The Africa Thread

[Bjornebye]

That’s grim. Bastards 

[Bjornebye]

Grim

 

 

 

 

 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Ryanair - classy as ever.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-61703174

 

[Jairzinho]

 

[SasaS]

Spanner stirring shit in Sudan again. Bruce, what have you done this time?

[Bruce Spanner]

2 hours ago, SasaS said:

Spanner stirring shit in Sudan again. Bruce, what have you done this time?

Things have spiralled here pretty badly.

 

We’re about half a mile from one of the real flashpoint areas, so we’ve had military aircraft and shelling as the soundtrack to our day with a few friends houses be hit as collateral damage.

 

Running battles in the street between ‘army’  and paramilitary pretty much firing at random.

 

Internet is down and airports are closed, and were bombed earlier, as two thick as fuck military generals dick swing before they both swing from a bridge when it’s figured out how to extract them.

 

Yep, living in a war zone ain’t fun.

 

Hows everyone else’s day going?

[SasaS]

1 hour ago, Bruce Spanner said:

Things have spiralled here pretty badly.

 

We’re about half a mile from one of the real flashpoint areas, so we’ve had military aircraft and shelling as the soundtrack to our day with a few friends houses be hit as collateral damage.

 

Running battles in the street between ‘army’  and paramilitary pretty much firing at random.

 

Internet is down and airports are closed, and were bombed earlier, as two thick as fuck military generals dick swing before they both swing from a bridge when it’s figured out how to extract them.

 

Yep, living in a war zone ain’t fun.

 

Hows everyone else’s day going?

Are you (at least relatively) safe?

If not, we are sending Poor Scouser / Anny Road and Gnasher to get you out.

[Section_31]

Stay safe Bruce and family. Must have missed it but what are you doing down that way?

[Bruce Spanner]

2 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Stay safe Bruce and family. Must have missed it but what are you doing down that way?

I work for an education NGO out here.

 

Been here for about eighteen months.

 

Just a normal Saturday in these parts…

[Bruce Spanner]

14 minutes ago, SasaS said:

Are you (at least relatively) safe?

 

We’re ‘safe’ for now.

 

We can hear helicopters and planes overhead and the rumours are the army are just going to bomb the shit out of the janjaweed. Though that’s obviously problematic as Khartoum is really condensed and they’re ensconced in the city. 
 

We’re a couple of miles out of town, but about half mile from a key RSF base meaning we’re expecting heavy shelling to start at some point soon.

 

Turns out through our guards have a secret stock of Kalashnikovs which they’re all sporting like it ain’t no thang now. Which is nice.

[John102]

3 hours ago, Bruce Spanner said:

Things have spiralled here pretty badly.

 

We’re about half a mile from one of the real flashpoint areas, so we’ve had military aircraft and shelling as the soundtrack to our day with a few friends houses be hit as collateral damage.

 

Running battles in the street between ‘army’  and paramilitary pretty much firing at random.

 

Internet is down and airports are closed, and were bombed earlier, as two thick as fuck military generals dick swing before they both swing from a bridge when it’s figured out how to extract them.

 

Yep, living in a war zone ain’t fun.

 

Hows everyone else’s day going?

Do you want to run a FM draft and take your mind off it?

[TheHowieLama]

Paras have taken control of the Presidential Palace and the airport- allegedly.

 

What say you @Bruce Spanner

[Bjornebye]

Hope you and your family stay safe Bruce. 

[Bruce Spanner]

30 minutes ago, TheHowieLama said:

Paras have taken control of the Presidential Palace and the airport- allegedly.

 

What say you @Bruce Spanner

Nah, misinformation.

 

Not much of what you see is truthful.

 

The Palace thing was just an outright lie, the airport they were chased out of earlier today. 
 

There are no ‘good guys’ here though.

[Section_31]

What's the big cheese like in Sudan? I'm picturing a general who looks like Barry White and owns an impressive collection of fine Italian sports cars.

[polymerpunkah]

Some background information on the foreign influence in Sudan:

 

https://pomeps.org/the-great-game-of-the-uae-and-saudi-arabia-in-sudan

[Bruce Spanner]

42 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

What's the big cheese like in Sudan? I'm picturing a general who looks like Barry White and owns an impressive collection of fine Italian sports cars.

 

General Mohamed Hamdan Dagalo (Hemedti), Deputy Leader.

 

 

Feared leader of the RSF, or Janjaweed as you'll have previously known them. Legit dollar billionaire through gold mines he owns, one he recently started working with The Wagner Group on. they are using this, and the secret channels they have both set up to sell the gold to fund the war in Ukraine. Other side hustles included selling child soldiers to fight in the Yemen proxy war and taking millions from the EU to stop the flow of migrants from Southern/East Africa, mostly by just threatening to shoot them. Killed loads during the revolution and subsequent protests. His most famous work though came during the Dafor genocide; he did some sterling work on population reduction there. All round good egg who just wants to rule Sudan so he can exploit its mineral reserves to enrich himself. In bed with The UAE and Russia.

 

General Al-Burhan, Leader of the Transitional Council

 

 

Company man, a lifelong soldier. Served under the previous despot and responsible for horrendous crimes against his own people. Working with the Islamists and isn't really interested in democratic transitions. Playing the 'Good guy' despite being a gold standard shit. Wants to maintain control of the army as it, and security, take up around about 80% of budgets and that a whole lot of change to siphon of to your friends. Victory for him would mean a return, potentially, the previous Islamist dictatorship and the crushing of decent and removal of opportunity. In bed with Qatar, China, Russia and pretty much any rogue state that flashes a bit of ankle.

 

There are no good guys here, it's a zero-sum game where Sudanis are the ones who'll suffer no matter the outcome.

 

They both announced a humanitarian ceasefire between 4-7 today, I can hear more bombs and shelling now than I have since early morning hostilities...

 

 

[Bruce Spanner]

2 minutes ago, polymerpunkah said:

Some background information on the foreign influence in Sudan:

 

https://pomeps.org/the-great-game-of-the-uae-and-saudi-arabia-in-sudan

 

Sudan isn't really a country, it's just a place where foreign powers sort their differences out away from the world's prying eyes.

 

Announced the other day that we're building a Russian military navel base because why the fuck not?

[SasaS]

11 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

 

Sudan isn't really a country, it's just a place where foreign powers sort their differences out away from the world's prying eyes.

 

Announced the other day that we're building a Russian military navel base because why the fuck not?

 

Is that using the latest Russian nanotechnology?

 

Who do you think has more chance of winning this, Bruce?

[Bruce Spanner]

4 minutes ago, SasaS said:

 

Is that using the latest Russain nanotechnology?

 

Who do you think has more chance of winning this, Bruce?

Genuinely no idea, the army have more resources and are better equipped, so that would probably settle it.

 

The main problem is there’s fighting all over the country, with other militia aligned to the above goons. So, it’s much more complicated than them or them.

 

No idea about the nanotechnology.

[SasaS]

17 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

Genuinely no idea, the army have more resources and are better equipped, so that would probably settle it.

 

No idea about the nanotechnology.

 

That was a joke.

 

Keep us posted on developments if you can and stay safe.

[Captain Turdseye]

This is high up on The Guardian homepage now. 
 

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/apr/17/antony-blinken-calls-for-immediate-ceasefire-in-sudan?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

 

That’s proper Africa. Bruce, you need to get the hell out of dodge. You can go back when it’s all calmed down. 
 

Three UN Food Program people killed. 

[Section_31]

I love the fact the GF has people everywhere. We're like Spectre with no money, guns or hair.

[SasaS]

Bruce has been blocked.

 

https://www.reuters.com/article/sudan-politics-internet/sudanese-telecoms-provider-mtn-blocks-internet-services-mtn-officials-say-idUSS8N35N0D8

[Bruce Spanner]

42 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

This is high up on The Guardian homepage now. 
 

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/apr/17/antony-blinken-calls-for-immediate-ceasefire-in-sudan?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

 

That’s proper Africa. Bruce, you need to get the hell out of dodge. You can go back when it’s all calmed down. 
 

Three UN Food Program people killed. 

 

We can't get out and probably won't be able to for some time, the airport is a key strategic position so is being fought over intensly.

 

This is the picture from my roof yeaterday after they, no idea which side, torched the fuel reserves at the airport, the reserves used to refuel commercial aircrafts, so that throws another, er, spanner in the works...

 

 

It's all gone to shit rapidly and were getting regular updates about various fucked up stuff. About an hour back we found out my wife's cousin had been the victim of a home invasion. They took valuables, but mainly were looking for food and water. This is one of several we know about.

 

MiG jets are currently flying overhead and, I assume, they'll be bombing the militia base up the road soon.

 

There are reports that the runway at the airport is damaged meaning larger planes wouldn't be able to land/take off anyway.

 

Yep, I'm living in a war zone and have little chance of getting out any time soon!

 

Wonderful.