and shout all the way through their 2 hours. Usually getting louder after a trip to the toilets for a "Columbian livener". The rest of the place is full of people enjoying a game of snooker and chatting amongst themselves, but having that peace broken up by shitheads shouting about going out, drinking, who is hitting a shit shot or shagging "birds". 

[Karl_b]

People parking cars on pavements when it's completely unnecessary, thus hindering anyone who might want to, outrageously, walk on the pavement. It's absolutely endemic and even occuring outside our daughter's nursery; I appear to be the only person who walks to the place. It's fine though because it's not like I need room for a pram, or to also walk the dog, or to get in to the grounds safely. Selfish pricks.

 

I'm genuinely thinking of getting some "paths are for people" stickers made up to start sticking on windscreens.

[VladimirIlyich]

19 minutes ago, Karl_b said:

People parking cars on pavements when it's completely unnecessary, thus hindering anyone who might want to, outrageously, walk on the pavement. It's absolutely endemic and even occuring outside our daughter's nursery; I appear to be the only person who walks to the place. It's fine though because it's not like I need room for a pram, or to also walk the dog, or to get in to the grounds safely. Selfish pricks.

 

I'm genuinely thinking of getting some "paths are for people" stickers made up to start sticking on windscreens.

While I completely agree with you the problem is another one where the rulers have managed to pit people against each other because there are far too many cars on the road. I say this as a regular driver and car owner too. I can't recommend the youtuber 'Not Just Bikes' and a few more of the urban planning ilk who show genuine alternatives to these problems.

I wonder if car manufacturers sponsor and lobby our politicians?

[Creator Supreme]

8 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

While I completely agree with you the problem is another one where the rulers have managed to pit people against each other because there are far too many cars on the road. I say this as a regular driver and car owner too. I can't recommend the youtuber 'Not Just Bikes' and a few more of the urban planning ilk who show genuine alternatives to these problems.

I wonder if car manufacturers sponsor and lobby our politicians?

A part of this is the reduction in the number of schools (primary and secondary) which means that a lot of people now have to take their kids further to school, hence the increase in car use for the school run.

[Harry's Lad]

32 minutes ago, Creator Supreme said:

A part of this is the reduction in the number of schools (primary and secondary) which means that a lot of people now have to take their kids further to school, hence the increase in car use for the school run.

There's a woman who takes her kids to school and collects them in her car at the school where my Mrs works.

She lives about 500 yards away from the school in the same street.

 

[Creator Supreme]

11 minutes ago, Harry's Lad said:

There's a woman who takes her kids to school and collects them in her car at the school where my Mrs works.

She lives about 500 yards away from the school in the same street.

 

Well she's undoubtedly a lazy cunt mate. I'm referring to the situation such as I've had where the nearest secondary school is 3 and a half miles away.

 

When the kids were in primary the school was 3/4 of a mile away and 99 times out of a hundred we walked it.

[Harry's Lad]

25 minutes ago, Creator Supreme said:

Well she's undoubtedly a lazy cunt mate. I'm referring to the situation such as I've had where the nearest secondary school is 3 and a half miles away.

 

When the kids were in primary the school was 3/4 of a mile away and 99 times out of a hundred we walked it.

I agree with you mate, we were the same with the kids in primary. My Mrs worked there at the time so they walked with her.

 

Secondary was different as it was out of the way and not in a residential area with a lonely walk through woodland over a small bridge over a shallow river.

 There are two schools right next to each other, one C of E and one Catholic.

 

Suffice to say there was a lot of bullying there with kids often getting pushed in.

 

Neither school had bullying problem of course.

 

 

[Captain Turdseye]

2 hours ago, Preston Red said:

Loudmouth gobshites in the snooker clubs boil my piss along with the fuckers with day of The Jackal style cues playing pool.

 

Me and the Mrs were having a game of snooker before Christmas and in strolls 8 noisy twats who proceeded to take up 2 tables and shout all the way through their 2 hours. Usually getting louder after a trip to the toilets for a "Columbian livener". The rest of the place is full of people enjoying a game of snooker and chatting amongst themselves, but having that peace broken up by shitheads shouting about going out, drinking, who is hitting a shit shot or shagging "birds". 

Never understood that. Cocaine and snooker is a shit combination. Tried it once myself. A proper waste of gear, that is. 
 

Top marks for finding a woman who likes playing though!

[Preston Red]

47 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Never understood that. Cocaine and snooker is a shit combination. Tried it once myself. A proper waste of gear, that is. 
 

Top marks for finding a woman who likes playing though!

Cheers, man. I just wish she would be as receptive of me actually doing my other hobbies and not having to watch boxset after boxset because someone at her work says she has to watch it.

 

Must admit, I've never tried cocaine; drugs in general now don't appeal to me, along with having a job in the defence sector it'd be viewed in a very dim light with having full SC. Going in pubs where young lads are often in groups, you can spot the cokeheads a mile off. Nowt wrong with others having a blast, just not my cup of tea since my cousin died from an overdose.

[sir roger]

1 hour ago, Preston Red said:

Cheers, man. I just wish she would be as receptive of me actually doing my other hobbies and not having to watch boxset after boxset because someone at her work says she has to watch it.

 

To be fair, dogging isn't for everybody,,  PR.

[sir roger]

4 hours ago, Karl_b said:

People parking cars on pavements when it's completely unnecessary, thus hindering anyone who might want to, outrageously, walk on the pavement. It's absolutely endemic and even occuring outside our daughter's nursery; I appear to be the only person who walks to the place. It's fine though because it's not like I need room for a pram, or to also walk the dog, or to get in to the grounds safely. Selfish pricks.

 

I'm genuinely thinking of getting some "paths are for people" stickers made up to start sticking on windscreens.

 

Got home last night and somebody had parked across the end of our driveway so we had to park quite a way away. The wife was fuming and wrote out a big missive on A4 paper to stick to the windscreen. Was gutted when the car had gone by the time we got there, after spending 10 minutes researching the nearest KFC location.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

5 hours ago, Preston Red said:

Loudmouth gobshites in the snooker clubs boil my piss along with the fuckers with day of The Jackal style cues playing pool.

 

Me and the Mrs were having a game of snooker before Christmas and in strolls 8 noisy twats who proceeded to take up 2 tables and shout all the way through their 2 hours. Usually getting louder after a trip to the toilets for a "Columbian livener". The rest of the place is full of people enjoying a game of snooker and chatting amongst themselves, but having that peace broken up by shitheads shouting about going out, drinking, who is hitting a shit shot or shagging "birds". 

 

 

Playing a frame of snooker with the Mrs ?? what did you for the ten hours after they left ?

[Elite]

14 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Lads going in the boozer to play pool with snooker cues. What the fuck’s that all about?
 

I’ve got a cue, got it from my boy as a gift and I’ve since returned the favour. I reckon mine cost him maybe £40-£50. I paid £60 for his one this Christmas. 
 

We go in to play snooker, don’t usually have a problem booking a table, but the one pool table in there is always heaving. There’s lads in there with four or five piece cues, £200 jobs at least, proper smart, but you don’t need a snooker cue to play pool… If anything, a snooker cue is more of a hindrance.
 

Usually the best player in any pub is playing with the pub’s own battered, chipped, old school, house pool cue. 
 

Blows my mind. “Look how expensive my piece of wood is compared to yours”

 

You’re playing pool, you tit. 

I've played a fella with only one arm and he beat me. None of this chin on the cue bollocks, just piston like action straight from the shoulder. I'm not terrible either, I usually 7 ball people with missing limbs.

[Preston Red]

1 hour ago, sir roger said:

 

To be fair, dogging isn't for everybody,,  PR.

This is true. Watching me in action really isn't a spectators sport

[Preston Red]

1 hour ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

 

 

Playing a frame of snooker with the Mrs ?? what did you for the ten hours after they left ?

Hahahahaha, usually waiting for her to decide which ball she wanted pot and then waiting for her to decide which drink she wanted and then which flavour crisps she wanted.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Meat served from a brief case.