What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[skend04]

18 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Lovely home cooked, meat-free brunch here. 

 

2 quorn sausage patties 

6 slices of halloumi "bacon"

Tofu scramble: best one I've made so far

Grilled chestnut mushrooms 

Turkish bread

 

Excuse the dirty tablecloth, I couldn't be arsed changing it before I ate my delicious food. 

 

Haters gonna hate. 

 

It's amazing what you can do with cardboard and a bit of free time. Now, where's the edible stuff?

[Trumo]

I'm just struggling to fathom how all these full English's cost the best part of a tenner yet consist mostly of half a tin of beans. Then I remember the voting habits of the majority of this country and it all makes sense.

[Barrington Womble]

11 hours ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

Full English Cyprus €8.99. The toast was as white as anything I've ever seen yet at the same time broke like a cracker, which was a cute touch.

Were you in the Turkish side and that's some type of turkey bacon? 

 

The eggs look alright though.

[Remmie]

I'm off to an all inclusive in Lanzarote tomorrow and heard they do an English breakfast. Will be interesting to see how shite they can be. I'll post a review if so, might have to smuggle a conker through customs. 

[Bjornebye]

I still can’t believe Zeek had the nerve to post that 

[Chip Butty]

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides, by wank breakfasts

by the inequities of shite cooks and the tyranny of awful ingredients.....

[YorkshireRed]

12 hours ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

Full English Cyprus €8.99. The toast was as white as anything I've ever seen yet at the same time broke like a cracker, which was a cute touch.

Yesterday morning I gave the Cypriot government a final note stating that unless I heard from them by 11 o'clock that they were prepared to remove the title ‘Full English’ from that breakfast atrocity, a state of war would exist between us. I have to tell you now that no such undertaking has been received, and that consequently I am now at war with Cyprus.

[Mudface]

Just now, YorkshireRed said:

Yesterday morning I gave the Cypriot government a final note stating that unless I heard from them by 11 o'clock that they were prepared to remove the title ‘Full English’ from that breakfast atrocity, a state of war would exist between us. I have to tell you now that no such undertaking has been received, and that consequently I am now at war with Cyprus.

 

[Curly]

£5.95. Just fuck off, the lot of you.

 

 

[Trumo]

Bean juice and tomato juice with a garnish of hash brown and sausage. They might as well have chucked it all in a blender and served it with a straw.

[YorkshireRed]

11 minutes ago, belarus said:

£5.95. Just fuck off, the lot of you.

 

 

I’d rather dip those sausages in the coffee than that tomato shite. 

[Tony Moanero]

47 minutes ago, belarus said:

£5.95. Just fuck off, the lot of you.

 

 

Cunt paper cup.

 

[Tony Moanero]

“If we lash the toast on the same plate as the fry-up, do you think people will notice there’s no black pudding?”

[Ezekiel 25:17]

3 hours ago, Barrington Womble said:

Were you in the Turkish side and that's some type of turkey bacon? 

 

The eggs look alright though.

Ayia Napa,  believe it or not that gaff has got proper boss ratings and reviews.

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, belarus said:

£5.95. Just fuck off, the lot of you.

 

 

Fuck me that’s Les Battersbys death row meal 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

6 hours ago, Shooter in the Motor said:

What is that red blob on top of the bacon? And why does it look like the knife has already been used, yet the plate is intact?

Ketchup and I buttered the crackers with it.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

2 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

I still can’t believe Zeek had the nerve to post that 

I'm feeling the love.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

A couple of interesting quirks from the Russians at our hotel, one of them was putting butter and raisins in their coffee, another fella order a pint of half lager half cappuccino,  and another had half lager half red wine.

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

A couple of interesting quirks from the Russians at our hotel, one of them was putting butter and raisins in their coffee, another fella order a pint of half lager half cappuccino,  and another had half lager half red wine.

The lager and red wine fella could put a ciggy out in his pint and it will still be more appealing than that fucking breakfast you got 

[TheHowieLama]

14 hours ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

Full English Cyprus €8.99. The toast was as white as anything I've ever seen yet at the same time broke like a cracker, which was a cute touch.

 

7 hours ago, Captain Willard said:

The title could be “Stig in search of a dump”

 

That occurred to me at 5 am when I was having yet another nocturnal piss. 

Belongs here - it's shite:

 

 

[Evelyn Tentions]

33 minutes ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

A couple of interesting quirks from the Russians at our hotel, one of them was putting butter and raisins in their coffee, another fella order a pint of half lager half cappuccino,  and another had half lager half red wine.

If you want revolting, try Vietnamese egg coffee. I did. Once.

[Carvalho Diablo]

A late breakfast:

 

Branston beans & sausages with 3 fried eggs, strong cheddar and saracha hot sauce.

 

The plate is for Tony.

 

[Jairzinho]

[Bob]

On 03/10/2021 at 11:45, belarus said:

£5.95. Just fuck off, the lot of you.

 

 

Get the toast back in for another minute and you’ve got yourself a smasher. Nice job. 
 

a bigger plate to give everything a bit of room to exist, and a China mug for your brew, and you’d be fully set.

[Bjornebye]

2 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

A late breakfast:

 

Branston beans & sausages with 3 fried eggs, strong cheddar and saracha hot sauce.

 

The plate is for Tony.

 

Wh.a.......