little things that annoy the shit out of you

[VladimirIlyich]

That's because you tie them wrong. The knot has a mirror image form . After you make the first loop cross the second end over the top of the first loop and then under - it won't come undone. if you pass the second underneath, it will come undone.

I'll try to find a link for you - I tied mine the wrong way for about 60 years!

Just double knot them. Job done.

[Rico1304]

We are at the Mother in Laws at Christmas, driving over on 23rd. Izzy is getting her a bike off Father Christmas so today I've had to drive to Staines for work, then over to the Cotswolds to put the thing together so she doesn't see it before Christmas Day. I'm shite at DIY so just spent an hour doing that whilst trying not to shout CUNT when I skinned my knuckles for the 8th time. Just got in bed and knocked a drink of water all over my work shoes.

 

On the up side no 6am shout of "is it Christmas yet?!" In the morning.

[General Dryness]

Feel your pain Rico.

 

I have to build a trampoline on Christmas eve after the lad has gone to bed because we want it to be a surprise and we've got nowhere to hide it if I build it beforehand.

 

Glad I don't drink any more. I used to love having a few rums on Christmas eve.

[Rico1304]

Feel your pain Rico.

 

I have to build a trampoline on Christmas eve after the lad has gone to bed because we want it to be a surprise and we've got nowhere to hide it if I build it beforehand.

 

Glad I don't drink any more. I used to love having a few rums on Christmas eve.

They are definitely a two man job mate, good luck.

[Captain Turdseye]

They are definitely a two man job mate, good luck.

I disagree. I bought one and was struggling to put it up myself. My next door neighbour popped his head over the fence and asked if I needed a hand so I said yeah, sure. Then I sat down for half an hour and watched him assemble it by himself.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

I disagree. I bought one and was struggling to put it up myself. My next door neighbour popped his head over the fence and asked if I needed a hand so I said yeah, sure. Then I sat down for half an hour and watched him assemble it by himself.

 

I got mine delivered while my cousins we up visiting. I went to work and came home to an assembled trampoline. My cousin just said "oh we though we'd put it up for you as they can be a bit tricky and we've done a couple before". Family done right.

[Evelyn Tentions]

We are at the Mother in Laws at Christmas, driving over on 23rd. Izzy is getting her a bike off Father Christmas so today I've had to drive to Staines for work, then over to the Cotswolds to put the thing together so she doesn't see it before Christmas Day. I'm shite at DIY so just spent an hour doing that whilst trying not to shout CUNT when I skinned my knuckles for the 8th time. Just got in bed and knocked a drink of water all over my work shoes.

 

On the up side no 6am shout of "is it Christmas yet?!" In the morning.

 

Treasure those moments while you can, they pass quickly enough.

[General Dryness]

They are definitely a two man job mate, good luck.

The missus will doubtless join in after I've had a tantrum and threatened divorce.

[Jenson]

Seems like every Christmas advert is using the sample from the home alone theme.

 

I know its an obscure ballet by a composer no-one has ever heard of, but its the 'Nutcracker' by Tchaikovsky, not the bloody Home Alone theme!

[Mook]

I know its an obscure ballet by a composer no-one has ever heard of, but its the 'Nutcracker' by Tchaikovsky, not the bloody Home Alone theme!

Ha ha, to be fair to Stig, it wasn't written by Noel Gallagher.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

I know its an obscure ballet by a composer no-one has ever heard of, but its the 'Nutcracker' by Tchaikovsky, not the bloody Home Alone theme!

 

I thought it was 'John Williams - Somewhere in my memory'?

[Furmedge]

Exams that have questions actually designed to trip you up. Not content with having you research, retain and answer something you've only just learnt, they want to fuck you over and call you a loser.

 

Yes, I have an exam this afternoon. I'm gonna fail big time. Sat there in a revision group and Mr Fucking Know It All is shouting out all the answers and I've now reverted to putting bets on, on my phone.

[Rico1304]

Exams that have questions actually designed to trip you up. Not content with having you research, retain and answer something you've only just learnt, they want to fuck you over and call you a loser.

 

Yes, I have an exam this afternoon. I'm gonna fail big time. Sat there in a revision group and Mr Fucking Know It All is shouting out all the answers and I've now reverted to putting bets on, on my phone.

Just remember;

 

"The greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer'

[General Dryness]

Just remember;

 

"The greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer'

 

Yes, but who is more the fool, the fool or the fool who follows the fool who is a fool.

 

Or something. Too many cooks are worth a bird in the hand.

[Captain Turdseye]

"Dont let the Bastards Grind you down make them Jealous thats if they are not already"

[General Dryness]

"Dont let the Bastards Grind you down make them Jealous thats if they are not already"

 

Confucius say "man with mosquito on testicles finds peaceful resolution to conflict".

[Rushies tash]

Yes, but who is more the fool, the fool or the fool who follows the fool who is a fool.

 

Or something. Too many cooks are worth a bird in the hand.

[General Dryness]

Well spotted tash. Rep owing.

[Alan Sex]

The missus will doubtless join in after I've had a tantrum and threatened divorce.

The evening might put a strain on your marriage, but after the thing is built I'm sure you'll bounce back.

[General Dryness]

The evening might put a strain on your marriage, but after the thing is built I'm sure you'll bounce back.

Or she might tell me to take a running jump.

[Bjornebye]

I know its an obscure ballet by a composer no-one has ever heard of, but its the 'Nutcracker' by Tchaikovsky, not the bloody Home Alone theme!

Yep. Just like when people hear you'll never walk alone they all go "ooh that's that lovely song from carousel"

 

You've done me there though

 

 

Anyway. The b c sport gossip pages. At the bottom.they always go "and finally..." then come out with a load more stories. What's the sodding point

Exams that have questions actually designed to trip you up. Not content with having you research, retain and answer something you've only just learnt, they want to fuck you over and call you a loser.

 

Yes, I have an exam this afternoon. I'm gonna fail big time. Sat there in a revision group and Mr Fucking Know It All is shouting out all the answers and I've now reverted to putting bets on, on my phone.

[Bjornebye]

Don't know why I've managed to quote furmedge there as well

[Remmie]

Yep. Just like when people hear you'll never walk alone they all go "ooh that's that lovely song from carousel"

 

You've done me there though

 

 

Anyway. The b c sport gossip pages. At the bottom.they always go "and finally..." then come out with a load more stories. What's the sodding point

 

I find that "and finally" heading quite useful as a signpost that all subsequent stories are incredibly dull. Some Wigan douchebag playing Xbox with his brother and decided to Instagram it. Thank fuck I know that

[Alan Sex]

It's bloody cold today. I don't like it when it's dangerous to go outside.

 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Looking after a dog for friends whilst they are in Bulgaria for the next 11 days and it's farting all the time and fucking stinks. Our dog keeps fucking off into the other living room to get away from her.