*Shakes head* Everton again.

[PestiRed]

Philip Green perhaps?

But Phillip Green isn't a shareholder, cough, cough, where did Bill get his investment money from, cough, cough

[Faustus]

Did a great bit of Everton-baiting this weekend.

 

Spent a cracking weekend on the ale in Leeds for my mate's stag. Anyway, we're in this boozer and I'm talking to my mate at the bar. Some lad- a Leeds fan- also waiting to be served, hears our accents and asks if we're reds or blues. We both say reds and the Leeds fan goes: "Good- I fucking hate Everton. They're fucking shite and Martinez is a wanker." Me and my mate start laughing and shake his hand.

 

Anyway, we get talking to him and he turns out to be a decent lad. He comes over with us to our group and he tells us what he said to us at the bar. The reds- majority of the group- all start laughing and obviously the blues start getting outraged.

 

One blue in particular really seen his arse and starts going on about Everton being a bigger club than Leeds. It was pretty much two bald men fighting over a comb, because the Leeds fan rebuked this. The Evertonian then starts going on about Everton being the fourth biggest side in the country (behind Man Utd, Arsenal and- incredible that he admitted this- us). He carries on embarrassing himself by going on about how Everton are a bigger club than Chelsea and Man City, and everyone is pissing themselves at this point.

 

I then go all shit stirring and say to the blue: "To be fair, Leeds have played in a European Cup final. That makes them bigger than Everton, in my book."

 

What came next was a thing of beauty; talking bile like some James Joyce stream of consciousness here. "We fucking would have played in a fucking European fucking Cup final if you fucking arseholes hadn't have gotten us fucking banned. We'd have fucking even won a couple and all." The lad went on like that for a good five minutes. It was glorious.

[Trumo]

Dirty Leeds Satis Nisi Optimum.

[Harry Squatter]

Bitter baiting should be an Olympic sport.

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

Bitter baiting should be an Olympic sport.

Olympic sports are meant to be difficult, attracting athletes and competitors at the pinnacle of their careers. The elite.

 

Bitter baiting would in no way qualify as an Olympic sport. It's just too easy and not challenging enough. All you have to do is utter the words "Liverpool" or "European Cup", or show them the colour red and there's an instantaneous foaming at the mouth, akin to the clout of a 60 year old broad at a Daniel O'Donnell concert.

[alles ist gut]

Or 'Clive Thomas'.

[manwiththestick]

How many of those "you're in my heart..." rear car window stickers do you see though? Fucking grim as fuck. Usually on the back of some scabby Astra.

[Adebisi]

I remember some blue getting his panties in a twist on twitter because we were on MOTD before them during the run-in for the title. I think we had beaten Norwich and them the Mancs.

I tired explaining that teams battling for the title are always going to be ahead of the teams going for 4th/Europa league due to.. well, obvious reasons really.. but he wouldn't have it; 'Which was the better game though?' I told him I hadn't seen their game and apparently that 'proved his point exactly' 

 

[index1000]

Bitter baiting should be an Olympic sport.

there isn't really any skill as it is so fucking easy, Gold medals all-round,

[index1000]

I obviously posted the previous comment before spoting Nellys post it was in no way an attempt to get him to spit the dummy and thereby outing himself as a closet bluenose

[Paulie Dangerously]

Anyone know what the annual bloo-peddled rumour is this year? It's normally started by now

 

My guess is it'll be about Balotelli as he's taken over Suarez as 'most talked about except Gerrard' and it'll be either:

 

He's got a 16 or under age bird pregnant (like Gerrard did...) and it gets covered up by the club. Or...

 

He gets involved with the Scouse mafia who threaten to kneecap him unless he gives them 90% of his wages

[Bjornebye]

Balotelli is banging Alex Curran

[an tha]

I remember some blue getting his panties in a twist on twitter because we were on MOTD before them during the run-in for the title. I think we had beaten Norwich and them the Mancs.

 

I tired explaining that teams battling for the title are always going to be ahead of the teams going for 4th/Europa league due to.. well, obvious reasons really.. but he wouldn't have it; 'Which was the better game though?' I told him I hadn't seen their game and apparently that 'proved his point exactly'

 

 

He of course would have seen our game at least twice and be able to recall every tiny detail

[Paulie Dangerously]

Balotelli is banging Alex Curran

Balotelli knocked her up and they had to bleach the kids skin like Michael Jackson

[bouncebrigade]

Balotelli is banging Alex Curran

 

And now "Pancake" has a hit out on Balotelli

[Harry Squatter]

Balotelli murdered a taxi driver in Milan Leslie Grantham style arguing about a 20 Euro fare. This is why Milan were willing to let him go on the cheap.

[bouncebrigade]

Enrique's teeth are so white because he chews cocaine

[Josef Svejk]

Enrique's teeth are so white because he chews cocaine

 

What's Rodgers been chewing?

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

Brendan Rodger's is Balotelli's dad.

[Russ Atmosphere]

What's Rodgers been chewing?

 

Sakho's missus, hence the walkout.

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

When Raheem Sterling returned from international duty, he pissed on the cenotaph and decked one of those singing Soldiers Wives when she tried to stop him.

 

And he's in ISIS.

[milky]

Mighty Red fathered 14 of Raheem's kids.

[bouncebrigade]

Coutinho's brother runs the favelas in Rio

[Jurgens Red Army]

Sakho is a pimp and runs a big prostitute ring in Paris, and Brendan dropped him for the derby because he wouldn't let him have a freeby.

[Harry Squatter]

Lazar Markovic's Dad is to be tried at The Hague for war crimes during the Balkan war which is why his form has been shite due to worrying too much.

 

Lallana beat up his old neighbour over a row about his basketball pitch and got Pancake to threaten him to drop the charges.

 

Ricky Lamberts dad didn't get sacked from Matalan over stealing a cup of coffee, he sold beak to kids on his lunch hour. Some fellas Dad who works with him told me but its not common knowledge yet because they are trying to settle out of court.

 

Reina got sold to Bayern because he got some bird from Belle Vale pregnant and the club didn't want the press knowing.

 

The real reason Gerrards legs have gone is because he's been shagging some bird who works at the Vincent Hotel in Southport. She does him with a strap on which has limited his mobility and recovery time.

 

Carragher packed in a year early as his secret Everton tattoo gave him gangrene and he had to have his arm amputated.