The Official Cricket Thread

[Captain Turdseye]

Bet Skaro wears a members tie to the cricket and everything. Little Mr Bourgeois, coming on here to patronise the common little poms. It’s outrageous really. 
 

We should convict him of something, anything, and boot him out. It’s in keeping with the history of that country and the people in it. 

[s(k)aturation]

10 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Bet Skaro wears a members tie to the cricket and everything. Little Mr Bourgeois, coming on here to patronise the common little poms. It’s outrageous really. 
 

We should convict him of something, anything, and boot him out. It’s in keeping with the history of that country and the people in it. 

 

Yes, it's a lovely tie.

And only Melbourne Cricket Club members are allowed to buy it - for $60.

Would you like me to send you one for Christmas, Admiral Arsewipe?

 

 

[Captain Turdseye]

1 minute ago, s(k)aturation said:

 

Yes, it's a lovely tie.

And only Melbourne Cricket Club members are allowed to buy it - for $60.

Would you like me to send you one for Christmas, Admiral Arsewipe?

 

 

I don’t need your charity!

[s(k)aturation]

3 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

I don’t need your charity!

 

I would have invoiced you AUD$75.

[Red_or_Dead]

Zero interest in the cricket, but if days/playing time are wiped out due to the weather then why don't they just postpone/push it back? Like they used to do at Wimbledon.

[s(k)aturation]

13 hours ago, Red_or_Dead said:

Zero interest in the cricket, but if days/playing time are wiped out due to the weather then why don't they just postpone/push it back? Like they used to do at Wimbledon.

 

 

Maybe because in reality, like you, not enough people are actually interested.

 

 

[sir roger]

Cricket has always been in hock to the weather and it has helped us plenty of times in the past. If the weather had been nice for Saturday and Sunday there us nothing to say the Aussies couldn't have nudged 400 and left us with an awkward chase anyway.

 

Hopefully we can draw the series, and then it is going to be interesting to see where we go from there, with the 4th test team having 8 players over 32 years of age. We have a pretty light and ordinary test schedule over the next 18 months and only 6 home tests ( Windies and Sri Lanks ) in that time, and by the time India come here in 2025 I would imagine we would need to replace Anderson, Broad, Bairstow, Woakes, Leach, Moeen, and Stokes' knee is chronic also. 

 

[sir roger]

Is there any reason why England seem to announce their team days before a game, while Australia haven't even named theirs with an hour to go. Surely this is a disadvantage.

 

Stokes needs three wickets to join a pretty exclusive club on 200 wickets and 6000 runs. Only Sobers and Kallis have done this and they were both fairly good on their day.

[Jairzinho]

5 minutes ago, sir roger said:

 

Stokes needs three wickets to join a pretty exclusive club on 200 wickets and 6000 runs. Only Sobers and Kallis have done this and they were both fairly good on their day.

 

The two greatest cricketers of all time.

[Pidge]

We're running a bit under par, but not much more to be done when the Aussie attack is clicking. Need another good partnership to get ahead, the pitch seems to be doing things so hopefully we can get at them too.

 

Let's have a good four day battle to see things out.

[Pidge]

Not the time for that, Jonny.

[Remmie]

Another case if it being terrific watching our tail wallop this top class attack around but extremely ominous for the upcoming Aussie innings. 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

The weather not looking great for this test either I think.

[Jairzinho]

2 hours ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

The weather not looking great for this test either I think.

 

Monday looks shite, the other three days after today look like they'll have a few showers.

 

...it might save us.

[Remmie]

Anderson on the wane now? 

[coachpotato]

2 hours ago, Remmie said:

Anderson on the wane now? 

Looks like it doesn’t it? Went to the fourth day at OT and he didn’t look like he was worrying the Aussie batsmen too much, but then neither did the others for the three and a bit hours they were out there to be fair.

Been a fantastic career he’s had, but I’ll be surprised if he doesn’t call it quits when this test is over.

[s(k)aturation]

1 hour ago, coachpotato said:

Looks like it doesn’t it? Went to the fourth day at OT and he didn’t look like he was worrying the Aussie batsmen too much, but then neither did the others for the three and a bit hours they were out there to be fair.

 

That Labuschagne innings might have "won" the Ashes.

He gets out quickly on that day and, who knows, that 3-odd hour session might have been enough for England to run through the last 5 wickets.

 

[Remmie]

All the focus seems to be on that declaration in the first test but the lack of one in the last test when we knew bad weather was going to have a significant affect on the rest of the match was the most shocking decision. Where was fucking bazball then? 

[Creator Supreme]

3 hours ago, coachpotato said:

Looks like it doesn’t it? Went to the fourth day at OT and he didn’t look like he was worrying the Aussie batsmen too much, but then neither did the others for the three and a bit hours they were out there to be fair.

Been a fantastic career he’s had, but I’ll be surprised if he doesn’t call it quits when this test is over.

I think he'll hang on for one more series to get to 700 test wickets, then call it a day.

[s(k)aturation]

2 hours ago, Remmie said:

All the focus seems to be on that declaration in the first test but the lack of one in the last test when we knew bad weather was going to have a significant affect on the rest of the match was the most shocking decision. Where was fucking bazball then? 

 

Bazball, like any tactic that doesn't have a Plan B, is limiting, and limited... having a change of approach in your repertoire is basically a "sine qua non" in Test Cricket.

(you know, just as variation in your bowling attack, going round the wicket, innovative or specific field settings for a certain batsman... and obversely, attacking batsmen, defensive batsmen, batsmen comfortable doing both etc...)

 

Speaking of "limited", I also find Bazball, with it's 4 of 5 days of ODI-style cricket, leg theory et al...  like limited overs cricket itself... a bit boring to be honest.

 

 

[Mudface]

2 hours ago, Remmie said:

All the focus seems to be on that declaration in the first test but the lack of one in the last test when we knew bad weather was going to have a significant affect on the rest of the match was the most shocking decision. Where was fucking bazball then? 

 

Little Johnny wanted his century. Fucking cunt.

[s(k)aturation]

 

5 minutes ago, Mudface said:

 

Little Johnny wanted his century. Fucking cunt.

 

Indeed.

If only we could re-incarnate Thomas More, tell him that Jonny is a Protestant... and deliver to More's home in Chelsea a consignment of nice, dry kindling, some logs, a post, some rope and a Zippo lighter... presto, witch-hunt successful.

 

 

[Mudface]

2 minutes ago, s(k)aturation said:

 

 

Indeed.

If only we could re-incarnate Thomas More, tell him that Jonny is a Protestant... and deliver to More's home in Chelsea a consignment of nice, dry kindling, some logs, a post, some rope and a Zippo lighter... presto, witch-hunt successful.

 

Or just drop him for Foakes and let him see out the rest of his career making meaningless 30s at Scarborough while his IPL career goes up in smoke.

[s(k)aturation]

8 minutes ago, Mudface said:

 

Or just drop him for Foakes and let him see out the rest of his career making meaningless 30s at Scarborough while his IPL career goes up in smoke.

 

Bazball-wise, I think he's well good enough to open the innings... and Foakes keeps.

 

I'd deffo have Bairstow in, instead of one of those two current openers...

 

I'm talking Bazball rules here, remember... I'm not saying I agree with them!

 

Bairstow's century - admittedly it's a low bar - in Sydney in the last Ashes Series was head and shoulders the best batting performance by an England bat in that Series... and ended up saving England from a 5-0 whitewash.

 

It simply isn't his fault he's being used incorrectly, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was confusing and complicating the fuck out of him... you can see it.

 

[TheBitch]

4 hours ago, Mudface said:

 

Or just drop him for Foakes and let him see out the rest of his career making meaningless 30s at Scarborough while his IPL career goes up in smoke.

And TheBitch casually wandered over to a restrained Mudface and removed his mask à la Scooby Doo, to reveal none other than…

 

*tense music*
 

… LIFETIME FAN!