The drunk thread.

[PestiRed]

Haha you cunt

 

Is your wife still swallowing the plasterers pipe?

I've seen his work. That man is no plasterer

[Rushies tash]

Ah brandy. Myself and the Mrs pleasantly pissed right now xx

[Mendoza]

Despite being drunk quite often i dont think ive ever posted on this thread. I'm very drunk now, but unfortunately i dont have anything interesting to say. Ah well .

[Teasmaid]

Been in A&E all night with 16 year old numb nuts, after he was poisoned by a snake bite, or ten. We're now home, I've cleaned Noah's flood in vomit from the kitchen floor, while he's snoring on the couch. I've got to stay awake to watch he doesn't choke, I'm fucking knackered and I've got shitloads to do tomorrow (or rather, today as it now is).

 

Just to top it off, they told me at the hospital that they're making a social services referral. Apparently it's standard where there's a kid with alcohol poisoning but it's still not what you want 3 days before Christmas.

 

On the plus side he told me (repeatedly) that he loved me and that I was the best Mum in the world. He's not said that since he was about 6, so that was nice to hear after a fucking decade.

 

Just to start the revenge nice and early, I told him on the way home from hospital that he'd got his nob out in front of his mate's mum. It was a filthy lie, but it made me feel better.

[PestiRed]

Sixteen? He should be past the snakebite stage by now. Introduce him to a decent tipple and he'll vomit less

[littletedwest]

my mate rang me yesterday he went out Saturday got hammered . Got home threw all his change onto a bedside table along with a pack of condoms he bought.

 

Next morning his Mrs found them , he actually isn't the sort who cheats so all he can think is he bought them for a posh wank but she seemed reluctant believe that.

[General Dryness]

Been in A&E all night with 16 year old numb nuts, after he was poisoned by a snake bite, or ten. We're now home, I've cleaned Noah's flood in vomit from the kitchen floor, while he's snoring on the couch. I've got to stay awake to watch he doesn't choke, I'm fucking knackered and I've got shitloads to do tomorrow (or rather, today as it now is).

 

Just to top it off, they told me at the hospital that they're making a social services referral. Apparently it's standard where there's a kid with alcohol poisoning but it's still not what you want 3 days before Christmas.

 

On the plus side he told me (repeatedly) that he loved me and that I was the best Mum in the world. He's not said that since he was about 6, so that was nice to hear after a fucking decade.

 

Just to start the revenge nice and early, I told him on the way home from hospital that he'd got his nob out in front of his mate's mum. It was a filthy lie, but it made me feel better.

Rites of passage. Any mum worth her salt would have picked him up a brass on the way home from casualty.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

my mate rang me yesterday he went out Saturday got hammered . Got home threw all his change onto a bedside table along with a pack of condoms he bought.

 

Next morning his Mrs found them , he actually isn't the sort who cheats so all he can think is he bought them for a posh wank but she seemed reluctant believe that.

 

Fuck. That's a nightmare scenario. Technically he didn't do anything wrong but he's got to come up with some plausible excuse that she'll believe more than he was planning to cheat. In the mind of an insecure, paranoid woman, there aren't many. Understandably so.

[Jairzinho]

Whisky gonna whisky.

[skend04]

Just been put to shame by the old man. Picked him up from his brother's house where a bottle of vodka has been polished off in about 90 minutes. Now its all coming back up again. Strange seeing a bloke of 60 odd chucking like a teen.

[ZonkoVille77]

I'm fuckin pissed. Had the in laws over for a curry (always make o e before I get battered with turkey and ham) and lashed into the prosecco and bottles of cobra. I'm making baileys coffee's in a bit before having a JD honey and hitting the hay.

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

Drinking vodka. I think my legs have fallen off. Cunted myself right in the bastard.

[Jairzinho]

I'm in a bad way. Wrote something else a minute ago and couldn't work out how to post it.

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

I'm in a bad way. Wrote something else a minute ago and couldn't work out how to post it.

I'm eating peanuts to try to get me sober enough to wrap a fucking bicycle.

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

It won't work.

[Byrnie]

I thought o hit the hsppy Christmas thread on the timeline thing on tapatalk and ended up here. Happy Christmas everyone

[Byrnie]

*I thought I hit the happy Christmas*

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

I thought o hit the hsppy Christmas thread on the timeline thing on tapatalk and ended up here. Happy Christmas everyone

Iiiiiiittttttttsssssssss cccchhhhhrrrriiiiisssstttttttmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaassssssssssss

[Byrnie]

Hahahaha I've been shouting that the last hour.

[RoboRiise]

I'm fucking ruined and I have to start wrapping stuff up soon.  Not a b ike though, that fucker would be getting a bow stuck on the box and fuck anybody who had anything to say about it .

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

It's done. Need more drink.

 

Hate Christmas

[littletedwest]

pissed but I feel sick and want more beer. Grrrr

[RoboRiise]

I was just flicking through the tv channels, nice service on BBC1, carols on ITV.  Settled on 'My big breasts and me' on Really, unsurprisingly it's about women with big chebs.  It's what Jesus would have wanted.  Preparing for another raid on the Baileys, haven't started wrapping yet.  Fuck Christmas.

[Guest Super Sub]

Fucking been drinking Bacardi Spiced As well as Baileys and a shit load of Peroni feel fucked also just ate a pizza fuck am I going to feel rough as fuck tomorrow.

 

Got a cooked breakfast in the morning as well!

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[RoboRiise]

OK either I'm way more pissed than I thought or Film 4 +1 has vanished from my freeview completely. Cunts, I was going to watch The Raid but I missed the start of it, now no +1.  Meanwhile channel 5 seem to be taking over freeeview with about 18 different channels all of which are shit.  The fuck is wrong with this world, give me back my film4 +1 you fucking cunts.