10th anniversary of Facefuck

[Section_31]

It's useful for keeping in touch with mates abroad, I think the extent of its influence on psychology, behaviour, mental health and society - especially among the young - isn't fully understood yet though, it's got to be worth a few pages in someone's PHD. I could do it myself between cracking one off to Christina Milian.

[Dr Nowt]

It was, all said and done, the host venue for one of the GF's greatest triumphs (courtesy of s31 and Melons) - namely the State Funeral For Jade Goody page, which caught plenty of vacuous oxygen thieves until they realised it was a piss take.

 

That sounds absolutely sublime.  How would a Johnny-come-lately locate this?  Presume it would mean delving into the viper's nest itself?

 

Reading that put me in mind of this:

 

[celeryBADboy]

There's a funny one going round on it, Filming Make the weirdest strongest cocktail you can drink,  Down it, then nominate your friends to do better. My mate did about 7 shots of Famous Grouse, about 4 Gordons Gin a Spoon of Homemade marmite, A Bottle of Heineken a bottle of Becks topped up with Milk haha.

[Dr Nowt]

When scanning Google for the Franklin Mint picture above, this came up.  What the absolute fuck.

 

Anger over cartoon showing Jade Goody strangling Princess Diana

A CHANNEL 4 cartoon has sparked outrage by mocking tragic Jade Goody and Princess Diana.
    
By Ed Riley/Published 21st November 2012

 

The late Princess Diana was cruelly mocked in the cartoon

Viewers were shocked to see them strangling each other in an argument over who was the real “People’s Princess”.

Jade is brought back as a foul-mouthed ghost during a seance calling for a “great woman” in the scene in Full English on Channel 4.

Later the ghost of Princess Diana, killed in a Paris crash in 1997, appears, saying: “Sorry I’m late everyone.

“Had some car trouble – the traffic was absolute murder.”

Jade, who died of cervical cancer in 2009, then labels Diana a “bulimic slut” in reference to her eating disorder.

The Diana character calls Jade “baldy” before they grab each other around the throat.

Earlier, Jade makes tasteless jokes about the Shilpa Shetty racism row during Big Brother in 2007.

She says: “I call someone a poppadom and everybody hated me, then I got cancer and everyone loved me again.”

Telly watchdog Ofcom last night said they had received a number of complaints.

Outraged viewers took to Twitter and online forums to lay into the show.

Sam Jones said: “Disgusted the way Channel 4’s Full English took the piss out of the late Jade Goody.”

Sommer of Love said: “kiiiiiiiiiinda crossed the line with the Jade ghost joke.”

Channel 4 said appropriate warnings were given for the late-night cartoon, which was within viewers’ expectations.

[BCM]

When scanning Google for the Franklin Mint picture above, this came up.  What the absolute fuck.

 

Anger over cartoon showing Jade Goody strangling Princess Diana

 

A CHANNEL 4 cartoon has sparked outrage by mocking tragic Jade Goody and Princess Diana.

    

By Ed Riley/Published 21st November 2012

 

The late Princess Diana was cruelly mocked in the cartoon

 

Viewers were shocked to see them strangling each other in an argument over who was the real “People’s Princess”.

 

Jade is brought back as a foul-mouthed ghost during a seance calling for a “great woman” in the scene in Full English on Channel 4.

 

Later the ghost of Princess Diana, killed in a Paris crash in 1997, appears, saying: “Sorry I’m late everyone.

 

“Had some car trouble – the traffic was absolute murder.”

 

Jade, who died of cervical cancer in 2009, then labels Diana a “bulimic slut” in reference to her eating disorder.

 

The Diana character calls Jade “baldy” before they grab each other around the throat.

 

Earlier, Jade makes tasteless jokes about the Shilpa Shetty racism row during Big Brother in 2007.

 

She says: “I call someone a poppadom and everybody hated me, then I got cancer and everyone loved me again.”

 

Telly watchdog Ofcom last night said they had received a number of complaints.

 

Outraged viewers took to Twitter and online forums to lay into the show.

 

Sam Jones said: “Disgusted the way Channel 4’s Full English took the piss out of the late Jade Goody.”

 

Sommer of Love said: “kiiiiiiiiiinda crossed the line with the Jade ghost joke.”

 

Channel 4 said appropriate warnings were given for the late-night cartoon, which was within viewers’ expectations.

 

 

That was an excellent program that Full English

 

[Dr Nowt]

Superb mate.  I've actually found the cartoon now.

 

[Anubis]

That sounds absolutely sublime.  How would a johnny come lately locate this?  Presume it would mean delving into the viper's nest itself?

 

 

Here's a link to Section's post which links to the Facebook page. I think you'd have to have an account and it may well have been deleted.

 

http://www.liverpoolway.co.uk/index.php?/topic/58809-this-jade-goody/?p=1449415

[Dr Nowt]

Here's a link to Section's post which links to the Facebook page. I think you'd have to have an account and it may well have been deleted.

 

http://www.liverpoolway.co.uk/index.php?/topic/58809-this-jade-goody/?p=1449415

 

Cheers mate.  Both equal impediments to seeing it, but the thread itself is keeping me entertained. 

 

I've missed some stone cold brilliance on here over the years it seems.

[RedRazor]

Never registered on it, never will.  Bag o' shite.  Millions of adults with perfectly good social skills, allowing the long-standing healthy way in which they interact with friends and present themselves to the world, to be insidiously amended to mirror that of the nerdy, maladjusted children who designed it.

 

Like taking cues on how to dress yourself from C-3PO. 

So......... how do you know if you've never been on it?

 

I am in my fifties and think it is pretty fucking ace and wish it has been around for the last forty years. There are probably a hundred people who I would still be in touch with who I have completely lost contact with. I don't use it to collect "friends" like some appear to do, I have about thirty or so real friends and family on it and we use it to organise days/nights out. So much easier to post "we're off to xyz pub for the quiz anyone up for it" or "anyone fancy a wildy to Amsterdam in March?" than phone around twenty people. There are also a couple of people in my list who are a bit lonely and post all sorts of drivel about what they had for dinner or what  they watched on the telly but someone always replies and, I am sure, brightens their day a little. Sometimes I do too if I'm in the mood, sometimes I don't.

 

Besides, I am completely hooked on Candy Fucking Crush Fucking Saga. As soon as I get to the end I will reclaim my life.

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

So......... how do you know if you've never been on it?

 

I am in my fifties and think it is pretty fucking ace and wish it has been around for the last forty years. There are probably a hundred people who I would still be in touch with who I have completely lost contact with. I don't use it to collect "friends" like some appear to do, I have about thirty or so real friends and family on it and we use it to organise days/nights out. So much easier to post "we're off to xyz pub for the quiz anyone up for it" or "anyone fancy a wildy to Amsterdam in March?" than phone around twenty people. There are also a couple of people in my list who are a bit lonely and post all sorts of drivel about what they had for dinner or what they watched on the telly but someone always replies and, I am sure, brightens their day a little. Sometimes I do too if I'm in the mood, sometimes I don't.

 

Besides, I am completely hooked on Candy Fucking Crush Fucking Saga. As soon as I get to the end I will reclaim my life.

This. It's harmless, and can be useful. Don't agree with the Candy Crush bit though.

[Paulie Dangerously]

If I didn't have mates round the country and abroad I wouldn't bother.

 

I use it for dog pictures and keeping in touch

[Dr Nowt]

So......... how do you know if you've never been on it?

 

I am in my fifties and think it is pretty fucking ace and wish it has been around for the last forty years. There are probably a hundred people who I would still be in touch with who I have completely lost contact with. I don't use it to collect "friends" like some appear to do, I have about thirty or so real friends and family on it and we use it to organise days/nights out. So much easier to post "we're off to xyz pub for the quiz anyone up for it" or "anyone fancy a wildy to Amsterdam in March?" than phone around twenty people. There are also a couple of people in my list who are a bit lonely and post all sorts of drivel about what they had for dinner or what  they watched on the telly but someone always replies and, I am sure, brightens their day a little. Sometimes I do too if I'm in the mood, sometimes I don't.

 

Besides, I am completely hooked on Candy Fucking Crush Fucking Saga. As soon as I get to the end I will reclaim my life.

 

I completely understand the type of use you mention.  Good luck to you - it's not that sort of use I was really referring to, even if my initial post was a blanket dismissal.  However, the if you don't use something why does it bother you angle is flawed, is there nothing you don't do or use but still have an opinion on?  Facebook, along with various social media, smart phones and the like, have brought one of the biggest cultural shifts in the world at large of recent decades.  It would be impossible not to notice or be affected by it, even if indirectly.

 

People put your pictures and details of nights out on it.  You can't go out for a drink with a group of mates without half those present taking photos and sitting uploading them to it - no night's complete if you haven't shown it off.  People I bump into will say "I hear you did x y or z", baffling me how they knew until I find out it's been put up there.  Others sit in company regurgitating endless updates of who's kid didn't get into the school they wanted/couldn't get a space as someone had double-parked/was annoyed by "rude person in a shop", etc.  Often posted by someone they once sat next to at work 10 years ago. 

 

It's like going to a gig and watching the zombie hordes viewing it through their tablet, and therefore having to look at the sea of chrome and lights between yourself and the act you came to see.  You might not own an iPad, but it would be inaccurate to claim they have no effect on you.  It's the overall culture change, move away from present moment living, and indiscriminate way people use it to make public myriad things which used to stay private for a good reason, I was commenting on.  It's changed the way people behave all around us, therefore it's effect transcends personal choice to use the thing yourself or not.

[Section_31]

It's a good call about the filming thing. A lot of people only seem to do things with a view to how it will look on Facebook. When I went to Vegas I didn't take a camera and just let my mates do all the snapping because when I went to New York I spent so much time in the view finder I didn't actually look.

[stevebaby]

I'm with Red Razor. I've got a couple of dozen real actual friends and rels and it's good to stay in contact with them. Otherwise, I got hooked on Mob Wars lcn, one of the stupidest games ever devised.

All the rest of my so-called "friends"are mongs. I check my home page occasionally when I need a boost to my self-esteem because I know there are at least 1000 people in the world  who I am superior to in every way..

[Dr Nowt]

Know what you mean Section, remember being at Iguassu Falls and realising halfway round I'd not commited a single second to memory or viewed it through my own eyes.  Put the camera away then and decided whatever I didn't remember wasn't spectacular enough.  There were people everywhere passing on living in that actual moment for the lesser one they'd get at home.

 

It's very easily done with the best will in the world, but the pictures thing on Facebook has become like people selling themselves as a brand for maximum coolness factor.  Its bloody tedious, even if I am being a miserable prick about it, which I am.

[Jairzinho]

I have found Facebook far more palatable now that I've blocked stuff appearing on my news feed from about 85% of my friends list.

[Bjornebye]

Its good for photos, memories and keeping in touch with people you live away from however (and certainly i'm noticing it more and more) most people use it as some sort of 'fucking look at me' platform and for that I HATE IT. 

[Lee909]

I find it useful but then im not a twat that post one liners just to get a reaction.

'Depressed' just so other mouth breathing, oxygen stealing cunts can come out with the usual "whats up" etc etc.

 

One of my mates is in and out the country non stop. He seems to split most of his time between here and China then off to the U.S so its handy to be able to just leave him a message to pick up when he is able.

[RedKnight]

Because it never gets old.

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/leigh-clark/facebook-statuses_b_3043482.html

 

In the olden days, Facebook was a fun place to find out what old friends were were up to. A place to catch up with people you'd lost touch with and somewhere you would share a picture of your cute new kitten or your adorable puppy. Unfortunately, things changed, you were given access to things that your friends liked and your friends friends decided to add you because you kept popping up in their suggestions box and before you knew it, you were up to your eyeballs in people you barely knew or people that would add you but totally ignore you if you passed them in the street. These are the dark days of Facebook.

Gone are the kittens and puppies, they've been replaced by vomit inducing images of dogs being punched, roadkill, videos of children being punched on public transport, girls sucking on used tampons, kids stabbing their hands with knives, injuries, insults, masturbation and sexually suggestive selfies. It's a place for generating hatred, inciting witch-hunts and scare mongering. What happened Facebook? We used to be friends.

Over the years users have also developed a distinct lack of personality. Statuses generally follow a pattern made up of 'trendy' words and before you know it, everyone's coming out with the same old stuff. It's all one big competition, it's the Hunger Games of photographs and hyperbole and the modern day equivalent of gossiping over the garden fence and keeping up with the Joneses or Kardashiwotnots. Here are a few of the statuses responsible for the degeneration Facebook.

"Click 'Like' if..."

...You've lost someone to cancer, you want to find a cure for cancer, you love your daughter, you love your kids, you enjoy breathing, you like clicking like etc. Stop clicking like and fill a bag with old clothes and take it to a charity shop, give money to cancer research, tell your kids you love them to their face. Save the tip of your index finger and do something that will actually make a real difference.

"Time for a bubble bath and a large glass of champers methinks."

The word 'methinks' only ever appears on Facebook and is only ever used orally in those bizarre baby brothels where perverted old men go to wear nappies and get their bums wiped by an overweight prostitute in massive 80s glasses. Statuses like this allude to a lavish lifestyle, a lifestyle created by gossip magazines and Sex and the City, this is not how real people live their lives. In fact the truth behind this status is probably "Time for a quick flannel wash and a glass of Lambrini" but that wouldn't impress your "friends" would it?

"Anyone know the number for the Doctor's Surgery?"
"Anyone know the number for 999?"

If you can update your status, you can search for a telephone number. The above are desperate, attention seeking posts and require nothing more than the obligatory "Why what's up hun?" or "Hope everything's okay hunnii" or "I'm here if you need me hon" or... oh I can't be bothered but I know you know what I mean.

"Today I will be mostly..." and "...that is all."

These overused phrases appear to have replaced the nation's obsession with the word "random" which was badly overused for a couple of years by thousands of people who had never bothered to look up the definition of the word. It's a cocky and seemingly disinterested way of telling people what you're doing. Honestly, if you're that blasé about it, keep it to yourself.

"I would like to take this opportunity to wish Rihanna a happy 3rd birthday. Congratulations sweetie we are so proud of you. Love from Mum, Dad, Kev, Nana, Grandpa and Carol next door x"

Can baby Rihanna read? Does she have a Facebook account? "I'd like to take this opportunity"? Have you really been so busy that this is the only chance you've had to wish your daughter a happy birthday is through a Facebook account she can't read and has no access to?

See also: "Shakira, we have just been to your school open evening and your teacher said that you are the best in the whole school at absolutely everything. We are so proud of you. Love from Mum, Dad, Kev, Nana, Grandpa and Carol next door x"

Oh, stop showing off!

"Well Nana, it's been 7 years today since you died..."

Nana didn't use Facebook when she was alive so the chance of her being able to read this when she's been dead for seven years are pretty slim.

"#Bored.com"

For starters, why do people use hashtag on Facebook? It's completely superfluous and then there is nothing more boring than someone who is bored and nothing more criminal than sticking a .com after a word to describe your feelings.

"Rate me"

This is the dangerous one. Mainly because it encourages users to post pictures of themselves in their new clothes or hardly any clothes and then asks friends to rate the pictures and their figures. The problem here is users are appealing to their "friends" if you look awful they're not going to tell you because they're your friend and they don't want to upset you. So no matter how hideous you look, people will click "LIKE" and they will comment with things like "Beautiful Hunniiiiii".

Blatant vanity and a desperate appeal for compliments seems to carry absolutely no shame whatsoever and adding "I hate this picture" to the posted image won't fool anyone. If you genuinely hated it, you would press delete. Well done Facebook, you've created a monster, and a bloody ugly one to boot!

There are over 988,968 words in the English language but look at the above. You know someone who has used one, more or all of them or you yourself are guilty. I've not even touched upon the countless people who want you to know where they are, who they're with and what an "AMAAAAAZEBALLS" time they're having. Genuinely "good-time" situations have no place on Facebook as the thought of updating your status just wouldn't occur to you.

So, stop competing with your "friends", showing off and shamelessly seeking attention. Close down your Facebook account, get out there, live your life and remember how to have a REALLY good time with REAL people and If you happen to feel like you still need the occasional spurt of validation, you can always Instagram the shit out of your dinner, you're bound to get a "like" and maybe even a #nom. Don't get me started on NOM!

[Bjornebye]

'TKE ME BACK' - THROWBACKTHURSDAYS #ibizamemories

 

 

Yeah so you went to Ibiza in 2007? fuck you , telling people 7 years later does not make you queen of the balearics 

[Pony Princess]

[Boss]

I've never used it, I did have a Myspace account in my late teens, but then everyone was like "it's all about facebook now". Some joker created a fake profile of me and it's got loads of friends....but it isn't even me, I can't even be arsed telling them.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

It's the people who use it but constantly berate it and have an overwhelming cynicism about most aspects of it I don't get. It's like social media snobbery, yes that's ok, but that's not, you can post that, but don't post that.

 

Stop posting adverts facebook !!!!! but don't you dare charge me for using your service !!!!

 

stop posting things on my newsfeed that I don't like friends !!!! I don't care if I've chosen to be your friend on it and therefore given you right the right to do this !!!!

 

I know I have a choice not to click on your videos or read your statuses but god dam I'm going to anyway !!! and then complain about the fact I DID.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Don't get me wrong, I can't bare some aspects of it, people who add 'lfc' etc to there name, or put 'full time mummy' as there job profession, ridiculous, but people are stupid, very stupid, I have accepted this.

[Bjornebye]

It's the people who use it but constantly berate it and have an overwhelming cynicism about most aspects of it I don't get. It's like social media snobbery, yes that's ok, but that's not, you can post that, but don't post that.

 

Stop posting adverts facebook !!!!! but don't you dare charge me for using your service !!!!

 

stop posting things on my newsfeed that I don't like friends !!!! I don't care if I've chosen to be your friend on it and therefore given you right the right to do this !!!!

 

I know I have a choice not to click on your videos or read your statuses but god dam I'm going to anyway !!! and then complain about the fact I DID.

 

The other annoying ones are "next person to send me a game request is getting deleted"

 

I instantly wish I knew how the fuck to do it so I could send them one to see if they actually do.