My son is such a twat

[Mike D]

across Bromborough!

 

surprised everyone's missed the problem ;)

 

[YOUTUBE]NzlG28B-R8Y[/YOUTUBE]

[Unrighteous]

#37,826

 

Him: Whoa!!! What's going on with your hair??

Me: What do you mean?

Him: Well it's like, dead short on one side and long on the other!

Me: That's how it's supposed to be.

Him: Well it looks stupid. When did you get that done??

Me: Six months ago.

Him: Get lost.

Me: It was six months ago.

Him: Mad. I never noticed!

 

hahahaha

[Nantwich girl]

This is the 10 year old. He just went to bed, and got changed and came back down for a drink with his top off. His arms were all bruised and I asked what he'd done. He said "Oh that's from Charities Week".

 

For one week every year in school the kids take a load of slummy in every day, and the older kids run stalls and stuff at playtime and all the money goes to charity. Anyway, I thought he must've been doing an assault course or something and fallen off. When I questioned him further he told me he'd got the bruises from 'Penny a Smack'. He very proudly informed me that he'd raised 11 Pounds and 79 pence. So I asked "You mean you actually let people smack you for money?"

 

For the princely sum of 1 shiny penny my son has been letting other kids punch him. 1,179 times it seems. He told me a massive year 6 lad had nearly knocked him out. When I asked him why the hell he'd done it he looked at me like I was soft and said "It was for a good cause".

 

I don't know whether to feel proud, or make him an appointment with a psychologist. I despair of the lad. One day he's going to end up as the dozy sidekick of a megalomaniac.

 

I'm absolutely certain social services will believe that one!

It's certainly more unusual than hebfell down the stairs!!!!

[JohnnyH]

Greatest thread name ever. When I opened up the GF and saw the thread title I laughed so hard I actually farted. Brilliant.

 

I wrote this on the 14th June 2008 at 6:34pm.

 

It still applies.

[Fowlers God]

Brilliant thread.

[waiting game]

Brilliant thread.

 

Some good posts in here. Its good to see i'm not the only one who things their kids may be nuts!

 

I don't understand anyone anymore. My little'uns, my mrs, my work, my mates.

 

Everyone is weird but me. Unless i'm the one who is weird... No, that cant be it, its everyone else.

[Anubis]

As we're bumping old SKI threads, this is classic......

 

 

http://www.liverpoolway.co.uk/forum/gf-general-forum/60276-i-am-living-disgrace.html

[She Knows It]

He's going on a school trip next week to the Museum of Science & Industry in Manchester, and they can wear their own clothes so he said he wanted a new outfit to go in. This is actually what he bought:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Furmedge]

I like this kid.

[Captain]

Like father, like son . . . .

[Anubis]

I can see the science angle.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Actually, I'm lying. I can't.

[lifetime fan]

He's going on a school trip next week to the Museum of Science & Industry in Manchester, and they can wear their own clothes so he said he wanted a new outfit to go in. This is actually what he bought:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You've never had a one night stand in Bristol have you?!

[Anubis]

You've never had a one night stand in Bristol have you?!

 

No she hasn't. Pretty much everywhere else. But not Bristol.

[Unrighteous]

... A banana suit. I'd like to say that I get it... but I don't.

[She Knows It]

... A banana suit. I'd like to say that I get it... but I don't.

 

He doesn't want to go on the trip. He told the teacher he couldn't go because his family was poor and we couldn't afford it (it's £7.50). I told him I didn't think that excuse would cut it, as they see him getting dropped off every morning in a Merc. Now his brainwave is that if he rocks up to school dressed as a banana, they'll send him home.

 

What he doesn't know is that I'm going to give his form teacher the heads up, and drop a trackie off at the school.

[lifetime fan]

He doesn't want to go on the trip. He told the teacher he couldn't go because his family was poor and we couldn't afford it (it's £7.50). I told him I didn't think that excuse would cut it, as they see him getting dropped off every morning in a Merc. Now his brainwave is that if he rocks up to school dressed as a banana, they'll send him home.

 

What he doesn't know is that I'm going to give his form teacher the heads up, and drop a trackie off at the school.

 

I'm fucking crying here!

 

Buy the lad a season ticket on here.

[Unrighteous]

He doesn't want to go on the trip. He told the teacher he couldn't go because his family was poor and we couldn't afford it (it's £7.50). I told him I didn't think that excuse would cut it, as they see him getting dropped off every morning in a Merc. Now his brainwave is that if he rocks up to school dressed as a banana, they'll send him home.

 

What he doesn't know is that I'm going to give his form teacher the heads up, and drop a trackie off at the school.

 

Are you sure that Simon isn't the father somehow?

[lifetime fan]

Are you sure that Simon isn't the father somehow?

 

Give over.

 

This guy is intentionally funny.

[melons]

He doesn't want to go on the trip. He told the teacher he couldn't go because his family was poor and we couldn't afford it (it's £7.50). I told him I didn't think that excuse would cut it, as they see him getting dropped off every morning in a Merc. Now his brainwave is that if he rocks up to school dressed as a banana, they'll send him home.

 

What he doesn't know is that I'm going to give his form teacher the heads up, and drop a trackie off at the school.

 

 

Hand on heart, i absolutely love this child.

[Trucker Paddy]

 

He doesn't want to go on the trip. He told the teacher he couldn't go because his family was poor and we couldn't afford it (it's £7.50). I told him I didn't think that excuse would cut it, as they see him getting dropped off every morning in a Merc. Now his brainwave is that if he rocks up to school dressed as a banana, they'll send him home.

 

What he doesn't know is that I'm going to give his form teacher the heads up, and drop a trackie off at the school.

 

Brilliant

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

He doesn't want to go on the trip. He told the teacher he couldn't go because his family was poor and we couldn't afford it (it's £7.50). I told him I didn't think that excuse would cut it, as they see him getting dropped off every morning in a Merc. Now his brainwave is that if he rocks up to school dressed as a banana, they'll send him home.

 

What he doesn't know is that I'm going to give his form teacher the heads up, and drop a trackie off at the school.

 

Your son isn't a twat, he's a total fucking legend. Not many kids have the bollocks to take on an establishment in the way he is. I'd be proud as punch.

[Anubis]

What he doesn't know is that I'm going to give his form teacher the heads up, and drop a trackie off at the school.

 

If you really wanted to hammer the message home it wouldn't be a trackie. it would be one of your dresses.

[lifetime fan]

If you really wanted to hammer the message home it wouldn't be a trackie. it would be one of your dresses.

 

Now that is a twat Ski.

 

Repped though.

[Trucker Paddy]

Why does he not want to go on the trip? Day off school, bit of Craic etc

[Stu Monty]

The planetarium is pretty fucking ace in there. You should tell him that, I'm sure it'll be a deal breaker.