Have a rant thread

[ZonkoVille77]

This thread is going to get a fair few posts over the next few days with family warfare on the menu

[RedKnight]

Secondary position? 

I need it in the position its in to view traffic behind me, if I alter it I can't see as much!

 

I find mine is great for dimming knobheads behind and I can still see everything.

[Section_31]

Forgotten how much I hate Vernon Kay, he really is an absolute tit.

[ZonkoVille77]

Forgotten how much I hate Vernon Kay, he really is an absolute tit.

Yes!! He's a grade A 100 carrot cunt.

Talentless bag of dump.

[Carvalho Diablo]

My brother and his gf had to go to hospital with her 11 year old son last night, (apparently the daft twat twisted a testicle when wrestling with his dad). I was in the pub til late, straight out from work, but I had a few texts this morning from concerned mates asking about some "emergency operation" that they'd heard about from my brother's and his gf's facebook accounts !

 

Am I getting this all wrong here ? Perhaps it is the done thing; daft twat kid gets minor injury, wanker parents make mountain out of molehill on fucking facebook ? In my world this odious unsolicited narcissistic self-pity only makes me want to vomit.

 

Anybody who posts updates of every minute facile pointless occurrence  of their hollow spasticated spurious and pretentious existence wholly deserves to have their fucking testicles stamped on again and again and again and a-fucking-gain.

 

The little cunt only needs one anyway, ask Jimmy White.

[Section_31]

My brother and his gf had to go to hospital with her 11 year old son last night, (apparently the daft twat twisted a testicle when wrestling with his dad). I was in the pub til late, straight out from work, but I had a few texts this morning from concerned mates asking about some "emergency operation" that they'd heard about from my brother's and his gf's facebook accounts !

 

Am I getting this all wrong here ? Perhaps it is the done thing; daft twat kid gets minor injury, wanker parents make mountain out of molehill on fucking facebook ? In my world this odious unsolicited narcissistic self-pity only makes me want to vomit.

 

Anybody who posts updates of every minute facile pointless occurrence  of their hollow spasticated spurious and pretentious existence wholly deserves to have their fucking testicles stamped on again and again and again and a-fucking-gain.

 

The little cunt only needs one anyway, ask Jimmy White.

 

 

[VladimirIlyich]

My brother and his gf had to go to hospital with her 11 year old son last night, (apparently the daft twat twisted a testicle when wrestling with his dad). I was in the pub til late, straight out from work, but I had a few texts this morning from concerned mates asking about some "emergency operation" that they'd heard about from my brother's and his gf's facebook accounts !

 

Am I getting this all wrong here ? Perhaps it is the done thing; daft twat kid gets minor injury, wanker parents make mountain out of molehill on fucking facebook ? In my world this odious unsolicited narcissistic self-pity only makes me want to vomit.

 

Anybody who posts updates of every minute facile pointless occurrence of their hollow spasticated spurious and pretentious existence wholly deserves to have their fucking testicles stamped on again and again and again and a-fucking-gain.

 

The little cunt only needs one anyway, ask Jimmy White.

Can be a very serious injury if not dealt with quickly.

It did most likely go from the size of a molehill into a mountain in no time at all.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Can be a very serious injury if not dealt with quickly.

It did most likely go from the size of a molehill into a mountain in no time at all.

 

So let's dash to the hozzy...but only after we've shared the news with a bunch of bastards.

 

Facebook, AIDSbook, Shitbook. A odious demonstration of rampant cuntishness.

[PestiRed]

My brother and his gf had to go to hospital with her 11 year old son last night, (apparently the daft twat twisted a testicle when wrestling with his dad). I was in the pub til late, straight out from work, but I had a few texts this morning from concerned mates asking about some "emergency operation" that they'd heard about from my brother's and his gf's facebook accounts !

 

Am I getting this all wrong here ? Perhaps it is the done thing; daft twat kid gets minor injury, wanker parents make mountain out of molehill on fucking facebook ? In my world this odious unsolicited narcissistic self-pity only makes me want to vomit.

 

Anybody who posts updates of every minute facile pointless occurrence of their hollow spasticated spurious and pretentious existence wholly deserves to have their fucking testicles stamped on again and again and again and a-fucking-gain.

 

The little cunt only needs one anyway, ask Jimmy White.

I'm pretty sure it's every 11 year old boy's nightmare to have his family posting Facebook updates on the state of his testicles every 30 minutes. You might want to point this out to them

[VladimirIlyich]

So let's dash to the hozzy...but only after we've shared the news with a bunch of bastards.

 

Facebook, AIDSbook, Shitbook. A odious demonstration of rampant cuntishness.

I didnt realise the morons did this BEFORE going to the hospital,let alone afterwards.

Social media has its uses but this is far from one of them.

[lifetime fan]

Christmas e-mails at work.

 

They started about four fucking weeks ago, you know the ones 'If I don't speak to you before Christmas have a great time & a happy New Year' blah blah blah. Fuck off, I speak to you every day you bellend, I got copied in on one just now that was like, 'You're a useless cunt, you've done this wrong, that wrong, why has this taken six months etc etc, Have a great Christmas when it comes.'. I can just see it next year, 'Dear Mook, you're sacked, Merry Chirstmas & a happy New Year.'.

 

Reason number 3,105,196 to hate Christmas, a load of absolute bollocks.

Try cunt managers who refuse to work Christmas and let someone else have it off, but insist on coming in for 5 hours poisoning the atmosphere, insisting she makes bread sauce despite no one liking it, being a general cunt and most importantly pissing me off.

 

Stupid fucking slag.

[lifetime fan]

Christmas e-mails at work.

 

They started about four fucking weeks ago, you know the ones 'If I don't speak to you before Christmas have a great time & a happy New Year' blah blah blah. Fuck off, I speak to you every day you bellend, I got copied in on one just now that was like, 'You're a useless cunt, you've done this wrong, that wrong, why has this taken six months etc etc, Have a great Christmas when it comes.'. I can just see it next year, 'Dear Mook, you're sacked, Merry Chirstmas & a happy New Year.'.

 

Reason number 3,105,196 to hate Christmas, a load of absolute bollocks.

Try cunt managers who refuse to work Christmas and let someone else have it off, but insist on coming in for 5 hours poisoning the atmosphere, insisting she makes bread sauce despite no one liking it, being a general cunt and most importantly pissing me off.

 

Stupid fucking slag.

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

What is it with people who buy other people lynx box sets? Might as well say 'look, I don't give enough of a crap to buy you something you might like so I got you something I didn't have to think about but only because I was fucking obligated to'?

[lifetime fan]

What is it with people who buy other people lynx box sets? Might as well say 'look, I don't give enough of a crap to buy you something you might like so I got you something I didn't have to think about but only because I was fucking obligated to'?

My nan buys me a Lynx boxset every Christmas and birthday.

[VladimirIlyich]

My nan buys me a Lynx boxset every Christmas and birthday.

She hates you Col.

[Sugar Ape]

What is it with people who buy other people lynx box sets? Might as well say 'look, I don't give enough of a crap to buy you something you might like so I got you something I didn't have to think about but only because I was fucking obligated to'?

Er, just bin that pressie from me mate. Don't open it.

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

My nan buys me a Lynx boxset every Christmas and birthday.

The bitch.

[Section_31]

What is it with people who buy other people lynx box sets? Might as well say 'look, I don't give enough of a crap to buy you something you might like so I got you something I didn't have to think about but only because I was fucking obligated to'?

Haha I've got one too, Lynx is the government's way of keeping teenage pregnancy rates down.

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

Er, just bin that pressie from me mate. Don't open it.

I did anyway, mate.

 

Nah, I'm just pissed off today. To be honest, I'm just a bit of a miserable cunt. Spending time with the family fucks me off after a few hours. Kids buzzing about everywhere, pretending to like presses and other people.

 

I just want to be called a cunt and told to fuck off because I'm a spastic. TLW withdrawal. Fucking real world, with real people.

 

Actually, just this second somebody just handed me a vodka and lime and said 'try this turkey'. Fuck you lot of spazzy cunts, these lot aren't so bad after all.

[Rico1304]

I did anyway, mate.

Nah, I'm just pissed off today. To be honest, I'm just a bit of a miserable cunt. Spending time with the family fucks me off after a few hours. Kids buzzing about everywhere, pretending to like presses and other people.

I just want to be called a cunt and told to fuck off because I'm a spastic. TLW withdrawal. Fucking real world, with real people.

Actually, just this second somebody just handed me a vodka and lime and said 'try this turkey'. Fuck you lot of spazzy cunts, these lot aren't so bad after all.

Ha ha ha

[JagSquared]

Haha I've got one too, Lynx is the government's way of keeping teenage pregnancy rates down.

Why is lifetimes nan buying you prezzies?

 

 

Awkward...

[Section_31]

Why is lifetimes nan buying you prezzies?

 

 

Awkward...

Please, I'm old enough to be Col's grandad.

 

Oh wait..

[Adebisi]

I did anyway, mate.

 

Nah, I'm just pissed off today. To be honest, I'm just a bit of a miserable cunt. Spending time with the family fucks me off after a few hours. Kids buzzing about everywhere, pretending to like presses and other people.

 

I just want to be called a cunt and told to fuck off because I'm a spastic. TLW withdrawal. Fucking real world, with real people.

 

Actually, just this second somebody just handed me a vodka and lime and said 'try this turkey'. Fuck you lot of spazzy cunts, these lot aren't so bad after all.

You sure they weren't calling you a turkey? 

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

You sure they weren't calling you a turkey?

Haha. I try to hide the comma.

[manwiththestick]

Compo chasing wankers. Just reading on the BBC about Xbox and Playstation online services being hacked resulting in bit of disruption. Cue some slag from Essex going on about how her kid is in taers and hasn't stopped crying all day and it's the worst Christmas ever and that Microsoft should compensate them.

 

Now I'm all for sticking it to the corporates but seriously if young Jaycenn has had a crappy Christmas just because he cant play a bit of call of duty then you as parents are at fault. Fucking dullards.