The world of a woman.

[Hades]

If we were playing Jeopardy, this would be the answer to the question "Which three words describe modern life".

https://www.project-syndicate.org/commentary/liberal-totalitarianism-no-autonomy-by-yanis-varoufakis-2018-04

[Mook]

I was off on holiday on Monday, one of our clients asked the bird I work with for a spreadsheet which she had to manipulate, she asked my boss for help which wasn't forthcoming so predictably she fucked it up & sent it out to the client. They noticed it was wrong yesterday & e-mailed us all to ask us to investigate what had happened. I had a look and spotted what she'd done wrong within five minutes & within another five, I'd trained her on sorting & filtering spreadsheets. Sorted?

 

No chance, this morning my boss has kicked off, 'Spreadsheets should be double checked before being sent out, they contain confidential shareholder information, yadda, yadda, yadda...'

 

Me, 'Erm, I wasn't in on Monday, this is something you could've helped with or checked.'

My boss, 'Yes but they'll need to be double checked from now on.'

Me, 'I always help her with manipulating data or at least check it before it goes out.'

My boss, 'They'll need to be checked from now on.'

Me, 'Yes, you'll need to start checking them.'

 

Silence.

 

Trying to fucking blame me for something that went tits up while I was on holiday, the fucking twat.

[Dr Nowt]

In fairness, this isn’t really a woman thing is it, it’s your boss just being a bit of a rancid twat thing.

[Mook]

The woman at the client demanding an investigation into what happened was definitely a woman thing though. Someone fucked up a spreadsheet, hardly a case for Sherlock Holmes is it.

 

And the bird making an arse of the spreadsheet as well, she selected one column to sort rather than the whole sheet so all the data got mixed up, the massive spastic.

[ZonkoVille77]

You need to invest in a shovel, Mook.

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

Went over to Tasmania last weekend to see what it's all about - fucking freezing, bit like yorkshire, good food, generally decent folk, loads of whisky distilleries selling overpriced whisky.

 

Anyway, bought loads of shite like socks and gin, consequently on the way back, I suggest using my rucksack to go in the hold.

Said rucksack cost us a few quid, proper sound adios equipment one that carries my lap, gym gear and scran every day for work, got a built in rain cover, expandable shoe bag on the bottom, proper fucking good.

 

I jumps in the shower whilst the missus is packing.

 

Gets out the shower and asks where me walking shoes are, they're heavy and we've been walking through wallaby and kangaroo shit for a few days and down on some old convict island called Port Arthur, wading through mud

 

Put them in yer rucksack with mine, is the reply. 

 

Pulls up my rucksack, she's put my walking boot in the rucksack, in the plazzy bag they came over in - nice work.

 

Then whacked her own shit caked shoes in, not in the same plazzy bag, but just lashed them in the rucksack, that's when I point out that's where my scran goes, and ask why she didn't stick them in the same bag.

 

I just walked away shaking my head.

[Trumo]

You need to invest in a shovel, Arthur.

[Captain Turdseye]

Went to Tesco before. There was two empty parent and child spaces and a woman went to park in one before me. In this case I’m happy to overlook the fact she was without a child, because it was by far the worst attempt at parking a car I’m ever likely to see. Even with the extra gaps provided for getting kids out she still managed to park across both spaces. Then she reversed out, slowly went back in and ended up diagonally across both spaces. Then she reversed out again, stalled the car, started it back up again and then parked half in the space and half in the allocated bay for getting kids out.

 

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

You need to invest in a shovel, Arthur.

I’d never have fitted it in the bag

[Furmedge]

 

 

Went to Tesco before. There was two empty parent and child spaces and a woman went to park in one before me. In this case I’m happy to overlook the fact she was without a child, because it was by far the worst attempt at parking a car I’m ever likely to see. Even with the extra gaps provided for getting kids out she still managed to park across both spaces. Then she reversed out, slowly went back in and ended up diagonally across both spaces. Then she reversed out again, stalled the car, started it back up again and then parked half in the space and half in the allocated bay for getting kids out.

 

People parking in parent and child without a kid in tow is probably my biggest pet hate. The Asda in Aintree has had its parking spaces re-marked and they're now wider so the only reason people park in parent and child with no kids is not because they're worried their motor will be dented but because they're lazy fuckers. Two people this morning walked back to their cars this morning on their own while me and my daughter (with autism and no concept of danger so we need to park closer to the front of the store) sat and waited for an opening. But as long as the lazy cunt gets 50 yards closer to the shop than people who actually qualify and need it, that's ok. It's not the biggest crime in the world but it irritates me no end.

 

The worst ones are those who say they're only popping in for two minutes so can park outside a shop with their hazards flashing. Incidently this is both the sign for only popping in and being a discourteous prick.

[Captain Turdseye]

 

People parking in parent and child without a kid in tow is probably my biggest pet hate. The Asda in Aintree has had its parking spaces re-marked and they're now wider so the only reason people park in parent and child with no kids is not because they're worried their motor will be dented but because they're lazy fuckers. Two people this morning walked back to their cars this morning on their own while me and my daughter (with autism and no concept of danger so we need to park closer to the front of the store) sat and waited for an opening. But as long as the lazy cunt gets 50 yards closer to the shop than people who actually qualify and need it, that's ok. It's not the biggest crime in the world but it irritates me no end.

 

The worst ones are those who say they're only popping in for two minutes so can park outside a shop with their hazards flashing. Incidently this is both the sign for only popping in and being a discourteous prick.

I hate it as well mate. I’ve probably mentioned on here that I’ve had full-on rows with people over it, once even with an old lady.

 

That bird today though. I seriously doubt she’s capable of parking in any sized space. I wish I’d got it on video, it was so bad it would have gone viral by now.

[Furmedge]

Just realised my reply should have sat in the Have a rant thread. One of the people walking back to their car was a woman, so not it qualifies for here too.

[Rico1304]

I hate it as well mate. I’ve probably mentioned on here that I’ve had full-on rows with people over it, once even with an old lady.

 

That bird today though. I seriously doubt she’s capable of parking in any sized space. I wish I’d got it on video, it was so bad it would have gone viral by now.

I’ve run up to people before asking if they’ve forgotten their kid or if it’s been kidnapped.

 

Wife doesn’t like it.

[Harry Squatter]

Building a wardrobe today for my daughter and the Mrs keeps coming up every ten minutes to check on me then starts talking to me for ten minutes breaking my momentum and wondering why it's not getting done as fast as she thinks it should.

[Moo]

People parking in parent and child without a kid in tow is probably my biggest pet hate. The Asda in Aintree has had its parking spaces re-marked and they're now wider so the only reason people park in parent and child with no kids is not because they're worried their motor will be dented but because they're lazy fuckers. Two people this morning walked back to their cars this morning on their own while me and my daughter (with autism and no concept of danger so we need to park closer to the front of the store) sat and waited for an opening. But as long as the lazy cunt gets 50 yards closer to the shop than people who actually qualify and need it, that's ok. It's not the biggest crime in the world but it irritates me no end.

 

The worst ones are those who say they're only popping in for two minutes so can park outside a shop with their hazards flashing. Incidently this is both the sign for only popping in and being a discourteous prick.

This probably sounds really insensitive but why do you need to be closer to the entrance to the store? I'm not quite able to imagine why you can't, for example, carry your daughter, or hold her hand, or use reigns etc (sorry don't know her age)?

I hold my hands up and admit I don't have a child with special needs so cannot fully empathise, just trying to understand.

[Furmedge]

 

 

This probably sounds really insensitive but why do you need to be closer to the entrance to the store? I'm not quite able to imagine why you can't, for example, carry your daughter, or hold her hand, or use reigns etc (sorry don't know her age)?

I hold my hands up and admit I don't have a child with special needs so cannot empathise, just trying to understand.

Why are parent and child spaces closer to the store than normal spaces? Throw into the mix why are disabled spaces close to the store too? In the majority of instances it reduces the risk of having to cross rows of parked cars and the possibility of being injured or it's purely for convenience to those who can't walk 100-200 yards without a struggle. Why would an an adult or able bodied person think they have the right to use these spaces to make it a convenience for them and an inconvenience for others?

 

Regarding my daughter, she's four years old. Yes I can carry her in, and hold her hand when I go in. What about coming out with a trolley full of shopping? I could hold her by one hand and push the trolley with the other. I'll probably struggle to control either or both when crossing rows of parked cars or some arsehole tears past or ignores the crossings. Or, y'know, I could just use the spaces that are reserved for parents and children which reduces that risk tenfold.

 

If my daughter becomes overwhelmed in the store with noise, it would be nice to know I can get her from the shop and into the car without having to negotiate oncoming traffic.

 

Her sensory processing needs means she could be overloading or seeking sensory things, like the need to run, grab, squeeze.

 

Add to that, I have a 6 year old boy as well, so I could ask him to push the trolley I suppose while I carry my daughter, but that's not ideal. Hell probably crack the trolley into a parked car or walk in front of a moving one unable to stop the weight of the trolley.

 

See, it's not about making life easier for me, it's about making life easier for those who the spaces are reserved for.

 

I don't know if that answers your question. I don't find it insensitive, but I hope you can see it from the other side of the coin?

[Oh Buoy]

As Moo said, why not just park behind them and block them in until you've done your shopping? 

 

Here's another one from the Book of Shopping Cunts; 

 

Parking up near the entrance to wait for someone but not within the drop off zone. Parking next to the drop off zone and blocking the entire road like it's completely normal and not causing an obstruction. 

[Moo]

 

Why are parent and child spaces closer to the store than normal spaces? Throw into the mix why are disabled spaces close to the store too? In the majority of instances it reduces the risk of having to cross rows of parked cars and the possibility of being injured or it's purely for convenience to those who can't walk 100-200 yards without a struggle. Why would an an adult or able bodied person think they have the right to use these spaces to make it a convenience for them and an inconvenience for others?

 

Regarding my daughter, she's four years old. Yes I can carry her in, and hold her hand when I go in. What about coming out with a trolley full of shopping? I could hold her by one hand and push the trolley with the other. I'll probably struggle to control either or both when crossing rows of parked cars or some arsehole tears past or ignores the crossings. Or, y'know, I could just use the spaces that are reserved for parents and children which reduces that risk tenfold.

 

If my daughter becomes overwhelmed in the store with noise, it would be nice to know I can get her from the shop and into the car without having to negotiate oncoming traffic.

 

Her sensory processing needs means she could be overloading or seeking sensory things, like the need to run, grab, squeeze.

 

Add to that, I have a 6 year old boy as well, so I could ask him to push the trolley I suppose while I carry my daughter, but that's not ideal. Hell probably crack the trolley into a parked car or walk in front of a moving one unable to stop the weight of the trolley.

 

See, it's not about making life easier for me, it's about making life easier for those who the spaces are reserved for.

 

I don't know if that answers your question. I don't find it insensitive, but I hope you can see it from the other side of the coin?

Thanks for the reply, appreciate it. Yes it does help my understanding in cases like yours, but probably only in cases like yours if I'm honest. Just to add a third side to the coin, there will be adults who will have invisible disabilities and/or special needs who are not entitled to Blue Badges and I feel for them when there's no spaces near the entrance. Examples, elderly parents without great mobility, or forgetfulness making them liable to walk out in front of a car. I have an adult relative, not elderly, with learning disabilities who

can be very difficult to "manage" in public places, car parks being one of them. People who are ill but not hitting the threshold for a badge. There are other examples.

I'd just say that while it's easy to judge, you don't always know some people's situation.

[Captain Turdseye]

Also women who with no driving/parking ability who’ve evidently boffed their driving test examiner in return for a license.

[Furmedge]

 

 

Thanks for the reply, appreciate it. Yes it does help my understanding in cases like yours, but probably only in cases like yours if I'm honest. Just to add a third side to the coin, there will be adults who will have invisible disabilities and/or special needs who are not entitled to Blue Badges and I feel for them when there's no spaces near the entrance. Examples, elderly parents without great mobility, or forgetfulness making them liable to walk out in front of a car. I have an adult relative, not elderly, with learning disabilities who

can be very difficult to "manage" in public places, car parks being one of them. People who are ill but not hitting the threshold for a badge. There are other examples.

I'd just say that while it's easy to judge, you don't always know some people's situation.

My daughter's condition is classed as 'invisible' whilst actually being quite obvious in her mannerisms and inability to speak, and since her diagnosis I'm fully appreciative of adults and children alike who also have these type of issues, so I can safely say with my hand on heart that the two I saw this morning were far less worthy of a parent and child space than anyone who were entitled to it. They didn't struggle with mobility as they sauntered back to their cars and rolled their trolleys back. They were alone, they had nobody waiting in their cars, they popped their shopping in and drove off in their respective vehicles. The only problem they had was that they were inconsiderate, lazy fuckers.

[Harry Squatter]

A woman I work with yesterday came out with a classic. Apparently if you get AIDS it can be cured by chemotherapy.

[Lee909]

A woman I work with yesterday came out with a classic. Apparently if you get AIDS it can be cured by chemotherapy.

Fuck sake why did nobody tell Rock Hudson,Freddy Mercury or Mark Fowler

[Paulie Dangerously]

Been training my replacement in work.  A woman in her 30s, husband and 2 kids.  

 

She was talking to another woman in our work about how her fella went out on Saturday night with the lads and didn't get in until 4am and didn't ring her or anything.  They then got into a discussion on how they'd previously punished their partners for such indiscretions (or having fun, as you and I call it).  This included various petty shit like not speaking to them at all for a number of days, cooking tea for themselves and the kids but not him, going out on "revenge nights out" for which I'm confident their fellas didn't give a fuck. 

 

Could not imagine living in a climate of fear like that which meant any fun I had came with a cost.  LadyD and I have disagreements, we have it out, we resolve it or agree to disagree and then we get on with our fucking day.  Don't think we've ever gone to bed on a row let alone let tensions go on for a number of days, it's absolutely no way to live.

 

The none-new woman then started going on about how when her fella is out she makes him send his location on whatsapp on demand to make sure he's not in the strippers or "anywhere dodgy" and the new girl goes "That's a brilliant idea actually, I'm going to start doing that!"

 

Loons. 

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Aye, just fit them with tracking collars and big anti scratching dog comes so that can't muff anyone out.

 

Problem solvers, these women. Definitely not problem generators.

[Elite]

Been training my replacement in work. A woman in her 30s, husband and 2 kids.

 

She was talking to another woman in our work about how her fella went out on Saturday night with the lads and didn't get in until 4am and didn't ring her or anything. They then got into a discussion on how they'd previously punished their partners for such indiscretions (or having fun, as you and I call it). This included various petty shit like not speaking to them at all for a number of days, cooking tea for themselves and the kids but not him, going out on "revenge nights out" for which I'm confident their fellas didn't give a fuck.

 

Could not imagine living in a climate of fear like that which meant any fun I had came with a cost. LadyD and I have disagreements, we have it out, we resolve it or agree to disagree and then we get on with our fucking day. Don't think we've ever gone to bed on a row let alone let tensions go on for a number of days, it's absolutely no way to live.

 

The none-new woman then started going on about how when her fella is out she makes him send his location on whatsapp on demand to make sure he's not in the strippers or "anywhere dodgy" and the new girl goes "That's a brilliant idea actually, I'm going to start doing that!"

 

Loons.

The men put up with it, it's partly their fault. You need to put a stop to anything like that as soon as you are together.