Ever shagged someone famous?

[General Dryness]

Tell her she has a fucking moon head.

Ask her if those nudie pics that are supposed to be of her when she was younger really are her. If she says yes, be sure to compliment her tidy clunge.

[Red Banjo]

I maintain I copped off with Rachel Stevens in the summer of '97 in Newquay. I put hours of graft into charming her, laying on all the usual bollocks that I was a semi proffessional footballer on the verge of breaking into the Coventry City side (they were the first team that popped into my head). She was claiming to be a dancer/singer from London and was also on the brink of stardom. One of us clearly wasn't utterly full of shite. My mate who wingmanned her not so fit mate couldn't be arsed to meet them the following night so my tale stops there. If i had better mates, this could be a legendary story. 

 

But it stops with a kiss, and my pals still don't fully believe it was her. 

 

I still memory wank it now. 

 

Good old days when you could bullshit a bird to get in her keks and no danger of them googling you to find out your a drunk fraud. 

[Unrighteous]

I used to shag a girl who does porn... Granted, she had only done a few magazine shoots by the time I got my hands on her.  (Pre and post fake tits though).

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Lad I knew reckoned he'd shagged Rose West. Apparently when he tried to shove it up her ricker a man's voice came from the wardrobe saying "Oi! Bumsies is extra, sun-shoine"!*

Might be the best thing I've ever read.

[skend04]

I used to shag a girl who does porn... Granted, she had only done a few magazine shoots by the time I got my hands on her. (Pre and post fake tits though).

You know the rules. Pics or GTFO!

[razor]

My mate reckons he's done Kylie.

 

No, he really, really does.

[Bjornebye]

He should be so lucky

[Bjornebye]

I maintain I copped off with Rachel Stevens in the summer of '97 in Newquay. I put hours of graft into charming her, laying on all the usual bollocks that I was a semi proffessional footballer on the verge of breaking into the Coventry City side (they were the first team that popped into my head). She was claiming to be a dancer/singer from London and was also on the brink of stardom. One of us clearly wasn't utterly full of shite. My mate who wingmanned her not so fit mate couldn't be arsed to meet them the following night so my tale stops there. If i had better mates, this could be a legendary story.

 

But it stops with a kiss, and my pals still don't fully believe it was her.

 

I still memory wank it now.

 

Good old days when you could bullshit a bird to get in her keks and no danger of them googling you to find out your a drunk fraud.

I believe you. Coventry are shit.

 

Defo wasn't her though.

[bigbak]

I'm sitting next to Lorraine Kelly in London City Airport right now.

 

I'll try and bum her and report back later...

 

I used to live with her gay cousin.  He offered me a blow job once.  I politely declined.

 

Nice bloke.  He used to try and wrestle me to the ground.  I had the strength of 300 at that point.  Mangina intacta.

[Bjornebye]

On 21/06/2015 at 11:13, cochyn said:

Lad I knew reckoned he'd shagged Rose West. Apparently when he tried to shove it up her ricker a man's voice came from the wardrobe saying "Oi! Bumsies is extra, sun-shoine"!*

Bump. Here it is. Superb 

[dockers_strike]

This thread must be a Walter Mitty's dream list.

[Clem H Fandango]

bummed Miranda Richardsons niece back in the early 90's does that count?

[YorkshireRed]

Played schoolboy football with someone who was in a relationship with Mel B for a while. I assume he shagged her but don’t know for sure.

 

He went on to score for England Schoolboys at Wembley, no idea what happened to her. 

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, YorkshireRed said:

Played schoolboy football with someone who was in a relationship with Mel B for a while. I assume he shagged her but don’t know for sure.

 

He went on to score for England Schoolboys at Wembley, no idea what happened to her. 

More likely she shagged him tbh mate. 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

On 21/06/2015 at 05:48, Remmie said:

I met an actress from Holby city on the tube. I had been at the clown world cup, as you do and was dressed as such.

She was drunk from some work party and was staring at me in my costume as I got in tube. We got chatting for about 10-15 minutes and are getting along great before realising at the last second I had arrived at my tube stop. I kissed her on the cheek and said goodbye instead of staying on the tube and going back to hers and clowning her backdoors in, which, from my story you will surely agree I could have definitely done. This is her:

 

 

It would have been the best 7 seconds of clown loving she'd ever had, her loss.

 

[cloggypop]

29 minutes ago, Clem H Fandango said:

bummed Miranda Richardsons niece back in the early 90's does that count?

If nieces count I was shagging the niece of Robyn Hitchcock for a while. 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

I know some who gave a a Blow job to Pete Loaf, Meatloaf impersonator.

[Rico1304]

I know a woman who shagged Thierry Henry.    
 

Her husband left her and two kids, apparently he was crushed when he found out.  

[Bjornebye]

3 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

I know a woman who shagged Thierry Henry.    
 

Her husband left her and two kids, apparently he was crushed when he found out.  

I bet she was fit though 

[Rico1304]

Just now, Bjornebye said:

I bet she was fit though 

Oh she was. Her husband treated her like shit so it was brilliant.  They were together for a few months and are still mates. 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

12 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

I know a woman who shagged Thierry Henry.    
 

Her husband left her and two kids, apparently he was crushed when he found out.  

Spurs fan?

[lifetime fan]

34 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

I know a woman who shagged Thierry Henry.    
 

Her husband left her and two kids, apparently he was crushed when he found out.  

That’s going to give any bloke a massive inferiority complex! I bet he even struggled to get it up after the poor bastard. 

[Numero Veinticinco]

As soon as I saw this thread, I knew Rico would have known somebody. 

[Captain Willard]

49 minutes ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

I know some who gave a a Blow job to Pete Loaf, Meatloaf impersonator.

Brilliant. 

[Clem H Fandango]

5 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

Brilliant. 

i would do anything for muff.....