The Official Cricket Thread

[Jairzinho]

8 hours ago, Remmie said:

All the focus seems to be on that declaration in the first test but the lack of one in the last test when we knew bad weather was going to have a significant affect on the rest of the match was the most shocking decision. Where was fucking bazball then? 

 

That was Bazball. 

 

Over indulgent, smelling yourself, style over substance, pretending you're above wanting to win, moral cricket. 

 

Some of this "look how wonderful we are" shit on the pitch, matched with a flat refusal to accept even the tiniest shred of criticism off it, has made this "project" quite tiresome. 

 

Could we not have just become a bit more positive with our cricket without pretending we've invented the fucking wheel?

 

What happens if we lose this home Ashes series 3-1? Do we still do the human centipede, or do we concede that test cricket isn't actually painting by numbers and that having a one size fits all theory is a bit stupid? 

 

I like bits of it, especially in the field. Root used to let games drift away over the course of a session, we don't do that now. We're proactive, and this was McCullum's greatest skill as a captain. I like that the lower order is positive with the bat, it makes them fucking annoying to bowl to. The top order pretending every game is an ODI, less so. 

[lifetime fan]

On 27/07/2023 at 10:13, sir roger said:

Is there any reason why England seem to announce their team days before a game, while Australia haven't even named theirs with an hour to go. Surely this is a disadvantage.

 

Stokes needs three wickets to join a pretty exclusive club on 200 wickets and 6000 runs. Only Sobers and Kallis have done this and they were both fairly good on their day.

 

Hahahahaha

[lifetime fan]

6 hours ago, TheBitch said:

And TheBitch casually wandered over to a restrained Mudface and removed his mask à la Scooby Doo, to reveal none other than…

 

*tense music*
 

… LIFETIME FAN!

 

Hahahahahaha

 

I'm not the only one who hates him keeping wicket.

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

6 hours ago, Jairzinho said:

 

That was Bazball. 

 

Over indulgent, smelling yourself, style over substance, pretending you're above wanting to win, moral cricket. 

 

Some of this "look how wonderful we are" shit on the pitch, matched with a flat refusal to accept even the tiniest shred of criticism off it, has made this "project" quite tiresome. 

 

Could we not have just become a bit more positive with our cricket without pretending we've invented the fucking wheel?

 

What happens if we lose this home Ashes series 3-1? Do we still do the human centipede, or do we concede that test cricket isn't actually painting by numbers and that having a one size fits all theory is a bit stupid? 

 

I like bits of it, especially in the field. Root used to let games drift away over the course of a session, we don't do that now. We're proactive, and this was McCullum's greatest skill as a captain. I like that the lower order is positive with the bat, it makes them fucking annoying to bowl to. The top order pretending every game is an ODI, less so. 

 

Strangely, Stokes (as the advocate for Bazball) seems to be the only player who understands pragmatism - digging in and building an innings. Root just seems to bat the way he always has, though there's nothing wrong with that. 

 

Having a strong belief system is great for the team, until they slavishly adhere to it and then you realise it's just become a kind of cult.

 

 

[Pidge]

I think the tenth highest test scorer might know a thing or two about building an innings.

[Manny]

8 hours ago, Jairzinho said:

 

That was Bazball. 

 

Over indulgent, smelling yourself, style over substance, pretending you're above wanting to win, moral cricket. 

 

Some of this "look how wonderful we are" shit on the pitch, matched with a flat refusal to accept even the tiniest shred of criticism off it, has made this "project" quite tiresome. 

 

Could we not have just become a bit more positive with our cricket without pretending we've invented the fucking wheel?

 

What happens if we lose this home Ashes series 3-1? Do we still do the human centipede, or do we concede that test cricket isn't actually painting by numbers and that having a one size fits all theory is a bit stupid? 

 

I like bits of it, especially in the field. Root used to let games drift away over the course of a session, we don't do that now. We're proactive, and this was McCullum's greatest skill as a captain. I like that the lower order is positive with the bat, it makes them fucking annoying to bowl to. The top order pretending every game is an ODI, less so. 

In fairness, I think most of the smelling and the Bazball stuff is from the media. Stokes and McCullum seem to roll their eyes at the phrase and always have done. There's a bit of funky chat from them both no doubt, but I do reckon most of the hyperbole is at least as much foisted on them as it is self-generated.

 

That said, I've always thought this impression that it's all about hyper-aggressive batting is slightly missing the point; my take on it is that it's about encouraging players to play a game that feels natural and just being a bit less critical of dismissals. England have a team of batsmen who like getting bat on ball and Stokes and McCullum have basically run with it: reckoning it better for attacking batsmen to play their shots and accept the risks that come with it, rather than getting those batsmen to play more defensively in a style which they're fucking shite at.

 

Basically they're trying to bend the game to the limited overs cricketers they have rather than trying to adapt those players to play Test cricket. I dunno if it'll work, like. It probably will against most sides but that says more about the state of Test cricket than it does about the style.

[Pidge]

It's basically "play shots", try to force tests to a clear result. 

 

Been totally over exaggerated, for me. 

[Jairzinho]

8 minutes ago, Manny said:

In fairness, I think most of the smelling and the Bazball stuff is from the media. Stokes and McCullum seem to roll their eyes at the phrase and always have done. There's a bit of funky chat from them both no doubt, but I do reckon most of the hyperbole is at least as much foisted on them as it is self-generated.

 

That said, I've always thought this impression that it's all about hyper-aggressive batting is slightly missing the point; my take on it is that it's about encouraging players to play a game that feels natural and just being a bit less critical of dismissals. England have a team of batsmen who like getting bat on ball and Stokes and McCullum have basically run with it: reckoning it better for attacking batsmen to play their shots and accept the risks that come with it, rather than getting those batsmen to play more defensively in a style which they're fucking shite at.

 

Basically they're trying to bend the game to the limited overs cricketers they have rather than trying to adapt those players to play Test cricket. I dunno if it'll work, like. It probably will against most sides but that says more about the state of Test cricket than it does about the style.

 

Yeah, I'd agree re the media. The defensiveness from Stokes in the media is a bit odd though, he possibly just isn't great in front of them despite a sort of hard man lad image. 

 

I think the style suits the players we have, we simply don't have top class "proper" test batsmen as you say. I think one issue I have is an annoyance that we have to have some overriding philosophy at all. We did under Strauss, it was supreme dullness. You'd hope for a little more individual intelligence from the batsmen. 

 

And yes, test cricket is in its knees and while this may get, or keep, a few more interested it probably speeds up its ultimate demise. 50 over cricket will go first though. 

 

The sport will be unrecognisable in a generation, sadly. Just a series of T10 competitions in various oil kingdoms. 

[Preston Red]

Spawny cunt Smith will hit a double century now.

[Jairzinho]

Wow. All the money in the world that looked out. Bail took an eternity to come off as Bairstow had nudged the stump before he had the ball. 

[Jairzinho]

Ha, Broady knows better than the umpire. Shock. 

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

2 hours ago, Pidge said:

I think the tenth highest test scorer might know a thing or two about building an innings.

 

That's what I was saying - he has always built innings and continues to do so.

[Captain Howdy]

Out for me Clive 

[sir roger]

If it was Cummins he would have been given out in 30 seconds

[Captain Howdy]

So he was out after all, what a massive, massive shock that is…….

[Captain Howdy]

11 minutes ago, Captain Howdy said:

So he was out after all, what a massive, massive shock that is…….

He definitely is now

[Manny]

2 hours ago, Jairzinho said:

 

Yeah, I'd agree re the media. The defensiveness from Stokes in the media is a bit odd though, he possibly just isn't great in front of them despite a sort of hard man lad image. 

 

I think the style suits the players we have, we simply don't have top class "proper" test batsmen as you say. I think one issue I have is an annoyance that we have to have some overriding philosophy at all. We did under Strauss, it was supreme dullness. You'd hope for a little more individual intelligence from the batsmen. 

 

And yes, test cricket is in its knees and while this may get, or keep, a few more interested it probably speeds up its ultimate demise. 50 over cricket will go first though. 

 

The sport will be unrecognisable in a generation, sadly. Just a series of T10 competitions in various oil kingdoms. 

As it happens I reckon England are trailblazers for a new era - but not because of some amazing crusade to save the old form of the game, rather that in 10 years time there'll be franchise cricket everywhere and the pool of players will play accordingly and this style will just become the norm as a result. 'Mystery' bowlers and see ball / hit ball batsmen. It's shit but the horse has bolted as you say.

 

I'd still rather watch this form of Test cricket than frankly soulless franchise cricket though, so maybe they are saving the game if they can bring some spectators through with them. Shitty compromise though.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

Useless against the tail again.

[Captain Howdy]

5 minutes ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

Useless against the tail again.

Aye, not good enough, not helped by that run out robbery mind.

[Captain Howdy]

2 minutes ago, Captain Howdy said:

Aye, not good enough, not helped by that run out robbery mind.

Cummins has doubled his average here. Pathetic 

[clangers]

Any reason why we have to endlessly bowl the short ball to tailenders who have played themselves in?

[Jairzinho]

What did Smith actually add after the run out? 20? 25? 

 

Certainly no excuse for their number 10 whacking us for multiple sixes. 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

23 minutes ago, Captain Howdy said:

Aye, not good enough, not helped by that run out robbery mind.

True.

[Captain Howdy]

That run out gets worse the more you see it.

[Captain Howdy]

31 minutes ago, Jairzinho said:

What did Smith actually add after the run out? 20? 25? 

 

Certainly no excuse for their number 10 whacking us for multiple sixes. 

Correct, we had an opportunity to have a decent lead here and we’ve fucked it up.