Jenson

Hahaha blast from the past this! Yeah, that's long over. I think he might have actually moved down South now.

He should never have played against Watford. That was the perfect opportunity to give him a rest.

Once a blue, always a manc

Lallana was at his absolute best day today. Came on at half time, went off injured 5 minutes later.

Virgil is so in love with Joel it's embarrassing

For Donestk and Luhansk, see the Sudetenland. “Those that fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”

Split up with my (now ex) bird a few months back, found out a couple of weeks ago that she kept a notepad of everything I did wrong over the course of our relationship, including (and I shit you not) calling her a div when she missed her footing and fell up the stairs.

Don't think Cesar (can't spell his surname obviously) did anything wrong really. He got a smashed in the face without doubt.

Obviously (winking emoji)

I like you when you're being normal TK

Did I not spell his name right? Bastard, I really tried with that one!

Sorry mate, but agree to disagree. He smashed Azpilicutea (if I've spelt that right it's a miracle) straight in the face with a forearm. Definite red card by today's rules. Edit: was meant to quote torahboy

Stop being sensible

57th get in!! I was hungover to fuck and could barely understand the questions. Also Dr Troy is a cunt for changing his name.

I know we're all biased, but Mane's challenge was as nailed on a red card as you're ever likely to see. Any other time in the game and he's off no question.