Depression

[Section_31]

You folks who've had this long-term, have you ever found a way of dealing with it without meds?

 

I've been on them twice and they worked a treat. I came off them about three years back and had been doing okay.

 

 A few weeks ago I just started feeling like shit. General mood was poor, then physical symptoms kicked in, then you get that whole chicken and egg where the symptoms stress you out and kick more symptoms off.

 

I'd wanted to deal with all this 'naturally', so have been doing the gym and all that busunsss, but I just don't know if that's all bollocks 'go for a walk in the countryside', yeah that'll do the trick in a pandemic when my mum is a mentalist, I'm on my own all day and my body is riddled, and I mean riddled with adrenaline, all day every day.

 

[redinblack]

Im probably stating the obvious here, but it has been alluded to in terms of how exercising and watching alcohol is being positive in terms of countering the arrival of The Black Dog.

 

The last week or so, Ive drunk a fair bit more than I would have normally, not smashed every day but no dry days. I havent caught my exercise sessions either, whilst a couple of family issues have been there as they always are.

 

Sunday night I was awake most of the night, heart beating out of my chest, terrible thoughts about the family issues, just feeling wretched, why am I feeling so manic? why am I so stressed? and about 530am its like a light bulb goes on......too much ale......too much overthinking.....not enough endorphins....its all on you, You Soft Get.

 

I think I have it mild compared to some on here ( my best wishes to you all).....but I took my eye off the ball and I forgot to watch out for the triggers, and The Black Dog ambushed me. Im on it now, Ive still got another weeks holiday and a weekend walking in The Lakes coming up. I'll claw this back. 

 

Hang in there everyone.

[YorkshireRed]

1 minute ago, Section_31 said:

You folks who've had this long-term, have you ever found a way of dealing with it without meds?

 

I've been on them twice and they worked a treat. I came off them about three years back and had been doing okay.

 

 A few weeks ago I just started feeling like shit. General mood was poor, then physical symptoms kicked in, then you get that whole chicken and egg where the symptoms stress you out and kick more symptoms off.

 

I'd wanted to deal with all this 'naturally', so have been doing the gym and all that busunsss, but I just don't know if that's all bollocks 'go for a walk in the countryside', yeah that'll do the trick in a pandemic when my mum is a mentalist, I'm on my own all day and my body is riddled, and I mean riddled with adrenaline, all day every day.

 

For me the answer is no. Having said that, I’ve not always given myself the best chance of being successful without the medication. 
 

I do think a combination of things can be helpful. Things like; therapy, meditation, diet, exercise etc. can certainly add to the benefits of medication. Perhaps they can even replace the need for it. I’ve just never committed enough to other things, for long enough.

 

I’ve been on and off the pills for years now. Fluoxetine, Sertraline and Mirtazapine at various times. When I’ve come off, I’ve done it ‘Cold Turkey’ which is the height of my self destructive stupidity. 
 

Not on anything at the moment. Probably should be as I’m on the drift but avoiding the doctors, in part because I said I wouldn’t do what I did again. They probably won’t care but still….

 

I think I know by now what is best for me:

 

1. Moderate medication.

2. Moderate alcohol intake.

3. No illegal drugs.

4. Swim most days.

5. Talk to someone early when the drift starts.

6. Eat better

7. Cut out the self hatred.

 

Not rocket science but I still fuck it up. 
 

If the non medication route isn’t working and the symptoms are getting worse then at least speak someone. Perhaps they can offer advice as to how to do this more effectively.

 

There probably isn’t a perfect answer, we’re all different.

 

You’ve got this though. I know it. 

[Section_31]

4 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

For me the answer is no. Having said that, I’ve not always given myself the best chance of being successful without the medication. 
 

I do think a combination of things can be helpful. Things like; therapy, meditation, diet, exercise etc. can certainly add to the benefits of medication. Perhaps they can even replace the need for it. I’ve just never committed enough to other things, for long enough.

 

I’ve been on and off the pills for years now. Fluoxetine, Sertraline and Mirtazapine at various times. When I’ve come off, I’ve done it ‘Cold Turkey’ which is the height of my self destructive stupidity. 
 

Not on anything at the moment. Probably should be as I’m on the drift but avoiding the doctors, in part because I said I wouldn’t do what I did again. They probably won’t care but still….

 

I think I know by now what is best for me:

 

1. Moderate medication.

2. Moderate alcohol intake.

3. No illegal drugs.

4. Swim most days.

5. Talk to someone early when the drift starts.

6. Eat better

7. Cut out the self hatred.

 

Not rocket science but I still fuck it up. 
 

If the non medication route isn’t working and the symptoms are getting worse then at least speak someone. Perhaps they can offer advice as to how to do this more effectively.

 

There probably isn’t a perfect answer, we’re all different.

 

You’ve got this though. I know it. 

 

Nah that's helpful mate cheers. I'm not in a terrible place, more just fed up of feeling shite. 

 

Thing is, you can't always control what goes in your head can you? You can't build a dam against life. 

 

Counsellor I spoke to years ago said I don't have 'anxiety' as such, as in a disorder, it's more a case of repeated, chronic build up of stress. I suspect I'm not great at shedding it and it builds up and I occasionally pop.

[YorkshireRed]

2 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

 

Nah that's helpful mate cheers. I'm not in a terrible place, more just fed up of feeling shite. 

 

Thing is, you can't always control what goes in your head can you? You can't build a dam against life. 

 

Counsellor I spoke to years ago said I don't have 'anxiety' as such, as in a disorder, it's more a case of repeated, chronic build up of stress. I suspect I'm not great at shedding it and it builds up and I occasionally pop.

I guess the label is only important if it’s a diagnosis that enables effective treatment.

 

Whatever it is, you’re feeling shit and that needs sorting. Riding it out might have worked before, it might even work this time, but it won’t work forever.

 

Talk to someone to understand how to ‘shed’. Even better formulate a plan to stop the build up in the first place. This life makes it virtually impossible to avoid all stress but we don’t have to make it easy for the bugger to have its way with us. 
 

Medication might not be the answer but, and I know you weren’t saying this, it’s not a dirty word either. 

[Bjornebye]

34 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

You folks who've had this long-term, have you ever found a way of dealing with it without meds?

 

I've been on them twice and they worked a treat. I came off them about three years back and had been doing okay.

 

 A few weeks ago I just started feeling like shit. General mood was poor, then physical symptoms kicked in, then you get that whole chicken and egg where the symptoms stress you out and kick more symptoms off.

 

I'd wanted to deal with all this 'naturally', so have been doing the gym and all that busunsss, but I just don't know if that's all bollocks 'go for a walk in the countryside', yeah that'll do the trick in a pandemic when my mum is a mentalist, I'm on my own all day and my body is riddled, and I mean riddled with adrenaline, all day every day.

 

I haven’t gone back on any prescribed medication since I was first given setraline and it made me worse. 
 

I have however been taking kalms for the last week or so and they have eased a lot of anxiety. I’ve actually ran out today and am not looking forward to trying to get to sleep tonight. 

[Babb'sBurstNad]

Sertraline was the magic ticket for me, and I reckon I'll ride that prescription train till the end.

 

Echoing what others have said, diet and exercise are key without meds. Another thing though, that I don't think gets mentioned much is doing something creative. It's important to exercise that part of your brain too. At its best, it can be like meditation, teaching you to focus, and experience flow.

[M_B]

Some of the things I have learned to do to keep things in check:

 

1: A daily journal of my anxieties. What I have found is that my fears are greatly exaggerated - 95% of the time my fears do not come to fruition. The problem with anxiety is that you imagine the worst, yet the worst rarely happens. Looking back through my journal was a real eye opener.

 

2: A daily to do list. I feel overwhelmed by jobs I need to do. The analogy I like is a Sunday Roast - we don't try to eat it all in one mouthful, we take bites until it is all gone. I take the same approach with jobs and I accept that the jobs won't get done by themselves. Do them first and then relax later.

 

3: Sharing fears and anxieties. Talking about them helps a lot. It helps me to see if they are valid.

 

4: Gratitude. I have a daily gratitude list which I add to at night and read first thing in the morning. The list is huge now. A problem I had in life was in comparing my life with people who 'had more'. I never compared my life to people who 'have less'. If you are driving a Ford Fiesta and you get depressed that your mate has a Porsche, then take away your Ford Fiesta for 2 weeks and see how you feel about it then.

 

5: Avoid Alcohol. Not completely, but it needs to be treated with caution. It wakes you up with the fears at 4am and it triggers self recrimination.

 

6: Doing Service. Helping others really is a winner. You build connections and you feel good about yourself. And doing it secretly is really good.

 

7: Exercise. As others have said, doing exercise really helps although again I tend to stay away from gyms cause I get triggered by what I think other people might be thinking about me. Which leads me onto the next point.

 

8: Avoid negative fantasy. I have a tendency to imagine what others are thinking about me. In reality they probably aren't because the world doesn't revolve around me, and even if they are then so what? I am not on this planet to please everyone always. I just need to do my best, and to be happy in who I am. That's all. And if someone doesn't like me - fine, that's up to them. I have a rule now to try to stop negative thinking whenever it enters my head - it takes practice, but I am certainly far better at it now than I was. It helps to avoid alcohol and to practice meditation and mindfullness.

 

9: Avoid imposter syndrome. That feeling at work that you aren't good enough at your job and you'll be exposed and sacked. It happens because we hide our fears at work. I voice those fears at work now and it has been a revelation. And the daily to do list helps to ensure I don't get overwhelmed.

 

10: Avoid regrets and the fear of missing life goals. Will I get married or worse, why didn't I marry that girl I met when I was 24? Will I have kids? Will I be able to afford a house? Will I get a decent enough pension? This comes back to gratitude again. Ultimately we can only do our best. My life improved immensely when I actively chose to practice appreciating what I had and stopped comparing my life with others or living in the regret of my past. As Bill Hicks said - life is a ride. Enjoy it for what it is rather than being sad about what it isn't.

 

11: Avoid emotionally investing in my views and opinions. I try to practice acceptance and giving up control. If someone suggests something that is different to my own idea then I give up control and do as they suggest - do I need to have it my way all the time? If someone disagrees with me then fine - they are entitled to an opinion different to mine. I try to avoid black and white thinking now, and I try to recognize when my own viewpoint is on shakey ground and to admit it. I used to get massively wound up by views on this forum for example - now they (mostly) wash over me.

 

 

....there are others too. Essentially my sadness was rooted in my thinking and only by changing my thinking could I exorcise my depression. It's not all rainbows and unicorns of course - I have to practice this on a daily basis, but it works for me at least. After 3 years of therapy and a 12 step programme, my mental health is in a completely different place.

 

Anyway - hope that helps.

[TheSire]

18 hours ago, Section_31 said:

You folks who've had this long-term, have you ever found a way of dealing with it without meds?

 

I've been on them twice and they worked a treat. I came off them about three years back and had been doing okay.

 

 A few weeks ago I just started feeling like shit. General mood was poor, then physical symptoms kicked in, then you get that whole chicken and egg where the symptoms stress you out and kick more symptoms off.

 

I'd wanted to deal with all this 'naturally', so have been doing the gym and all that busunsss, but I just don't know if that's all bollocks 'go for a walk in the countryside', yeah that'll do the trick in a pandemic when my mum is a mentalist, I'm on my own all day and my body is riddled, and I mean riddled with adrenaline, all day every day.

 

I find exercising helps calm my mind and helps me focus a great deal. I find my energy levels are low when waking, feeling like I've been run over by a monster truck 17 times in my sleep.

 

I never feel like it but after just a 15 minute run a switch has been flicked and the rest of my day tends to be much easier. I don't get stressed out or wound up about nothing in the face of any challenge etc.

 

I think of exercise as a preventative measure but we should really be doing it anyway as the added bonus is its good for overall health and if you get in better shape this will give you something extra to feel good about.

 

It seems some people find it easier to function than others but I've just accepted that i need to do this as part of my daily routine and I find I don't slip if I keep to the plan.

[TheSire]

I like daily checklists. Boxes that if ticked will keep my mood elevated, motivate me and keep my mind occupied. Things that not only do that but will benefit me in the long run.

 

Spend 5 minutes asking what I can work towards to make life better, exercise, learn something, plan a catch up with friends, wind down, take 5 minutes to appreciate what we do have now.

 

I don't ask for much.

[Section_31]

Cheers fellas, all great responses. 

 

One of my biggest problems is self inflicted in the sense that I don't do any, for want of a better word, self maintenance (Matron!). 

 

I don't really have any hobbies, don't really do anything to relax and calm my mind, save for watching telly. Don't really do anything around mindfulness, meditation or lists. I tend to just keep myself occupied by any means possible, like pushing a roundabout not wanting it to stop, just in case. 

 

I've been exercising a bit, recently completed that couch to 5k thing again in the gym and been doing weights again, have lost quite a bit of timber, but I'd be lying if I said I enjoyed it or in any way looked forward to it. 

 

It's funny that my anxiety only really started in earnest in my 30s even though, looking back, my life was a lot shitter in my 20s in terms of jobs/money etc. One thing I did have back then though was much more of a social life, no matter how shit a job was or my week had been, it'd all be forgotten about at the weekend with a few mates (I wasn't a alcoholic by any stretch, but 'going out' seemed to be my thing). These days I spend the weekend shopping. 

[Fugitive]

Had a really shitty day today.

 

ended up arguing with the ex, saw my best mate who didn’t ask how I was and just spoke about how well he was doing and i didn’t want to bring him down. Ended up getting a few beers and now regret that as well. Just looking forward to going back to work tomorrow afternoon.

 

Fucking hate this. 

[Bjornebye]

24 minutes ago, Fugitive said:

Had a really shitty day today.

 

ended up arguing with the ex, saw my best mate who didn’t ask how I was and just spoke about how well he was doing and i didn’t want to bring him down. Ended up getting a few beers and now regret that as well. Just looking forward to going back to work tomorrow afternoon.

 

Fucking hate this. 

Scran and sleep it off mate. Some mate if he can't even be arsed to ask how you are. 

[Fugitive]

6 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Scran and sleep it off mate. Some mate if he can't even be arsed to ask how you are. 

Had a scran and now a bit pissed off. He’s got a kid on the way so can understand why he’s a bit distracted. Just feel a bit isolated right now. Sound like a whinging cunt.

[Bjornebye]

3 minutes ago, Fugitive said:

Had a scran and now a bit pissed off. He’s got a kid on the way so can understand why he’s a bit distracted. Just feel a bit isolated right now. Sound like a whinging cunt.

You're not one. Let it out 

[Arniepie]

Counselling isn't for everyone but getting stuff of your chest certainly doesn't do you any harm.

[Fugitive]

11 minutes ago, Fugitive said:

Had a scran and now a bit pissed off. He’s got a kid on the way so can understand why he’s a bit distracted. Just feel a bit isolated right now. Sound like a whinging cunt.

Just been a shit one. Apparently, I’m to blame and her being unfaithful was just one of those things. I just need to get on with it. 
 

Got no family here and my mates are useless but I need to open up to people according to her. I still love her and miss seeing my little girl everyday. I have her anytime I’m off but she has moved miles away so can’t see her all the time. Any time I get off is with my daughter and my life is now work or my girl 

[Fugitive]

6 minutes ago, Arniepie said:

Counselling isn't for everyone but getting stuff of your chest certainly doesn't do you any harm.

Tried that and it was useless

[Bjornebye]

40 minutes ago, Fugitive said:

Just been a shit one. Apparently, I’m to blame and her being unfaithful was just one of those things. I just need to get on with it. 
 

Got no family here and my mates are useless but I need to open up to people according to her. I still love her and miss seeing my little girl everyday. I have her anytime I’m off but she has moved miles away so can’t see her all the time. Any time I get off is with my daughter and my life is now work or my girl 

Fuck that shit mate. How far away have they moved? 

[Fugitive]

1 hour ago, Bjornebye said:

Fuck that shit mate. How far away have they moved? 

To west kilbride to her mums. 40 miles away, the problem is I work 30 miles in the opposite direction. 

[Bjornebye]

Just now, Fugitive said:

To west kilbride to her mums. 40 miles away, the problem is I work 30 miles in the opposite direction. 

Aah thats shite. But, you know your daughter is relying on you to make it work. 

 

Watch this, then get your nut down mate x

 

 

 

 

[Section_31]

8 hours ago, Fugitive said:

Tried that and it was useless

Maybe you just need to find the right one mate, there's night and day difference between some of them, both in terms of their approaches and qualifications.

[Moctezuma]

I agree with many on this thread about exercise, what I would say is that while ostensibly it is better to exercise in the mornings to raise your metabolic rate during the day, I find that I need the endorphin rush post work to a far greater extent than pre-work. I also tend to add in a multivitamin after my run/prior to tea, because while they may not actually be that helpful it gives a psychological balm that I'm taking something that is beneficial.

 

Diet is pretty important, trying to eat non-processed foods is difficult because they take longer to prepare but have significant benefits.

 

I try and avoid alcohol and drugs as much as I can now as they really pull me down in the days afterwards.

 

[Moctezuma]

56 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Maybe you just need to find the right one mate, there's night and day difference between some of them, both in terms of their approaches and qualifications.

I agree with this,

 

Over the years I have seen 4 people 2 of which were excellent, the other 2 were poor and I didn't see them after 2 and 1 sessions respectively. I think it really depends on finding a personal connection or at least an ability to feel comfortable with a counsellor, just like in normal life you get on with some people and don't get on well with others.

[Section_31]

4 minutes ago, Moctezuma said:

I agree with this,

 

Over the years I have seen 4 people 2 of which were excellent, the other 2 were poor and I didn't see them after 2 and 1 sessions respectively. I think it really depends on finding a personal connection or at least an ability to feel comfortable with a counsellor, just like in normal life you get on with some people and don't get on well with others.

 

I think there's a lot of amateurs doing it too sadly. You can't really compare someone working out of their box room with a trained and experienced mental health professional. 

 

Sadly mental health is where you really do see the difference between the haves and the have nots. My mum sees counsellors through a charity and they're always trainees and tend to get moved around a lot plus there's always a big wait.

 

People with money can get the full leather couch trestmemt as and when they want.