Should the UK remain a member of the EU

[Pidge]

9 minutes ago, Sixtimes Dog said:

 

All I will say is that if there are plans to introduce a technological solution, that Tata Consultancy Services be nowhere near it.

In my experience they certainly bring the "rinse you of everything we can and never go above min viable product" efficiency of the private sector.

[Pidge]

7 minutes ago, Boss said:

 

You could use facial recognition cameras and database the face of every person currently living in NI. That would pick up any non UK citizen passing through. That won't stop NI smugglers putting people in the back of lorries though. Personally I think a hard border is the only logical way of doing it, but the government - understandably with the sensitivity around the issue - will probably pursue other ways of going about it. What's for certain though, is the smugglers will be one step ahead at all times.

Fucking hell, I thought you were small state libertarian.

[M_B]

Top trolling by Boss.

 

I hope.

[Boss]

6 minutes ago, Pidge said:

Fucking hell, I thought you were small state libertarian.

 

I am. I'm just thinking about human traffickers in NI and trying to put myself in their shoes. Like how would I do it if I had a family of 16 Latvians that I had to sneak into Northern Ireland.

[Duff Man]

Yeah, fuck the peace accords, just throw up a border. Remarkable how casual people can be about that.

[Boss]

Maybe thermal sensors to check for body heat in the back of the lorries, but then again they'll just wrap themselves in ice blankets so they don't show up. Maybe a hole in the lorry that a little hovering alien eye thing enters into to scan the compartment - like a very small version of the sentinels from the Matrix. That wouldn't find them if they were strapped to the underside of the lorry though.

[No2]

17 minutes ago, Boss said:

 

You could use facial recognition cameras and database the face of every person currently living in NI. That would pick up any non UK citizen passing through. That won't stop NI smugglers putting people in the back of lorries though. Personally I think a hard border is the only logical way of doing it, but the government - understandably with the sensitivity around the issue - will probably pursue other ways of going about it. What's for certain though, is the smugglers will be one step ahead at all times.

This is genius. When the provos in South Armagh refuse to have their finger prints taken they will be refused re-entry to their country if they choose to leave for any reason.

[Bjornebye]

37 minutes ago, Boss said:

 

That's because the game has changed in the last 3 years. We've seen exactly what's on offer from the EU and it's a turd on a stick. So the only logical conclusion is to tell them to stick it up their arse and go our own way. 

The only logical conclusion? 

 

Whats in the water today for fuck sake 

[TheHowieLama]

If I was a Latvian I would just get some Irish fellas face tattooed onto my face and walk straight through.

[Mudface]

16 minutes ago, M_B said:

Top trolling by Boss.

 

I hope.

I think Poe's Law applies here given the views of many die hard Brexiteers.

[Bjornebye]

7 minutes ago, Boss said:

Maybe thermal sensors to check for body heat in the back of the lorries, but then again they'll just wrap themselves in ice blankets so they don't show up. Maybe a hole in the lorry that a little hovering alien eye thing enters into to scan the compartment - like a very small version of the sentinels from the Matrix. That wouldn't find them if they were strapped to the underside of the lorry though.

So Tom Cruise can get in but no other cunt 

[TheHowieLama]

 

 

 

Hmmm -- defend Democracy or watch the CL draw?? Tough one.

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, TheHowieLama said:

If I was a Latvian I would just get some Irish fellas face tattooed onto my face and walk straight through.

Yep. Just say loudly “we are orally men” and boom no problem. Even the 18 year old girls. 

[Boss]

3 minutes ago, No2 said:

This is genius. When the provos in South Armagh refuse to have their finger prints taken they will be refused re-entry to their country if they choose to leave for any reason.

 

You'd do it against their will. You'd take the photos from their passports and driving licenses and if they didn't have them, you'd take composites from CCTV footage of them to make the facial recognition software recognise them. 

[Strontium]

1 minute ago, Bjornebye said:

So Tom Cruise can get in but no other cunt 

Cruise will beat Boss's facial recognition cameras, easy.

 

[Pidge]

Surely the issue is the imposition of a border, not that the potential border isn't ultra-dystopian enough.

[Boss]

7 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

So Tom Cruise can get in but no other cunt 

 

No, because you'd use two machines. One would enter into the compartment in the back to scan it for human beings and the other would scan the underside of the lorry and also the top and sides to make sure there isn't a cheeky Latvian trying to hang on. Then the facial recognition software would analyse the driver to see whether they are a British citizen or not. If not they get denied, if yes, they get accepted but only if they're not panicked. 

[Bjornebye]

This is all geared towards Katie Hopkins and her old wanting migrants blown out of their boats before they hit the British mainland. 

[Tj hooker]

That twat Redmond still. spouting utter shite on BBC news about how suspending parliament is taking back control Christ on a bike 

[Boss]

7 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

This is all geared towards Katie Hopkins and her old wanting migrants blown out of their boats before they hit the British mainland. 

 

You could set up mini guns to fire at any unlicensed dinghy's entering our waters, but only after it's past four checkpoints and been flagged as suspicious and warned 3 times to leave the vicinity in every language available. 

[aRdja]

“Small state libertarian” = virgin

[No2]

14 minutes ago, Boss said:

 

You'd do it against their will. You'd take the photos from their passports and driving licenses and if they didn't have them, you'd take composites from CCTV footage of them to make the facial recognition software recognise them. 

Can this be arranged in 30 days?

 

What's the deal with the border going in the other direction? 

[Duff Man]

What about gammon recognition software? Does that exist yet? Definitely a potential solution there.

[deiseach]

4 minutes ago, Pidge said:

Surely the issue is the imposition of a border, not that the potential border isn't ultra-dystopian enough.

Pretty much. Alan Clark thought that "The only solution is to kill 600 people in one night. Let the UN and Bill Clinton and everyone else make a scene - and it is over for 20 years." Even if you could identify the right 600 people, and if the likes of Clark only learnt one thing from internment, which they didn't, but if they did it would be that you won't identify the right 600 people, and even if you could there would be 6,000 to replace them overnight. Any imposition of a border, no matter how benign, will be a recruitment drive for dissident Republicans. Things would be a lot simpler if the Brexiteers would admit that it's a chance they're willing to take. But they won't, because there would be enough people who currently are pro-Brexit who are not willing to take that chance, not least among the squaddies who would have to shed their blood for the cause. Instead we get gobbledygook about 'alternative arrangements' that will work perfectly yet have been mysteriously ignored by Norway and Sweden.

[Boss]

1 minute ago, No2 said:

Can this be arranged in 30 days?

 

What's the deal with the border going in the other direction? 

 

No, it'd take months of work. There'd still be people unregistered - like babies etc. Although you could make it mandatory to get a photo taken of your baby when you get your immunity jabs. You wouldn't need to facially scan any Irish people because they wouldn't be allowed in.