The world of a woman.

[ZonkoVille77]

Missus has the hump cos I got in at 6.30 good morn. Fine, maybe I should have got home earlier. But..

 

Footy on the GF.. I got to meet and play a game of footy with Alan Kennedy and watched the Derby with him. Such a highlight and a reason I was bladdered. You'd think she let me have this one but no, has to make an issue of it. Then...

 

Goes and tells me she's bought a new couch for 1200 quid while I was out yesterday and expects me not to be annoyed?! Fuckin mental bitches.

[Captain Turdseye]

She thinks buying me a kebab is gonna get her away with saying sorry,she has another thing coming

Garlic bread?

[Trumo]

She thinks buying me a kebab is gonna get her away with saying sorry,she has another thing coming

 

If she gets it with mayo, binbag the bitch.

[Bjornebye]

This fucking woman in our work. Size 18 easily (which is fine if she didn't fucking moan about it), all she does is eat. I noticed this morning she was eating a bar of chocolate before 9am and I heard her open a can of fizzy drink around the same time. No doubt she has a breakfast before this as well. She has been talking about what she is having for lunch for the last half an hour and I walked past her desk a few minutes ago and she is drinking a fucking pasta mug-shot. Its just constant feeding, i'm going to start calling her 'Labrador'.

 

On a separate note, I went the pictures with the missus on Friday night to see American sniper. I don't know if it was the fact I had just finished work or the fact as I am in the dog-house she booked the cinema so I wouldn't go for a pint after work.. but everything she did annoyed me. The way she ordered our food, the way she needed a separate pot for her cheese as she doesn't like they way they melt onto the nacho's, the fucking seats she picked for us, her wanting my coat on her knees because she was cold yet is getting fucking crumbs everywhere, the way she was wolfing down the nacho's like a pig because she had been looking forward to them so much, the fact that driving home she turned right without giving way to on-coming traffic after the lights and when she noticed a 7 seater taxi flying towards us she put the brakes on instead of putting her foot down and nearly killing us.....

 

Im a right miserable cunt.

[Fowlers God]

This fucking woman in our work. Size 18 easily (which is fine if she didn't fucking moan about it), all she does is eat. I noticed this morning she was eating a bar of chocolate before 9am and I heard her open a can of fizzy drink around the same time. No doubt she has a breakfast before this as well. She has been talking about what she is having for lunch for the last half an hour and I walked past her desk a few minutes ago and she is drinking a fucking pasta mug-shot. Its just constant feeding, i'm going to start calling her 'Labrador'.

 

On a separate note, I went the pictures with the missus on Friday night to see American sniper. I don't know if it was the fact I had just finished work or the fact as I am in the dog-house she booked the cinema so I wouldn't go for a pint after work.. but everything she did annoyed me. The way she ordered our food, the way she needed a separate pot for her cheese as she doesn't like they way they melt onto the nacho's, the fucking seats she picked for us, her wanting my coat on her knees because she was cold yet is getting fucking crumbs everywhere, the way she was wolfing down the nacho's like a pig because she had been looking forward to them so much, the fact that driving home she turned right without giving way to on-coming traffic after the lights and when she noticed a 7 seater taxi flying towards us she put the brakes on instead of putting her foot down and nearly killing us.....

 

Im a right miserable cunt.

It's.not being miserable it's about wanting things done your way, the right way! Thank fuck I'm off out this afternoon on a course.working away for the rest of the week

[Carvalho Diablo]

Nacho's in the cinema. She couldn't have possibly found a more noisy foodstuff to consume.

[Bjornebye]

They were gone before the trailers started. Much to my annoyance.

[JagSquared]

Bin bag her, lad.

[Captain Turdseye]

The nachos they sell at the cinema shouldn't even be allowed to be called nachos.

 

Proper rank.

[Bjornebye]

I agree John. And the cheese is like rubber. Still.. she fucking loves them the cunt.

 

I wouldn't mind but she makes fucking boss nacho's at home, i'd have much preferred to go the supermarket and get all the food in for nacho's, hot-dogs etc, rent a decent film and get an hour long suck treat. But no, the hell of that particular pictures experience and a near fatal accident was on her mind instead. Why did I go the fucking pub again on Monday.

[VladimirIlyich]

Bin bag her, lad.

Have you seen her tits?

Lets not be too hasty.

[JagSquared]

No, are there pics available. This may have an impact on my advice.

[Captain Turdseye]

No, are there pics available. This may have an impact on my advice.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, posts pictures of their birds tits on the MF.

 

£24 a year.

[matt1983]

We had a box of prawn cocktail crisps go by past their sell by date at work the other week, so they come off sale and the staff eat them. My receptionist turned up for work complaining she was hungry, so I pointed out the crisps, but told her "to be careful because out of date seafood can be dodgy".

 

"Oh yeah" she said, sadly, and didn't eat any. She was recently demoted.

[Remmie]

I bought my brother a toilet in India that you "twin" with your shitter. It's an amusing and fun charidee present and you have the toilet picture framed in your shithouse. But his missus doesn't like it. I'm wondering what possible problem you can have with it! Women.

 

[Paulie Dangerously]

Something on about moving to Australia today on telly and they spoke about people seeking fortune there like since its discovery

 

"Catherine Cook discovered Australia? I'm reading one of hers on my kindle!"

[lifetime fan]

Looking at her faceaids this morning...

 

Her: You can't buy belts this weekend.

Me: What? Shut up and let me sleep.

H: Because there's so many men comitting suicide tomorrow shops aren't allowed to sell belts this weekend.

M: It's a good job you've a pretty face and great tits.

[Bjornebye]

Should have told her they have sold out of flowers and all

[lifetime fan]

Should have told her they have sold out of flowers and all

I've asked for a belt.

[VladimirIlyich]

I've asked for a belt.

I think you'll get one!

Not for holding up your kecks though.

[Bjornebye]

Wahey

 

[Furmedge]

She looks ecstatic to have taken you back in.

[Mook]

To be fair to her, that's the face I make when I see people taking selfies.

[stringvest]

she's wondering why he's wearing her top

[Trumo]

She looks like you just woke her up. I bet it was VERY similar to these: