The world of a woman.

[Nunavut Patrick]

Their hand dryers could cure Ebola.

[stringvest]

Their hand dryers could cure Ebola.

 

or at least blow it into the next continent.

[RoboRiise]

Their hand dryers could cure Ebola.

 

AIRBLADE.  Used one of those the other week in a restaurant, I thought it was actually going to chop my hands off.

[stringvest]

AIRBLADE.  Used one of those the other week in a restaurant, I thought it was actually going to chop my hands off.

 

 

Currently seen blowing piss around motorway service station toilets up and down the land.

[RoboRiise]

Currently seen blowing piss around motorway service station toilets up and down the land.

 

The Saudis are missing a trick still using swords for beheadings, just queue them up and shove them head first into one of those.  They could easily do 100 an hour, although the fact that the entire country would be enveloped in a bloody mist after three days may be a downside.

 

I bet ISIS John has priced one up.

[stringvest]

The Saudis are missing a trick still using swords for beheadings, just queue them up and shove them head first into one of those.  They could easily do 100 an hour, although the fact that the entire country would be enveloped in a bloody mist after three days may be a downside.

 

I bet ISIS John has priced one up.

 

even if it didn't behead you, it would certainly make your contact lenses crisp up.

[Nunavut Patrick]

I wonder what it would do to your todger.

 

Probably the only true way to male enhancement.

[Remmie]

Absolutely astonished that I of all people get singled out for that in a 289 page thread mate, especially one that was specifically made to highlight the foilibles of the fairer sex.

 

If by 'a few issues' you're suggesting misogyny, nothing could be further from the truth.  Some of them are stupid mental cunts though and they are the ones I refer to negatively.  That car one is a prime case in point - I wasn't joking there, someone as gormless as that is only being prevented from causing a serious accident by blind luck; however as proof that there's no misogyny involved I can confirm that I'd have exactly the same low opinion of a bloke who did the same thing.

 

Post before that was acknowledging a truth that's been reflected in TV sitcoms since my dad was in his 20s, that women hate to see a man doing nothing.

 

One before that was a comment specifically about a girl who the poster identified had cheated on his brother.

 

Not seeing it mate, sorry.  I like the sane, pleasant, intelligent ones just fine, it's just unfortunate that I don't come across anything like enough of them.

I don't think your a misogynist, no. I had just noticed a couple bitter sounding posts that made it sound like you had given up on them completely as if you expected they all act like some of the extreme examples posted here. It was supposed to be a positive post but I guess it didn't come out that way. While we bitch about them we all love 'em so something must be worthwhile and it might not even be just the sex!

 

Rest assured that as smug as I might be with my great relationship with my amazing wife, I'll be sure to point out her foibles as they come out, that's what makes this the best thread on the internet.

[JagSquared]

The other half couldn't sleep so kept moving all night constantly waking me up in the process. Incessant it was. She then wonders why I'm a bit grouchy this morning.

 

Fucks sake.

[melons]

Most women seem to think DIY is the man's job but won't accept the counter argument that housework is a woman's job (Providing they refuse to do DIY).

 

Nah, it's just the second we get out the tools needed to do the job the other half comes to take over in case we damage anything! 

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Nah, it's just the second we get out the tools needed to do the job the other half comes to take over in case we damage anything! 

 

Nope, not having that. I'd happily watch a partner wreck some tools if they'd ever pick one up.

[melons]

Nope, not having that. I'd happily watch a partner wreck some tools if they'd ever pick one up.

 

Haha, In this house it's reached a point where i can't even jet wash the drive when he's home from work. As much as i'd like to think this is brilliant, he stops whatever it is he needs to be cracking on with to take over, this means it takes even longer to complete whatever it was he was doing in the first place. 

​

I've learnt that his work days are the ones to get shit done, if i want to paint I need to have it done in a day. I did the drive yesterday (to be fair it's huge and takes about 4 hours) and this afternoon i'm digging up the garden and shifting some more stones. This way, when he gets home tomorrow he'll see what i'm doing and want to use the mini digger we've borrowed as it'll be done quicker and he gets to play with another piece of machinery. 

 

 

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Haha, In this house it's reached a point where i can't even jet wash the drive when he's home from work. As much as i'd like to think this is brilliant, he stops whatever it is he needs to be cracking on with to take over, this means it takes even longer to complete whatever it was he was doing in the first place. 

​

I've learnt that his work days are the ones to get shit done, if i want to paint I need to have it done in a day. I did the drive yesterday (to be fair it's huge and takes about 4 hours) and this afternoon i'm digging up the garden and shifting some more stones. This way, when he gets home tomorrow he'll see what i'm doing and want to use the mini digger we've borrowed as it'll be done quicker and he gets to play with another piece of machinery. 

 

Crafty. I like the cut of your jib.

[Elite]

Nah, it's just the second we get out the tools needed to do the job the other half comes to take over in case we damage anything!

Fair point. I wouldn't trust my missus to change a lightbulb!

[Anubis]

Talk of setting traps...

 

Bird: What would you change about me?

 

 

I've not replied to her for 5 hours.

 

Along with 'does my bum look big in this' and 'do these shoes go with this outfit' this queation belongs in the category of questions to which there are no right answers.

 

Pointing something out will put you in the dog house. Saying you wouldn't change anything will put you in the doghouse (as she'll find something she feels is wrong with herself and accuse you of not noticing). Not answering for 5 hours will put you in the dog house (as she thinks you're compiling a lengthy list and avoiding the answer). 

 

Best just say you'd change nothing. It won't do you any good, but at least you'll know that you did everything you could, and it'll be over quickly.

[FanchesterCity]

The correct answer to 'what would you change about me' would be....

 

"Your husband" (me) 

[stringvest]

The correct answer to 'what would you change about me' would be....

 

 

 

"ask me again once the ironing's finished"

[Carvalho Diablo]

[lifetime fan]

Along with 'does my bum look big in this' and 'do these shoes go with this outfit' this queation belongs in the category of questions to which there are no right answers.

 

Pointing something out will put you in the dog house. Saying you wouldn't change anything will put you in the doghouse (as she'll find something she feels is wrong with herself and accuse you of not noticing). Not answering for 5 hours will put you in the dog house (as she thinks you're compiling a lengthy list and avoiding the answer).

 

Best just say you'd change nothing. It won't do you any good, but at least you'll know that you did everything you could, and it'll be over quickly.

Can't remember who it was that posted it, possibly Noos.

 

But when asked by his wife/bird 'do these jeans make my ass look fat'?

 

Replied with 'no, your fat ass makes it look fat'.

[Elite]

Love the fact that women drink Green Tea when they are on a diet.

 

Exercise and diet you lazy cunts. And not half heartedly.

[Harry Squatter]

A woman who runs a carers support group that me and the Mrs are a member of has just posted a message to see if any of the women members want to go and see 50 Shades of Grey. Within the space of 10 minutes at least 40 of them all said yes and started arranging a night out. I said to my Mrs that I should post one for the fellas next time there's a film where loads of birds get their tits out constantly or one that involves Kelly Brook doing loads of Lesbo scenes in a bikini. However 50 shades of grey is completely different but she couldn't explain why.

[stringvest]

Tell them to take some beach towels to sit on

[Bjornebye]

She just asked me how old the dalai lama is so I said "412"

 

She fucking googled it

[Elite]

A woman who runs a carers support group that me and the Mrs are a member of has just posted a message to see if any of the women members want to go and see 50 Shades of Grey. Within the space of 10 minutes at least 40 of them all said yes and started arranging a night out. I said to my Mrs that I should post one for the fellas next time there's a film where loads of birds get their tits out constantly or one that involves Kelly Brook doing loads of Lesbo scenes in a bikini. However 50 shades of grey is completely different but she couldn't explain why.

Women love fads. They have to do what the herd are doing because they are scared they are missing out.

[Dr Nowt]

'50 shades of grey' is the perfect description for most of what they like, right enough.

 

Always struck me as being like them Patrick Cox shoes called Wannabe; some people just don't know when they're having the piss taken out of them.