Depression

[Captain Willard]

3 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

I’m going to my best friends 50th tonight. He’s probably the best person I know, and I wouldn’t miss it for the world.
 

All the people that will make the effort to attend are testament to how fucking brilliant he’s been as a father, husband, son, brother, colleague, and friend. 

 

To say I’m struggling with it though, is an understatement. I’m so angry with myself for making it about me, but the idea of walking in to the party fills me with absolute terror.
 

I stand up in front of people for a living, I get anxious, very nervous, extremely tired. This is another level though. It’s hard to explain, when I don’t understand it myself. 
 

There’s suicidal thoughts (that I will not act upon), tears, agitation, irritability. I’m also firmly in flight mode, I want all trace of me to disappear. 
 

I know I’m going to have to start drinking early, so I can build up the courage to get there. When I do, I know it won’t be nearly as bad as I’m currently telling myself it will be. I might even enjoy it. 
 

These moments will pass. Tomorrow I’ll be back slagging off perfectly acceptable breakfasts, and some beautifully appalling ones. 

Yorkshire

You sound like you’re going through a tough time. This will pass, it always does. I wasted decades worrying about stuff that either didn’t happen or when it did it like losing my job wasn’t as bad as I feared. It took my ex wife (and mother of 2 of my kids) dying of terminal cancer at 52 to make me realise that it’s a very short time of being on the planet so try not to waste it. I’ve got maybe 15 - 20 years left on this little blue and green rock so I’m going to try and enjoy every sunset, every glass of wine and every book.
 

Stay strong Yorkshire, go to your party and have a great time. 
 

michael 

[Arniepie]

4 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

I’m going to my best friends 50th tonight. He’s probably the best person I know, and I wouldn’t miss it for the world.
 

All the people that will make the effort to attend are testament to how fucking brilliant he’s been as a father, husband, son, brother, colleague, and friend. 

 

To say I’m struggling with it though, is an understatement. I’m so angry with myself for making it about me, but the idea of walking in to the party fills me with absolute terror.
 

I stand up in front of people for a living, I get anxious, very nervous, extremely tired. This is another level though. It’s hard to explain, when I don’t understand it myself. 
 

There’s suicidal thoughts (that I will not act upon), tears, agitation, irritability. I’m also firmly in flight mode, I want all trace of me to disappear. 
 

I know I’m going to have to start drinking early, so I can build up the courage to get there. When I do, I know it won’t be nearly as bad as I’m currently telling myself it will be. I might even enjoy it. 
 

These moments will pass. Tomorrow I’ll be back slagging off perfectly acceptable breakfasts, and some beautifully appalling ones. 

Is it the thought of going out or having to make that effort of talking to everyone?

[Arniepie]

4 hours ago, KMD7 said:

She sounds like a proper cunt mate. You're a civil servant mate, no way you can be sacked I'm sure? Get onto your union rep pronto. 

Yeah mate

Spoke to a lad yesterday who has put my mind at rest a bit but I'm one of those people who once they start worrying about something, can't let it go.

[Bjornebye]

4 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

I’m going to my best friends 50th tonight. He’s probably the best person I know, and I wouldn’t miss it for the world.
 

All the people that will make the effort to attend are testament to how fucking brilliant he’s been as a father, husband, son, brother, colleague, and friend. 

 

To say I’m struggling with it though, is an understatement. I’m so angry with myself for making it about me, but the idea of walking in to the party fills me with absolute terror.
 

I stand up in front of people for a living, I get anxious, very nervous, extremely tired. This is another level though. It’s hard to explain, when I don’t understand it myself. 
 

There’s suicidal thoughts (that I will not act upon), tears, agitation, irritability. I’m also firmly in flight mode, I want all trace of me to disappear. 
 

I know I’m going to have to start drinking early, so I can build up the courage to get there. When I do, I know it won’t be nearly as bad as I’m currently telling myself it will be. I might even enjoy it. 
 

These moments will pass. Tomorrow I’ll be back slagging off perfectly acceptable breakfasts, and some beautifully appalling ones. 

Get a bevvy down you and walk in with your cock out. X 

[Section_31]

4 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

I’m going to my best friends 50th tonight. He’s probably the best person I know, and I wouldn’t miss it for the world.
 

All the people that will make the effort to attend are testament to how fucking brilliant he’s been as a father, husband, son, brother, colleague, and friend. 

 

To say I’m struggling with it though, is an understatement. I’m so angry with myself for making it about me, but the idea of walking in to the party fills me with absolute terror.
 

I stand up in front of people for a living, I get anxious, very nervous, extremely tired. This is another level though. It’s hard to explain, when I don’t understand it myself. 
 

There’s suicidal thoughts (that I will not act upon), tears, agitation, irritability. I’m also firmly in flight mode, I want all trace of me to disappear. 
 

I know I’m going to have to start drinking early, so I can build up the courage to get there. When I do, I know it won’t be nearly as bad as I’m currently telling myself it will be. I might even enjoy it. 
 

These moments will pass. Tomorrow I’ll be back slagging off perfectly acceptable breakfasts, and some beautifully appalling ones. 

Mate this is the double edged sword of anxiety. Not wanting to do something AND then feeling guilty about that fact.

 

I think social anxiety is absolutely normal, just some people get it worse than others at particular times in their life. 

 

These are a couple of bits of advice I've been given.

 

(1) think about anxiety the way you think about the flu. You can't regret having it because it's not your fault. It's just one of those things that happens to people. It lays you low, you get through it but it WILL go away. Having the flu doesn't mean you're weak, or that you deserve it or that you brought it on yourself. Anxiety is no different. I think we're wrong in this country to make clear distinctions between physical and mental illness. They're both just as real.

 

(2) ask yourself what would your advice be if it was your mate going through what you're going through? No doubt you'd feel compassion, caring, a wish to help and wouldn't judge. Now, transfer all those feelings to yourself. Be a friend to you.

[YorkshireRed]

Thanks all - just a bit of a wobble. Probably been letting a number of things build up of late and having to go to this party has become more difficult (in my head anyway) as a result.

 

I actually took myself swimming earlier. Felt much better for that. 
 

Tonight will be fine. 

[ZonkoVille77]

32 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Thanks all - just a bit of a wobble. Probably been letting a number of things build up of late and having to go to this party has become more difficult (in my head anyway) as a result.

 

I actually took myself swimming earlier. Felt much better for that. 
 

Tonight will be fine. 

 

Did you wee in the pool?

 

You'll be fine later. Sorry you're experiencing this, the human brain is a messed up piece of equipment. Hope you're ok,  dude.

[Elite]

Yorkshire tonight once he's had a few beers and all the anxiety is replaced with carefree recklessness.

 

[littletedwest]

1 hour ago, Arniepie said:

Yeah mate

Spoke to a lad yesterday who has put my mind at rest a bit but I'm one of those people who once they start worrying about something, can't let it go.

Not sure what branch of civil service you work in mate or what grade. In my department it seems almost impossible to get sacked unless you're dodgy. 

Have you considered a lateral move to another role or department? I started on the phones and was lucky enough to get a promotion but I know of people who started with me who moved sideways to get off the phone

 

[Captain Willard]

1 hour ago, YorkshireRed said:

Thanks all - just a bit of a wobble. Probably been letting a number of things build up of late and having to go to this party has become more difficult (in my head anyway) as a result.

 

Found a vintage Razzle in a hedge so had two wanks and then a pot noodle earlier. Felt much better for that. 
 

Tonight will be fine. 

Fixed your typos. No need to thank me. 

[Bjornebye]

@YorkshireRed task is to get a pic of a fit bird for the forum. Focus. 

[YorkshireRed]

11 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

@YorkshireRed task is to get a pic of a fit bird for the forum. Focus. 

There’s certainly a few here. 

[Numero Veinticinco]

‘Focus’ got me. 

[Bjornebye]

29 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

There’s certainly a few here. 

Fund a huge bowl, slam it on the most central table and throw your keys in it. 

[Captain Willard]

37 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

There’s certainly a few here. 

Is the nice lady in the white dress there ? 

[Arniepie]

5 hours ago, littletedwest said:

Not sure what branch of civil service you work in mate or what grade. In my department it seems almost impossible to get sacked unless you're dodgy. 

Have you considered a lateral move to another role or department? I started on the phones and was lucky enough to get a promotion but I know of people who started with me who moved sideways to get off the phone

 

I'm in the dbs mate. 

I think I'm just thinking worst case scenario but I know once you get into that informal/formal process it's hard for it to stop.

Yeah the union lad said that if it looks that way,I can just ask to be moved.

Its weird cos they make a big thing about mental health welfare, yet when it's caused by work they don't give a fuck.

I know a girl who had cancer and they were putting her on warnings and stuff for being off sick.

[Captain Howdy]

On 07/10/2022 at 14:25, Arniepie said:

They veer in here from output to quality 

You are meant to knock out 80 odd a day and the error ratio is something like 1 in 1200 so it can be quite stressful. 

Just spoke to the lad in the union.

He was quite good and say I was no where near getting forced out and if it got anywhere near that stage, they would just get moved.

Which has stopped me wanting to jump in the Mersey at least.

Thanks for all the replies lads.Appreciate it.

Though kerry catona would tip me over the edge

 

He sounds like an archetypal bully 

[Rico1304]

1 minute ago, Arniepie said:

I'm in the dbs mate. 

I think I'm just thinking worst case scenario but I know once you get into that informal/formal process it's hard for it to stop.

Yeah the union lad said that if it looks that way,I can just ask to be moved.

Its weird cos they make a big thing about mental health welfare, yet when it's caused by work they don't give a fuck.

I know a girl who had cancer and they were putting her on warnings and stuff for being off sick.

I can only echo LTW - from what I’ve heard my mate has tried and failed to fire people for incompetence on an epic scale so I wouldn’t worry.  

[Arniepie]

Just now, Rico1304 said:

I can only echo LTW - from what I’ve heard my mate has tried and failed to fire people for incompetence on an epic scale so I wouldn’t worry.  

Ta mate 

Hope your right.

[Harry's Lad]

2 hours ago, Arniepie said:

Ta mate 

Hope your right.

And when it all blows over, get yourself a can of expanding foam and apply a good long squirt up her exhaust pipe.

That'll learn her.

[Clem H Fandango]

10 hours ago, Arniepie said:

I'm in the dbs mate. 

I think I'm just thinking worst case scenario but I know once you get into that informal/formal process it's hard for it to stop.

Yeah the union lad said that if it looks that way,I can just ask to be moved.

Its weird cos they make a big thing about mental health welfare, yet when it's caused by work they don't give a fuck.

I know a girl who had cancer and they were putting her on warnings and stuff for being off sick.

Change the dbs record of your boss. That'll show her!

[Arniepie]

12 hours ago, Harry's Lad said:

And when it all blows over, get yourself a can of expanding foam and apply a good long squirt up her exhaust pipe.

That'll learn her.

Excellent advice 

[Bjornebye]

World mental health day today. Check in on a loved one and take a minute to check in on yourself. 

[skend04]

Got asked to come into work today, we have a joint fortnightly catch-up with our other office on Teams usually so was a bit odd that we had to come in. We were told that my line manager had committed suicide last week. To say it was a shock is a bit of an understatement, some took it really badly. He was suffering from Crohn's disease and had a few other linked issues but at no point did he look like he was contemplating it nor did anyone think he would do it. He'd just wedded off his daughter a couple of weeks ago too. A terrible loss of life and it just shows you that you don't know what people are going through if they don't tell you or if you aren't paying attention.

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, skend04 said:

Got asked to come into work today, we have a joint fortnightly catch-up with our other office on Teams usually so was a bit odd that we had to come in. We were told that my line manager had committed suicide last week. To say it was a shock is a bit of an understatement, some took it really badly. He was suffering from Crohn's disease and had a few other linked issues but at no point did he look like he was contemplating it nor did anyone think he would do it. He'd just wedded off his daughter a couple of weeks ago too. A terrible loss of life and it just shows you that you don't know what people are going through if they don't tell you or if you aren't paying attention.

Bloody hell mate that's awful. Sorry to hear this.