Depression

[YorkshireRed]

8 hours ago, Creator Supreme said:

Another fucking horrendous weekend!

 

Saturday night, we headed jnto Southport to see the fireworks championships.

 

Ended up with my 16 year old daughter walking off after an argument with my 17 year old son.

 

She went missing for about an hour, wouldn't text back or answer her phone. Eventually turned up back at the car.

 

They then argued in the car, I couldn't cope anymore, stopped the car and walked away myself. Only my 11 year old pleading with me to come back led to me going home with them. I was tempted to just keep walking north and see where I ended up!

 

Today, I've mostly slept, barely eaten or drank anything. I was tempted to starve myself to death, but I'm a big shithouse and couldn't go through with it.

 

Haven't even showered or changed clothes. Can't be doing with work in the morning, but I've no choice.

 

Even had to get my sister to sort my mum and dad's tea out when it was my turn.

 

Now only the dog and my youngest will have anything to do with me. I don't blame my missus, she has enough on her plate without my shit.

 

I can't cope anymore, if I was religious I'd be praying for a Stroke or something. It just seems fucking pointless even trying to carry on.

It’s been said mate but, you need some help. I know it can be really difficult to find it within yourself to make an appointment to see a GP, and then find the words when you get there, but it’s a step worth taking. Even if it just makes you feel a little better for taking that step. I know you’ve done it before, sometimes that makes it even harder. It’s what they’re there for though. Work with them to try to find the medication/therapy balance that works for you. 
 

If you’re not ready to do that yet, then try and take some little steps for yourself that, over time, will move you closer to that one. Remember not everything will work, or maybe feel like it’s working, but, maybe without even realising it, the fact that you’re taking control will start to help. Don’t beat yourself if you have a bad week, day, hour, minute, moment, just accept it as a bump in the road and move past it. 
 

I don’t know what little steps will work for you. If posting on here is one of them, then keep doing it. We are with you. 
 

Exercise can do wonders, even if it’s a short stroll in a park, or a bit of woodland. I’ve learned to appreciate all that brings later in life but nature really is ‘on your team’ when it comes to things like depression and anxiety. Try it, not just by physically being there, be completely there.

 

Of course talking will help, hard that though may be. Start by talking to the dog, if you don’t already. They make good listeners. I speak dog and I know he/she wants you to share. 
 

You have worth. Know it. Faceless internet muppets like us, think you’re worth replying to on a forum. Your family and friends know it even more so. Much of what you describe, in the nicest possible way, is just noise. If they knew you felt that way you do, then being there for you would be all that matters. Don’t decide for them what they think, or what they’d want. Let them in. 
 

I hope in time we see you posting on here, offering advice to those who are struggling, and sharing your experiences of coming through this horrible illness, or at least learning to manage it. You will be able to help/support a good few I reckon. 
 

One day at a time CS, one day at a time.

[Elite]

To be honest, it sounds like a stimulus thing to me. You are being overwhelmed with what sounds like a hectic family life, which you aren't coping with. I struggle with this myself mate, so there's no shame in it. You definitely need something that gives you some quiet time and peace to process things.

[Anubis]

Hi CS.

 

Can I suggest taking a step back from the political threads on the forum, news and Twitter. What’s happening out there can get you down and that feeds into issues you may be having with family arguments.

 

You invest a lot into what is happening externally and it clearly upsets you a great deal because you care.
 

Maybe a step away from that will give your brain a chance to concentrate on more positive things - relaxing music, read a book (fiction not reality!), go for a walk in the park, or throw yourself into a hobby. When I find things getting on top of me I head to that section of the waterfront between the city and Otterspool and just sit on the bench, eyes closed, and listen to the sounds of the water and sea birds. Calms me right down. Even the noise of the traffic going past.

[Kepler-186]

CS I echo what the lads are saying. 
 

Don’t know if you’ve heard of Sean’s Place? It’s aimed directly at men and their mental health. 
 

https://seansplace.org.uk/
 

Even if it’s an opportunity to download a bit at first and talk to someone neutral and try and take stock. 
 

Take it easy, mate. 

[Section_31]

1 hour ago, Elite said:

To be honest, it sounds like a stimulus thing to me. You are being overwhelmed with what sounds like a hectic family life, which you aren't coping with. I struggle with this myself mate, so there's no shame in it. You definitely need something that gives you some quiet time and peace to process things.

Yep. 

 

It's burn out, sometimes life just gets on top of you and it's hard to see where to turn.

 

If there's anyone who can step in and help a bit that'd be ideal, but definitely a GP needs to be contacted at the very least.

 

Life will get better. We're coming off the back of a wacky as fuck few years and it's probably catching up on everyone in one way or the other, but things will get better.

[s(k)aturation]

1 hour ago, Section_31 said:

Life will get better. We're coming off the back of a wacky as fuck few years and it's probably catching up on everyone in one way or the other, but things will get better.

 

Couldn't agree more.

 

I think the number one issue for humanity after this pandemic thing is mental health.

 

I feel it.  My kids feel it.  My parents feel it.  My friends feel it.

 

I find a simple pleasure like a trip to the pub to have a beer with a mate weird nowadays.  

 

They crap on, in the working world, about "The great resignation".

 

It it any wonder people are reluctant to work, or do anything for that matter.

 

Incarcerated in our own homes, on and off (mainly on, in Melbourne), for the better part of two years.

 

Our kids being told by our governments that going to school was not a good idea.

 

No1 daily news item for 18 months was a death toll.

 

This could very well be the world's second Great Depression - but this one is not about the economy or Wall St.

 

We might be at the tail end of the pandemic physically, but we are still on the way down mentally.

 

I want to "keep walking North" at times, just like @Creator Supreme.  (And yes, get in touch with the GP, mate.)

 

Maybe there's a ray of comfort for all us in that great line from Message in a Bottle:

 

Seems I'm not alone in being alone.

 

 

 

[Section_31]

I know it's not easy to do, but there's something to be said about trying to find your own space. Be it a shed, an allotment, going fishing, going swimming, something like that. A time in the week, even for an hour or two, where you turn your phone off and your space is totally yours.

 

I can relate to how CS is feeling here. I remember years ago when my mum was in a bad way, my family were actively making her worse and I was trying to keep her afloat. I'd drive home from work and my head would be pounding thinking about going back there. There's something about feeling that there's 'no escape' from the stress that makes you feel worse, even if it's not 'massive' stress in itself, it's the idea that you can't avoid it, or there's nowhere to go. Eventually you pop and instead of finding those small moments of 'you'  time,  you  blow big and start fantasizing about stealing a boat and sailing away. That's your mind's way of trying to protect you.

 

There are ways of putting yourself first without it being a selfish act.

 

Try and find something - a time and a place in the week that's only for you.

 

Take small steps.

 

Know for a fact that things WILL get better. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Captain Willard]

For me it’s anxiety not depression. I’m the sole earner on a household of 5 plus 2 older kids and I work in a world of relentless performance measurement, league tables etc. Modern technology also means it’s a 16 hour a day job of e mails, texts etc so you never stop thinking about work.  
I find having my own space on the allotments helps. Digging ponds, growing dahlias, watching the seasons. It’s a refuge from thinking about other peoples money all day and half the night.  

 

[Creator Supreme]

The stress my parents are putting me under isn't helping, especially my dad.

 

My mum has carers coming in 4 times a day, the last time they put her to bed. He's flapping that the carers won't be able to get her to bed. That's their fucking job. So I'm stuck here now until the carer comes, and I've no doubt that the carer will say they don't need my help, just like they do every fucking time.

 

I know he's old, and he's frail and he's scared, but fuck me he makes things tougher than they need to be!

[Champ]

That ‘just about getting your kids towards independence and then your parents start causing you stress’ feeling? And on that you are not alone either. 
It kinda shows you’re a decent person too

[Guest]

 

[Oh Buoy]

On 26/09/2022 at 12:02, Section_31 said:

There's something about feeling that there's 'no escape' from the stress that makes you feel worse, even if it's not 'massive' stress in itself, it's the idea that you can't avoid it, or there's nowhere to go. Eventually you pop and instead of finding those small moments of 'you'  time,  you  blow big and start fantasizing about stealing a boat and sailing away. That's your mind's way of trying to protect you

 

A phrase I've said too many times - either find the time for yourself or your body/mind will force it for you. 

[Bjornebye]

I haven't felt myself at all this week. I went to a wedding with some of my closest mates down south last weekend and had a great time but drank far more than I have in a long time for two days solid. I'm not sure if it's just a week of beer fear but YNWA has just come on Radio 2 while I'm sat here working and I've just burst out crying. Thank fuck she's not home. 

 

I'm sure I'm fine, that song makes us all emotional eh. 

[Harry's Lad]

25 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

I haven't felt myself at all this week. I went to a wedding with some of my closest mates down south last weekend and had a great time but drank far more than I have in a long time for two days solid. I'm not sure if it's just a week of beer fear but YNWA has just come on Radio 2 while I'm sat here working and I've just burst out crying. Thank fuck she's not home. 

 

I'm sure I'm fine, that song makes us all emotional eh. 

It's way, way more than a song mate and yes it does.

[Arniepie]

Work is a big one for me.

We get given targets and can only make x amount of mistakes, so I always think if I make a mistake  I'll end up losing my job.

I have this huge fear of losing My job and losing my house etc.Im on my own so got no one I can fall back on.

Been told today I've made 2 mistakes and manager is talking about informal action. 

Feel like crying.

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, Arniepie said:

Work is a big one for me.

We get given targets and can only make x amount of mistakes, so I always think if I make a mistake  I'll end up losing my job.

I have this huge fear of losing My job and losing my house etc.Im on my own so got no one I can fall back on.

Been told today I've made 2 mistakes and manager is talking about informal action. 

Feel like crying.

Fuck that mate. I'd get looking for another job right away, not because you're going to lose this one but because your manager sounds like a cunt and you can't go day to day with that worry 

[Arniepie]

4 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Fuck that mate. I'd get looking for another job right away, not because you're going to lose this one but because your manager sounds like a cunt and you can't go day to day with that worry 

I'm.going to the union today

She is a proper stickler for the rules

I probably shouldn't let it affect me so much but its literally one of my biggest fears. 

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, Arniepie said:

I'm.going to the union today

She is a proper stickler for the rules

I probably shouldn't let it affect me so much but its literally one of my biggest fears. 

Do it mate and tell them how it's making you feel. 

[littletedwest]

25 minutes ago, Arniepie said:

Work is a big one for me.

We get given targets and can only make x amount of mistakes, so I always think if I make a mistake  I'll end up losing my job.

I have this huge fear of losing My job and losing my house etc.Im on my own so got no one I can fall back on.

Been told today I've made 2 mistakes and manager is talking about informal action. 

Feel like crying.

Speak to union rep. Aren't you a civil servant? If do there is a great forum on reddit for support.

Best of luck mate 

[dockers_strike]

36 minutes ago, Arniepie said:

Work is a big one for me.

We get given targets and can only make x amount of mistakes, so I always think if I make a mistake  I'll end up losing my job.

I have this huge fear of losing My job and losing my house etc.Im on my own so got no one I can fall back on.

Been told today I've made 2 mistakes and manager is talking about informal action. 

Feel like crying.

This is tantamount to bullying in the workplace for me. As others have said, get your union rep involved. Id start keeping a work diary where you can record things you did well and consider you were not given the recognition or praise. Also log when you think your manager has shown signs of bullying, highlighting minor errors and not recognising the good stuff you do.

 

Easier said than done but dont let the bastards wear you down.

[Arniepie]

Cheers boys

Yep it's civil service

Told them before I've had problems with anxiety and depression and she just casually mentions I could be going down the formal route

I'll see what the union say today..they are quite good in here.

[Creator Supreme]

10 minutes ago, Arniepie said:

Cheers boys

Yep it's civil service

Told them before I've had problems with anxiety and depression and she just casually mentions I could be going down the formal route

I'll see what the union say today..they are quite good in here.

Good luck fella.

[Arniepie]

2 minutes ago, Creator Supreme said:

Good luck fella.

Ta mate 

I know there are a few on here,like yourself, are struggling and it probably feels a bit,less important, but it's nice to have someone where you can open up a bit.

[Creator Supreme]

6 minutes ago, Arniepie said:

Ta mate 

I know there are a few on here,like yourself, are struggling and it probably feels a bit,less important, but it's nice to have someone where you can open up a bit.

The forum is the perfect place to vent mate, support is always here.

[Clem H Fandango]

Training up a poor sod at work that has tried and nearly succeeded to commit suicide in the past. Got major anxiety issues so ive been tasked with putting an arm around him, which is fine by me. im no mental health champion and have been in a similar place many years ago when i was staring at a river for 30 minutes and considering riding my motorbike in it in full leathers.

I was fortunate to have a moment of clarity and realise that there is nothing in life worth taking your own for.