Spiders

[Guest simon]

These help, apparently.....

 

They do but im not sure about big fucking monsters like half of those fuckers.

[Pony Princess]

Bit of a weird year on the old spider front this year. The cold spring seemed to stunt their little spider babies but now it is warmer they will surely be back in force.

 

Any spider action going on? I had a nice one in my bedroom for a few weeks which set up a web in the corner, fun to watch but truth be told it was going nowhere - no flies in my room. Came in from work one day and the eight-legged mong had spun a web from his corner to my bed and I wasn't happy about that so out into the yard he went.

 

Seen a big one in the spare room earlier, house spider, massive. Couldn't be arsed removing it. He'll turn up later climbing on my balls or something no doubt.

 

Any good spider stories lately?

[Fugitive]

Spiders are class and I've never had any fear of them. I'm guessing that stems from my mates brother having a Tarantula when I was about 8 or 9 and regularly handling it. There was a massive spider in work the other day and the lads screamed louder than the birds. It was fucking embarrassing but it made me look even better when I picked it up and threw it out the window. I felt harder than Rambo and I know it made the birds wet to see such a fearless act.

[Pony Princess]

Spiders are class and I've never had any fear of them. I'm guessing that stems from my mates brother having a Tarantula when I was about 8 or 9 and regularly handling it. There was a massive spider in work the other day and the lads screamed louder than the birds. It was fucking embarrassing but it made me look even better when I picked it up and threw it out the window. I felt harder than Rambo and I know it made the birds wet to see such a fearless act.

 

 

Nothing worse than seeing guys squealing like girls when they see a spider. They are boss eight legged chums who eat flies and other annoying shit. A house with a spider-bro is a clean house.

 

 

[Guest The Big Green Bastard]

Epic fight in my shed earlier between a wasp and spider.

 

The wasp took the center of the ring whilst the spider circled. The wasp didn't even get the chance to sting it's opponent before the spider sank it's fangs in from at least 4 different angles. The last fang attack went straight into the wasps head.

I then decided to referee the fight properly and broke up the holding with a lighter and wood polish.

The wasp took a good half hour to die with it's insides slowly being eaten away by the poison, the spider was nowhere to be seen after pussying out from the intense heat blast i gave him/her.

 

It was a fair fight and i defeated them both. Hooray for me!

[Pony Princess]

Epic fight in my shed earlier between a wasp and spider.

 

The wasp took the center of the ring whilst the spider circled. The wasp didn't even get the chance to sting it's opponent before the spider sank it's fangs in from at least 4 different angles. The last fang attack went straight into the wasps head.

I then decided to referee the fight properly and broke up the holding with a lighter and wood polish.

The wasp took a good half hour to die with it's insides slowly being eaten away by the poison, the spider was nowhere to be seen after pussying out from the intense heat blast i gave him/her.

 

It was a fair fight and i defeated them both. Hooray for me!

 

Wasps are cunts, think about it this way mate: Are any more wasps going to go in your shed and play the big man, acting like they own the place? Keep that spider in there lad, sounds like they don't take no guff from wasps.

 

Also, hurting animals with lighters and flammable liquids is one of the first signs of sociopathy, tut tut.

[Fugitive]

Epic fight in my shed earlier between a wasp and spider.

 

The wasp took the center of the ring whilst the spider circled. The wasp didn't even get the chance to sting it's opponent before the spider sank it's fangs in from at least 4 different angles. The last fang attack went straight into the wasps head.

I then decided to referee the fight properly and broke up the holding with a lighter and wood polish.

The wasp took a good half hour to die with it's insides slowly being eaten away by the poison, the spider was nowhere to be seen after pussying out from the intense heat blast i gave him/her.

 

It was a fair fight and i defeated them both. Hooray for me!

 

You had to use weapons?!?!?! A real man would have crushed them with his bare hands.

[Guest The Big Green Bastard]

Spiders are not animals, therefore it is ok to torture the fuck out of them with magnifying glasses,lighters and whatever implement is at hand.

[Guest The Big Green Bastard]

You had to use weapons?!?!?! A real man would have crushed them with his bare hands.

 

Fuck that! big spidery cunt he was with rabid fangs, must have been at least 2ft radius*

 

 

*slight exaggeration*

[Pony Princess]

Spiders are not animals, therefore it is ok to torture the fuck out of them with magnifying glasses,lighters and whatever implement is at hand.

 

Not sure if wumming but bad karma lid, very bad karma.

 

[Redder Lurtz]

You know that night next year when I was gonna come round to yours and get leathered and watch Eurovision, PP?

 

Not gonna happen. You spider harbouring bastard.

[Pony Princess]

You know that night next year when I was gonna come round to yours and get leathered and watch Eurovision, PP?

 

Not gonna happen. You spider harbouring bastard.

 

How about if I put them all in a shoe box when you come round? You won't even know they are there. Dang man, we can make this work!

[Fugitive]

Fuck him off, the shit house. I'll come around and we can dress up as ABBA whilst commanding our Spider army.

[Redder Lurtz]

Hell bum you Fuge. Don't say I didn't warn you.

[Pony Princess]

C'mon now guys, spiders or not, there is plenty of me to go around.

[Pony Princess]

Fuck him off, the shit house. I'll come around and we can dress up as ABBA whilst commanding our Spider army.

 

If you come round, and Lurtz does too we have 3 of ABBA but we need the fourth to make is special. Who will it be?

[Redder Lurtz]

I am not, repeat NOT spit roasting PP.

 

[Fugitive]

Hell bum you Fuge. Don't say I didn't warn you.

 

Nah, we'll be too busy commanding our Spider Army.

[Trumo]

Why do these cunts always loiter around the bathtub in the morning? I know they're probably hungry and looking for other insects but I've never seen any other insects loitering around the bathtub. Stupid fuckers. If I'm hungry and want to go out to eat, B&Q and Homebase aren't the first places I think of.

[Total Longo]

Maybe they just want to be flushed down the plughole so they can go "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" as they go.

[VladimirIlyich]

No problem with them at all.

No poisonous ones here in the UK and are easy enough to flush away and will most likely survive the water too.

 

If you lived in Australia,parts of S.America,Asia and Africa then you have every right to be scared but not in the UK.

I'd rather have the spiders than flies,you pussies.

[Stickman]

Spiders are fucking boss and evil fuckers too.....they way they eat other insects is pretty gruesome and especially if it those dirty fucking bluebottles they are doing it too then even better...

[Stouffer]

I saw some enormous bastard in Kenya. I was stopping in a hut with a straw roof and they were everywhere. I had that mozzy net tucked in tighter than a Nun's minge.

[JohnnyH]

Spiders are cunts.  And they think we're cunts too.  It's just not meant to be and we should stay as far apart as possible. Like Sonny and Cher.

[Bjornebye]

I fucking hate them. Ugly snarling sneaky hanging bastards.