The world of a woman.

[jfk]

To quote from As Good As It Gets...

 

Receptionist: How do you write women so well?

Melvin Udall: I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.

[Total Longo]

You might be on to something there but every woman I've ever lived with has been shocking for having everything on all the time.

 

You're talking about energy sources here, right? 

[Chip Butty]

The rough guide to electricity by a woman.

 

Step One, ensure that all lights are on at all times

Step Two, ensure that all heating & hot water is on at all times

Step Three, ensure that the bloke pays the bills for said heating, lighting & hot water.

They also have a fabulous grasp of water as well....."What? The bathroom water is the same water as the kitchen water!... you're winding me up again aren't you."

 

*she exits and goes down stairs to get a glass of water*

[PestiRed]

"Stop wasting water" as I run the water whilst brushing my teeth. Shortly before she runs her evening bath that continually has water flowing because it feels nice and the way our bathroom is designed, the excess water runs over the bath and through a drain in the floor

[Bobby Hundreds]

That's obscene what's she doing filming a fucking flake advert.

[General Dryness]

Not all the time

 

You're finally getting the hang of this place.

 

About fucking time.

[Champ]

You're finally getting the hang of this place.

 

About fucking time.

I can only play what's put in front of me

[General Dryness]

I can only play what's put in front of me

 

And the hits keep coming.

[Champ]

And the hits keep coming.

That's what you wanted wasn't it?

[General Dryness]

That's what you wanted wasn't it?

 

Yep. Can't access porn at work so I rely on you for fap ammo.

[peter burgess]

In the car on the motorway at the weekend, driving past a field of cows.

15 year old daughter " I only found out the other day that cows are girls, I thought they were girls and boys"

Mrs B " god, even I knew that, they're like crocodiles, crocodiles are girls and alligators are boys"

[Champ]

Its the reverse in ours. And guess who pays all the household bills? Funny that

 

What did I say wrong, CD?

[Carvalho Diablo]

What did I say wrong, CD?

 

Not a thing Champy, I meant to neg you on accident.

[General Dryness]

What did I say wrong, CD?

 

He clearly negged you for saying something we couldn't make a double entendre out of.

 

Keep up.

[General Dryness]

I have now rectumfied the sitchamation.

[Carvalho Diablo]

He clearly negged you for saying something we couldn't make a double entendre out of.

 

Keep up.

 

But because I'm a sexist pig I accidentally negged her on purpose instead.

 

Doh.

[Champ]

Not a thing Champy, I meant to neg you on accident.

 

Oh, ok.

 

I would like to say that when I said that I pay the bills I meant do the paying rather than providing all the money to pay the damn things. It wasnt meant to sound arsey.

[Champ]

He clearly negged you for saying something we couldn't make a double entendre out of.

 

Keep up.

 

He clearly negged you for saying something we couldn't make a double entendre out of.

 

Keep up.

 

Isnt that what you lot are meant to do?

 

 

 

You know the forum Police dont like it

[Spy Bee]

A woman I work with wasn't there today when I got back. When I asked where she was it turned out that she had gone home because "her sister's dog had died!". I was a bit taken aback by this so enquired further. A quote she issued about her sister before she left was "I don't think she will be able to cope!".

 

It later turns out that her sister has a tattoo on her ankle with the dog's name on it! A tattoo on your actual skin with the name of your dog on it! What the fucking fuck is that all about?

[Carvalho Diablo]

Oh, ok.

 

I would like to say that when I said that I pay the bills I meant do the paying rather than providing all the money to pay the damn things. It wasnt meant to sound arsey.

 

You didn't. No probs.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Isnt that what you lot are meant to do?

 

 

 

You know the forum Police dont like it

 

[PestiRed]

A woman I work with wasn't there today when I got back. When I asked where she was it turned out that she had gone home because "her sister's dog had died!". I was a bit taken aback by this so enquired further. A quote she issued about her sister before she left was "I don't think she will be able to cope!".

 

It later turns out that her sister has a tattoo on her ankle with the dog's name on it! A tattoo on your actual skin with the name of your dog on it! What the fucking fuck is that all about?

Get a dog, you'll start to have some sympathy with the tattoo thing and grief over them. Dogs are mostly better than family.

 

Taking compassionate leave for someone else's dog is a bit much though

[Remmie]

Reminds me of how a bird at work kept on getting personal calls and eventually left work because her mum couldn't hope with cat sitting her cat. The lady manager accepted her explanation and let her go

[Ginny]

A woman I work with wasn't there today when I got back. When I asked where she was it turned out that she had gone home because "her sister's dog had died!". I was a bit taken aback by this so enquired further. A quote she issued about her sister before she left was "I don't think she will be able to cope!".

 

It later turns out that her sister has a tattoo on her ankle with the dog's name on it! A tattoo on your actual skin with the name of your dog on it! What the fucking fuck is that all about?

To be fair that could just be the tip of the iceberg. If someone told me their sister had a tatoo of a dog on their body then they obviously see the dog as a member of the family. Grief can hit hard over pets. Plus anyone with a tatoo of their pet is obviously a bit unstable so she could have depression or found out she couldn't have kids so she gr a dog etc... Things are never as it seems when it comes to family's. Family first - work comes second.

[Rico1304]

I've mentioned on here before that a women my mum works with had a few months off when her dog died, the eventually got her back in work and on her first day so someone asked about the dog and she walked out for another couple of months.

 

I've also got a mate who's dad died and he was off for a week. When he got back a woman took him aside and said 'I know how you feel, my dog died last year'