Who do you want to win the tory leadership contest?

[dennis tooth]

Big issue with May is she campaigned to remain.

[Stouffer]

Who on here put Theresa May into the amnesty thread?

 

Or did I just fantasise about imagine it?

 

Anyway, Crabb would be my choice, but it'll be May by quite some way I think. Gove has been despised wherever he's worked and just seems to rub people up the wrong way with his 'simpering evil puppet' shtick. May will be seen as the one who'll get the best deal for Brexit. I can see her and Merkel hitting it off. (but not in that way).

It might have been me.

[Creator Supreme]

Peter Mandelson or Alistair Campbell! They deserve it for their years of service to the Cuntservative cause!

[Cardie]

By process of elimination I'd have to go for Crabb.

 

In reality I'd much prefer May over Gove.

The fact Crabb is the least worst option (assuming you aren't gay) just goes to show what a shit storm we're in.

[Section_31]

I think Crabb would be a sideways move. 

[dennis tooth]

He'll be pinching himself

[Section_31]

He'll be pinching himself

 

May could be caught in a pincer movement. 

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

I've not decided if it should be Jack Johnson, whose 3% titanium tax policy goes too far, or John Jackson whose 3% titanium tax policy doesn't go far enough.

[Mook]

I think Crabb would be a sideways move. 

 

It's about time he came out of his shell though.

[dennis tooth]

The kip of Teresa's teeth tells you she should be a headteacher not gonna be pm.

[Jairzinho]

[Strontium]

Crabb may fox Gove.

[Dr Nowt]

I can neither tell whether she wishes to fight me or fuck me, nor which is worse.

[dennis tooth]

Lick my teeth she's saying to me in that picture.

I've seen thousands of year old mummified corpses with teeth in better nick. Imagine her in that stance naked with her floppy wrinkled gut projecting over a witch brewed varicose stained fannie wafter odour of dried period blood with her shitits dried onion nipplets barely dangling because even gravity turns up it's nose at these lactose free vortices of hate.

[redheart]

Put them all in a sealed room and let in a Tiger. Anyone who comes out alive can have the the keys to the kingdom

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Put them all in a sealed room and let in a Tiger. Anyone who comes out alive can have the the keys to the kingdom

 

A tiger ruling over the Great British Lion, well I never. 

[Anubis]

Don't underestimate Gove. He may have been a bit of a fucknut at Education but he's been a fairly decent Justice Minister, as much as it pains me to say it.

 

He's rolled back a lot of the fuckwittery that Grayling was up to, and has shown surprisingly liberal ideas towards reducing the prison population.

 

He may look like a evil ventriloquist's dummy that been struck by lightning and given unholy life, but his ridiculous appearance masks his shrewdness.

[cloggypop]

They still might, all he has to do is warble a shit tune whilst wearing outlandish clothes, but yeah, he looks like a puppet from some 70's animated children's programme.

[Dr Nowt]

 

Hot off the press.

[dennis tooth]

Corbyn gonna break GE records at this rate.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Michael Gove today announced his decision to run for the leadership of the Tory party. "I have come, reluctantly, to the conclusion that Boris cannot provide the leadership or build the team for the task ahead," he said. "I have, therefore, decided to put my name forward for the leadership."

And with that, Boris Johnson was toast. MPs fled his ship and at lunchtime he confirmed he would not be running for leader.

But Gove's decision to stand comes after multiple occasions in which he insisted he never would.

Just a few weeks ago, on June 3rd, he told Sky News

Just over a month ago, he told the Telegraph:

"I can tell you I'm absolutely not. The one thing I can tell you is there are lots of talented people who could be prime minister after David Cameron but count me out."

Over the years he's told almost anyone who would listen that he wouldn't stand. But what's particularly interesting is that these weren't just flat-out denials - they were very specific. And what he said is going to haunt him.

"I don't want to do it and there are people who are far better equipped than me to do it. And there are people who have advocated Leave and people who have advocated Remain who are far better than me to do it."

 

"I don’t think I have got that exceptional level of ability required to do the job," he told the Telegraph last month. "I don’t have what it takes," he told the Financial Times in 2014. "I am an inconceivable choice as party leader," he told the Sunday Times in 2013.

On Question Time in 2013, he said:

"The one thing I do know having seen David Cameron up close is it takes extraordinary reserves of patience of judgement of character to lead this country and he has it and I don't and I think it's important to recognise in life you’ve reached an appropriate point."

On World at One in 2012, he said:

"There are lots of other folk, including in the Cabinet who could easily be prime minister, I am not one of them. I could not be prime minister, I am not equipped to be prime minister, I don’t want to be prime minister."

The same year, he told Standpoint magazine:

"I'm constitutionally incapable of it. There's a special extra quality you need that is indefinable, and I know I don't have it. There's an equanimity, an impermeability and a courage that you need. There are some things in life you know it's better not to try."

These words must hang over him like a shadow. The question is, what's changed? He clearly didn't believe this would happen earlier this month. If the email from his wife Sarah Vine is genuine, it suggests he wasn't given whatever it was he wanted by Johnson yesterday.

You get the sense there's something we don't know. But we do know one thing. If Gove wins the leadership, he'll never see the end of those quotes. The question he must answer is: if he didn't think he was up to it, why should voters disagree?

 

[Moctezuma]

If the candidates gather together on stage could someone rustle up the Arc of the Covenant out of Raiders of the Lost Arc and open it please. Ta.

 

[cloggypop]

Here's Gove interviewing a balaclava wearing armed robber

 

[Sugar Ape]

Don't underestimate Gove. He may have been a bit of a fucknut at Education but he's been a fairly decent Justice Minister, as much as it pains me to say it.

 

He's rolled back a lot of the fuckwittery that Grayling was up to, and has shown surprisingly liberal ideas towards reducing the prison population.

 

He may look like a evil ventriloquist's dummy that been struck by lightning and given unholy life, but his ridiculous appearance masks his shrewdness.

I've seen Gove described today by someone who used to work with him as more of a right wing New Labour politician than a Tory. ( yes, there is a difference before the usual suspects pipe up )

 

I think education is/was his pet project that he's gone into with preconceived ideas of what he wants to do and he's tried to micromanage it right down to the list of books schools can teach from. Other areas like Justice he's not biased towards so has probably been more open to counter arguments.

[Spy Bee]

I think it will come down to Fox versus Crabb. Clearly the odds will be massively in favour of fox, but... oh shit, thought this was an animal wars thread!