peter burgess

Morrisons tills where time stands still

So we're watching the start of big brother the other night and David Gest comes on Mrs. " who's that" Me. " David gest I think he's to do with the music industry in America " Mrs. " is he gay?" Me. " I don't think so I think he was married to Liza Minelli" Mrs. " is Liza Minelli a fella" Later on Angie Bowie comes on Mrs. " who's that" Me. " Angie Bowie she was married to David Bowie" Mrs. " who's David Bowie" If you haven't been on the Kardashians she hasn't a clue

In the car on the motorway at the weekend, driving past a field of cows. 15 year old daughter " I only found out the other day that cows are girls, I thought they were girls and boys" Mrs B " god, even I knew that, they're like crocodiles, crocodiles are girls and alligators are boys"

Mrs was watching programme about Joan rivers last night and said " she must have filmed this before she died"

John Barnes v Spurs at anfield about '88,tight game towards the end of the campaign we needed to win to go top as i remember and spurs were up there too.On about the hour Barnes was put through and as the keeper advanced he slipped it under him right footed from just outside the box,the Kop went fuckin bananas.

UTM make some space in your PM's

If you are in the cabbage tomorrow i'll be in there about 5mins after my nose

I might be your dad,if you're going bald and have a big nose,welcome to the family son

Right lets have a straightner in the Cabbage after the match,ill be the one in the 3 star jumper

Aw come on lads,its not my fault i fell for a manc loving wooly from WA1.FYI Warringtojn is half lfc and half manc with a few bitters thrown in for fun,having said that it is a little one horse,cow kecks,sheep shagging hole.

Graham poll in one half,Mike Riley in the other

I know that any shot you hit went wide,either that or you had fuckin big bags

We were talking about this in work today,i'm not a big fan of t.v replays although as soon as the descisions start going against us i'm sure i'll change my mind,one thing that hasn't been mentioned though is the possibilty of using 2 refs,one in each half or 2 linesmen on each side of the pitch,each with responsibility up to the halfway line,i believe the f.a mentined this a while back but i dont know if they have ever had a trial

Paul are you seriously saying that because clough "apologised"thats o.k,but you despise bates,if he apologised would that be o.k?

Rob Jones?