Have a rant thread

[lifetime fan]

Just found a water leak from the upstairs flat, it's council owned and he's away at the moment.

 

Right pain in the cunt!

[Rico1304]

Just found a water leak from the upstairs flat, it's council owned and he's away at the moment.

 

Right pain in the cunt!

Get onto the counci, they are the landlords so will break in if they have to.

[lifetime fan]

Get onto the counci, they are the landlords so will break in if they have to.

Luckily it doesn't seem to be coming through anymore, council have said they'll have a locksmith out by noon.

[Bobby Hundreds]

People who breed the shit out of dogs. Not pets just money making machines, get them pregnant when they are barely pups themselves than bang 3 litters out of them before they fuck the dog off and start again. It's a cunts way to make money. 

[Dr Nowt]

Amen Bobby.

 

And, may I say, that particular post is beautifully juxtaposed with your signature.

[skend04]

Anyone noticed people around their gyms wearing tapered leg training pants that are baggy around the arse? What in the actual fuck?! Not only that, these hipsters are now trotting around the free weights area in flip fucking flops. I genuinely despair at the youth of today.

[lifetime fan]

People who breed the shit out of dogs. Not pets just money making machines, get them pregnant when they are barely pups themselves than bang 3 litters out of them before they fuck the dog off and start again. It's a cunts way to make money.

Brilliant post.

 

My old staff was a rescue, some fuckin scrote let her have a litter far too young. Unsurprisingly she needed a csection, cunt then abandoned her and left her without food and water as he didn't want her anymore as she was scarred.

[Jairzinho]

People mistreating animals makes me question my opinion on the death penalty.

[Tony Moanero]

.

[neko]

Why can't people find their seat on an airplane ?

 

It's pretty fucking simple  - the numbers go up in order as you go further into the plane, and you have letters (again, in order) for each row which correspond to your designated fucking seat.

 

Last flight from Mexico some clown had a completely over-sized carry-on bag stuffed to the limit, in addition to a guitar and a giant sombrero.....if only the windows would open in flight.

[Section_31]

Why can't people find their seat on an airplane ?

 

It's pretty fucking simple  - the numbers go up in order as you go further into the plane, and you have letters (again, in order) for each row which correspond to your designated fucking seat.

 

Last flight from Mexico some clown had a completely over-sized carry-on bag stuffed to the limit, in addition to a guitar and a giant sombrero.....if only the windows would open in flight.

 

Gotta be a comedy sketch in here somewhere. 

[neko]

Gotta be a comedy sketch in here somewhere. 

 

make it happen - you're the one with the gift for writing words down.

 

i'm a visual person  - I can easily imagine watching him and his guitar spinning to the ground from 38,000 ft. ....sombrero a few minutes behind due to aerodynamics. 

[Trumo]

Why can't people find their seat on an airplane ?

 

It's pretty fucking simple  - the numbers go up in order as you go further into the plane, and you have letters (again, in order) for each row which correspond to your designated fucking seat.

 

Last flight from Mexico some clown had a completely over-sized carry-on bag stuffed to the limit, in addition to a guitar and a giant sombrero.....if only the windows would open in flight.

 

Have YOU tried sneaking a Mariachi band onto a flight?

[easytoslip]

The other day I kicked the fuck out of the hoover , I was heard arguing with it by the neighbour , calling it a fuckin' cunt before lashing it down the stairs where it broke up and covered the place with dust and shite resembling ground zero .

It was a total falling down moment that had been brewing for ages , fuck hoovers , the way they look and the noise they make , cuntish things they are.

Now I've got to get a new one for fucksake.

[cloggypop]

I only ever fall out with computer printers. They are a right shower of cunts though.

[magicrat]

The other day I kicked the fuck out of the hoover , I was heard arguing with it by the neighbour , calling it a fuckin' cunt before lashing it down the stairs where it broke up and covered the place with dust and shite resembling ground zero .

It was a total falling down moment that had been brewing for ages , fuck hoovers , the way they look and the noise they make , cuntish things they are.

Now I've got to get a new one for fucksake.

He's a fucking twat that Henry with his big eyes and smiley face that's always laughing at you. You did a good thing call him out and give him a shoeing but time now for the pills and an early night mate. 

[easytoslip]

After I decided to go for a cooling down pint and at the bar was a laughing alky who kept on to shake my hand , he had cut himself and proceeded fo transfer his blood on my shirt.sleeve the cunt , the day went from bad.to worse then horrendous.

Then I went home to bed to live happily ever after, as if.

[Hades]

Imagine if the vacuum cleaner had been Polish. 

[easytoslip]

Why? Can't afford an au.pair , its not because I might be imagined.as.reading the mail or voting UKIP or any of that nonsense.iis at the ?

[lifetime fan]

Just found a water leak from the upstairs flat, it's council owned and he's away at the moment.

 

Right pain in the cunt!

Fucking wanker the council sent out tried to claim the leak and water damage hadn't come from upstairs.

 

Reckons it's within out flat and we'll have to pay to get it sorted, despite the council installing a new boiler and radiators upstairs this week.

 

Prick didn't have an answer when I asked him if he'd ever seen a water leak run up walls and damage a ceiling.

 

Why would the twat even give a shit about a bill that's probably going to be no more than a couple of hundred quid?

 

Just means I have to try and complain to the council on Monday too now.

 

Fucking arseholes.

[General Dryness]

After I decided to go for a cooling down pint and at the bar was a laughing alky who kept on to shake my hand , he had cut himself and proceeded fo transfer his blood on my shirt.sleeve the cunt , the day went from bad.to worse then horrendous.

Then I went home to bed to live happily ever after, as if.

[easytoslip]

Not quite the crushing hand shake as him

[Paulie Dangerously]

The French shopping experience.

 

I always defend the French, my inlaws are French and as warm, generous and caring people as you might meet.

 

For some reason if you put a Frenchman into a shop they become deranged lunatics. Some woman elbowed me out of the way to get first dibs on the tomatoes. It took all of my British stiff upper lip to pretend I hadn't noticed she'd done it. Trolleys pushed into other ones or left on an angle to block whole aisles. Arguments over who is next at the fish counter despite there being a numbered ticket system. It's chaos. Absolute chaos.

 

Imagine the worst "Saturday afternoon shop at Asda" you've ever had. Multiply it by 1000 and you're not even close.

 

 

[stringvest]

Imagine if the vacuum cleaner had been Polish.

Well it was a Slovac.

[VladimirIlyich]

Well it was a Slovac.

Ba Dum tish!