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Jokes for tonight.

Guest simon

By Guest simon,
in FF - Football Forum

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Guest simon

Guest simon

Posted
Posted

Flood warning on Merseyside tonight due to thousands of Liverpool fans pissing themselves laughing!

 

SWINE FLU ALERT - Massive outbreak in Rome, 30,000 Mancs left pig sick!

 

What does Rome stand for.... Ronaldo Ordinary Messi Extraordinary

 

Nicked from a mate but still quite funny.

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paulie1969 Rookie

paulie1969

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United United how did you fare?Barca were playing with 5 men to spare,embarrassing to watch men agains't boys,Messi and co playing with toys.A man named Bob Paisley had 3 cups to show,does the purple faced bastard?,the answer is no.A long old journey back to home,and the saying is true"THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE ROME".

 

They dremt of a treble a short time ago,fucking fat Rooney Ronaldo and co.Along came Barca on a warm Roman night and showed them Manc cunts that they really were shite.

 

Vidic and Rio oh what a shame you were torn assunder in such a big game.Now fuck back to Manc land and get into bed and don't get out till that cunt Ferguson is Dead.

 

COME ON THE POOL.

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Lucky Pierre Grand Master

Lucky Pierre

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To any Manchester United fans who've got an empty feeling inside them now that they've just lost their grip on the Champions League trophy................................

 

Just make a short Journey over to Anfield because we've got one permanently on display!

This one's class. Just sent it to a manc in work!

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House of Dirk Mentor

House of Dirk

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Police have confirmed that they have arrested a 27 year old Manchester man on suspicion of fraud. The man named as Michael Carrick is believed to have being at the centre of an £18m scam. The man charged has been masquerading as a top class international centre midfielder for 3 years. Italian authorities have handed overwhelming evidence of the fraud to English police including video footage of his inability to retain the ball, hit long range forward passes and poor defending.

 

An English police spokesman said 'We are delighted this fraud has been uncovered. We have being following the suspect since similar incidents occurred in Liverpool on 13 September and Manchester in on 14 March'

 

Italian Police are set to release two suspects detained on suspicion of trespass in Rome without charge. The two men detained Anderson and Sun Ji Park trespassed upon the pitch during the Champions league final in Rome last night. It is thought that they will not be charged as their presence on the field did not disrupt or impact on the game at all last night. An onlooker said 'What were those guys doing on the pitch they ran around for up to an hour each, clearly they were not playing football. They should know that spectators who have paid to watch Xavi and Iniesta should remain seated in the stands'

 

Former footballer Paul Scholes has been convicted by an Italian court of assault. The accused's conviction is as a result of a violent two footed lunge at Barcelona's second choice holding midfielder Sergio Basquets. Unsurprisingly 'the consistent inability to tackle' defence put forward by the accused representative Gary Neville was dismissed by the Italian jury. During the trial the Italian courts turned down extradition applications from Spain, Germany, Portugal, France and Holland. Scholes who is known to be a serial offender for these types of assault tackles is wanted by authorities all over Europe. Interpol said today that they would be launching an investigation to determine how Scholes had evaded police for these assaults for so long.

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hamstrung Grand Master

hamstrung

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The emails have started:

 

Apparently Wayne Rooney has had a phone call from Harry Potter. He wants his invisible cloak back.

 

Ferdinand off to Spain: he’s got a job on the beach at Benidorm.

 

What does a United fan say to his son after watching The Mighty Reds retain the Champions League? “Turn the Playstation off son, it’s getting late.”

 

Michel Platini has announced that the next time United get to a European cup final, they must play with two balls so they can have a kick.

 

For Sale: 30,000 Man United Final flags – good as new – only been waved for 10 minutes

 

For Sale: 70,000 Man United Champions League Winners 2009 t-shirts. Contact http://www.overconfidentb*st*rds.com

 

A bloke goes into a brothel in Rome and asks “How much for humiliation?”

 

The Madam answers “40 Euros”

 

“What do I get for that?” he asks.

 

“A Man United shirt”

 

Doctors are today carrying out tests on Nemanja Vidic by force-feeding him. It’s to see if he only chokes in big games.

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declan Enthusiast

declan

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Forever in the shadow of Anfield, football's home

They had the chance to close the gap but fucked it up in Rome

"Quintuple" mouthed the gobshites, now give us back our throne

Move over for the Kopites, you'll never walk alone.

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