The Official Cricket Thread

[Pidge]

4 minutes ago, s(k)aturation said:

 

Yeah,

I said it was semantic. And euphemistic.

To me, "retain" denotes achievement more than "remain".

So perhaps I'm barking up the wrong shrub in search of a point, and being a pedant, if you will.

 

 

Fair enough, you're right in that they don't win anything. But they still get the right to be arseholes about taking it home with them. 

 

I know I'd have a dig if the roles were reversed...

[s(k)aturation]

4 minutes ago, Pidge said:

 

Fair enough, you're right in that they don't win anything. But they still get the right to be arseholes about taking it home with them. 

 

I know I'd have a dig if the roles were reversed...

 

Oh yeah, this is the perfect "bad blood" scenario.

 

 

[Bjornebye]

Fucking joke this. 

[Captain Howdy]

Load of shite that, we had those fuckers on the run.

[s(k)aturation]

 

From "should be 3-0 up" to injustice.

Nothing like rain to replenish England loyalty/partisanship.

Other than Australian cheating of course.

 

2-2 is hopefully where it ends.

And maybe that might be fair... we'll see I guess.

 

 

 

[an tha]

As Naitch said 'to be the man, you gorra beat the man'....

 

Same in boxing - if a world title fight ends in a draw the champion retains.

 

This series is dead now, sadly. Literally nothing that matters on the line.

 

 

[Fugitive]

And that’s why Cricket is shit.

 

 

[Mudface]

Just now, Fugitive said:

And that’s why Manchester is shit.

 

 

 

Fixed.

[Captain Howdy]

8 minutes ago, an tha said:

As Naitch said 'to be the man, you gorra beat the man'....

 

Same in boxing - if a world title fight ends in a draw the champion retains.

 

This series is dead now, sadly. Literally nothing that matters on the line.

 

 

False equivalence, for a start wrestling isn’t real, and no boxer I’m aware of ever got bailed out by the rain.

[an tha]

5 minutes ago, Captain Howdy said:

False equivalence, for a start wrestling isn’t real, and no boxer I’m aware of ever got bailed out by the rain.

You bastard, it's still real to me damn it!

 

The aussies certainly booked the weather!!

 

Joking aside though what i meant is the opportunity has been taken away by a silly situation - but ultimately the record books will only just show that Ingerlund didn't 'beat the man'.

 

[Strontium]

They need to stop playing test matches at Old Toilet

[Redder Lurtz]

I love cricket, especially the ashes but this is complete fucking bullshit. No other sport on the planet is decided because it rained. We had those cunts nailed in this test and we'd have been on a roll to win. "But it rained". What a load of wank. 

[Jairzinho]

We've benefited from the weather in the past, so I'm not really arsed about it from a partisan point of view.

 

It is fucking shite that they can't even have a spare day though. Could even have test matches in August...

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

1 hour ago, Strontium said:

They need to stop playing test matches at Old Toilet

 

Bastard Lancashire won their only County Championship since the Pre-Cambrian age because Old Trafford was undergoing work, and the matches were played in Liverpool. Also nice of them to parade the trophy Liverpool won them at the ground of a certain Manchester sports club. Just Stop Using Old Trafford. Roll on the next home Ashes (bar Headingly losing it).

[Pidge]

There's nothing blocking it, from what I've seen after asking the other day. Just not conventional because it's not an issue in the majority of major cricket nations. I assume we pretend to be following that convention, but really, we're usually the ones having our arse saved and are happy enough when that happens. The players can feel bad about it and the fans can talk about how well they played (they deserve praise for it), but ultimately it's a live by the sword, die by the sword situation. Before the series, even in a heatwave most were still joking about there being at least one abandoned test, so can hardly act shocked now. Does the sport no favours though.

 

Ultimately, the play at Lords did more to cost us a shot at the ashes than anything else (ours, not a cheap Bairstow wicket).  Still, with some major players on their way out over the next couple of years, it does feel like some are taking the opportunity. Just got to see some consistency.

[Jairzinho]

I think actually if we did try and get five spare days for an Ashes series the gimps in charge of the Hundred would start crying that they couldn't play the Manchester Eggcunts vs the Southern Nonces on the first Tuesday in August or something.

[Captain Howdy]

Has the idea of some kind of DL formula for tests ever been mooted? I’m reaching I know……..

[Jairzinho]

17 minutes ago, Captain Howdy said:

Has the idea of some kind of DL formula for tests ever been mooted? I’m reaching I know……..

 

I think it would first require more rigidity regarding overs. Which would be a good thing anyway.

[s(k)aturation]

2 hours ago, Redder Lurtz said:

I love cricket, especially the ashes but this is complete fucking bullshit. No other sport on the planet is decided because it rained. We had those cunts nailed in this test and we'd have been on a roll to win. "But it rained". What a load of wank. 

 

If it wasn't for "The Hundred" (or whatever the fuck it's called) needing a clear August in order to be staged... officials might think about Test Cricket and results and things, and come to the realisation that an extra day to make up for rain - in order to make a just outcome possible - is important to the game, rather than just TV viewership... and they might then perhaps schedule the extra time to finish a badly rain-affected Test match.

 

In fairness, whatever his motivation, I take my hat off to McCullum for trying to shake Test Cricket up with this commitment to a positive result-based approach to the format.  I don't personally like the fact that it is making Test Cricket look a bit like 4 or 5 days of 50-over-style, ODI-type sessions, but at least it's a commitment to calling out the bollocks of an ancient game that claims "sometimes the most intriguing result of all after 5 days is no result".

 

Instead of course, the"custodians" of Test Cricket are more interested in the bottomless gin and tonics being served at the pre-game "Long Room" lunches. Because that is the only "result" this sport of Test Cricket holds dearest:  keeping its anachronistic mythologies alive.

Still though, while there is a theoretical chance of - one day - seeing a team score 600 in "The Hundred", the "progressive" people in our game will keep our Augusts free... as we will indeed keep, in joyful hope, tuning in for these slogfests.

 

[Captain Turdseye]

6 minutes ago, s(k)aturation said:

Instead of course, the"custodians" of Test Cricket are more interested in the bottomless gin and tonics being served at the pre-game "Long Room" lunches.  Because that is the only "result" this sport of Test Cricket holds dearest:  keeping its anachronistic mythologies alive.

 

Hang on a minute, Skippy. You attend the Boxing Day test in the MCG Long Room every year, you big hypocrite. On your birthday no less. It’s you. You’re part of the problem. 
 

And then you go on to sneer at slogfests. The neck on you. Disgusting. 

[Captain Turdseye]

Bottomless gin and tonics. 
 

How the other half live, eh. 

[s(k)aturation]

1 minute ago, Captain Turdseye said:

 

Hang on a minute, Skippy. You attend the Boxing Day test in the MCG Long Room every year, you big hypocrite. On your birthday no less. It’s you. You’re part of the problem. 
 

And then you go on to sneer at slogfests. The neck on you. Disgusting. 

 

Finish up that quart of pink gin and go to bed, mate. 

 

 

[s(k)aturation]

6 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Bottomless gin and tonics. 
 

How the other half live, eh. 

 

The pink gin hypocrite hits out.

 

And anyway, it's Melbourne Cricket Club Heathcote Shiraz for your information... you ironically Oxbridge-postcoded schlepper.

 

[lifetime fan]

It’s England, it rains.

 

There’s no moaning or excuse making, the Aussies have at least retained the ashes. 

 

This all comes back to Stokes and that fucking ridiculous declaration in the first test. All about the ego and wanting to look the kiddy instead of actually winning. 
 

Prick. 

[s(k)aturation]

4 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

It’s England, it rains.

 

There’s no moaning or excuse making, the Aussies have at least retained the ashes. 

 

This all comes back to Stokes and that fucking ridiculous declaration in the first test. All about the ego and wanting to look the kiddy instead of actually winning. 
 

Prick. 

 

And him and the coach are New Zealanders anyway.