Tory Cabinet Thread

[lifetime fan]

Just now, Bruce Spanner said:

 

Yes, they stick to English sparkling wine now, allegedly.

It’s a real fucking hate of mine; you have a few quid so you can’t have a moral conscience. 
 

Absolute fucking tripe! 
 

Fair fucks to anyone who has a few quid, the world would be a damn sight better with more people happy to pay a few pence more for a fairer society. 

[Babb'sBurstNad]

Don't listen to them Bruce, I can't stand materialistic bollocks or stealth brags either. 

 

It annoys me almost as much as people putting the toilet paper on the holder the wrong way round at my house. Just look what some swine did!

 

[YorkshireRed]

2 minutes ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

Don't listen to them Bruce, I can't stand materialistic bollocks or stealth brags either. 

 

It annoys me almost as much as people putting the toilet paper on the holder the wrong way round at my house. Just look what some swine did!

 

You just can’t get the staff these days. 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

9 minutes ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

Don't listen to them Bruce, I can't stand materialistic bollocks or stealth brags either. 

 

It annoys me almost as much as people putting the toilet paper on the holder the wrong way round at my house. Just look what some swine did!

 

I feel your pain. Mrs O'T often doesn't replace the toilet roll at all.

 

[Babb'sBurstNad]

6 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

You just can’t get the staff these days. 

I don't like the term "staff", it's a bit too Tory, as it implies a heirarchy. I have "helpers". Helpers who'll earn their freedom after a period of cooperative servitude

[YorkshireRed]

1 minute ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

I don't like the term "staff", it's a bit too Tory, as it implies a heirarchy. I have "helpers". Helpers who'll earn their freedom after a period of cooperative servitude

Ah, I get it. So I’m the wife’s “helper” then. Roll on Freedom Day. 

[Elite]

No wonder they call him Bruce Spanner, I spotted this to the far left of that photo...

 

[lifetime fan]

Just need Bruce to post a breakfast pic on the south lawn now. 

[Elite]

8 minutes ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

I feel your pain. Mrs O'T often doesn't replace the toilet roll at all.

 

I had the shits on an excursion many moons ago in Egypt, had to use a bog very similar to that in one of those quad biking places. No bog roll either, proper panic attack inducer.

[A Red]

1 hour ago, Bruce Spanner said:

 

 

Everyone on here has lives which they largely shield on here, I know a fair few in real life and they're doing alright for themselves, but don't find the need to shoehorn in some grasping, materalistic, humble brags, it's fucking pathetic.

 

I think you might be missing the point somewhat. The above is exactly why i'm taking the piss out of you. Thats all it is, piss taking, it doesnt bother me whatever you drive, fair fucks to you. 

 

When you placed that fob you were probably pissed and wanting to show off a bit, again fair fucks to you.

[A Red]

1 hour ago, Istvan Kuntstain said:

Haha Cuntz and A Queg jealous as fuck.... 

 

 

I get the feeling you might not like me. Now, seeing as youre the forum hardman and a bit fighty, should I be worried?

[lifetime fan]

6 minutes ago, A Red said:

I get the feeling you might not like me. Now, seeing as youre the forum hardman and a bit fighty, should I be worried?

Only if he wants to take you on a date to KFC. 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

17 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

Only if he wants to take you on a date to KFC. 

Bollocks to that. Get Bruce to pay for them to meet up at the London Carriage Works or Panoramic 34.

[PestiRed]

Bloody Australians stealing all the jobs, Bentleys and London property 

[Bruce Spanner]

20 minutes ago, A Red said:

I think you might be missing the point somewhat. The above is exactly why i'm taking the piss out of you. Thats all it is, piss taking, it doesnt bother me whatever you drive, fair fucks to you. 

 

When you placed that fob you were probably pissed and wanting to show off a bit, again fair fucks to you.

Again, no idea why you keep bringing up cars, I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned them.

 

Anyway, it wasn’t particularly aimed at you, but you have sufficient sand in you knickers for it to be reasonably amusing, so hey ho.

[Red_or_Dead]

1 minute ago, Bruce Spanner said:

Ag

 

You still haven't even said what the fuck was on the plate Bruce!

 

Also, did you nick the phone from work?

 

 

[A Red]

2 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

Again, no idea why you keep bringing up cars, I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned them.

 

Anyway, it wasn’t particularly aimed at you, but you have sufficient sand in you knickers for it to be reasonably amusing, so hey ho.

I know you didnt, thats whats funny!!

 

 

[A Red]

15 minutes ago, Istvan Kuntstain said:

Sorry have I offered you out? you're right on the don't like you or Cuntz though , find you both snide condescending cunts. 

No problem, was just wondering if you were building up to it.

[magicrat]

6 hours ago, Elite said:

No wonder they call him Bruce Spanner, I spotted this to the far left of that photo...

 

Who the fuck would ever need an 11mm spanner ?  

[Babb'sBurstNad]

3 minutes ago, magicrat said:

Who the fuck would ever need an 11mm spanner ?  

Some places use/used some odd sizes. I've been tinkering with an old bicycle and I swear everything is a fraction away from sane measurements. Which lunatic decided a 13/16" seat post was a good idea?

[magicrat]

2 minutes ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

Some places use/used some odd sizes. I've been tinkering with an old bicycle and I swear everything is a fraction away from sane measurements. Which lunatic decided a 13/16" seat post was a good idea?

Maybe whitworth sizes mate. Is it a penny-farthing you're renovating ?

[Babb'sBurstNad]

5 minutes ago, magicrat said:

Maybe whitworth sizes mate. Is it a penny-farthing you're renovating ?

Nearly, it's a '60s US beach cruiser. I've taken to just using an adjustable spanner to save the constant toolbox rooting around. 

[Jimmy Hills Chin]

17 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

If you can afford a Bentley then you should have better fucking chopping boards than those plastic bits of shit. 
 

This fucking place. 
 

 

Edited: A fucking Bentley and Joseph Joseph shite plastic chopping boards? 
 

Someone needs to have a fucking word with their interior designer pronto. 

Fucking hell, I thought they were files. Need to go back to Specsavers.

[Bruce Spanner]

[YorkshireRed]

I know she’s not a Cabinet Minister but I’ve just watched Helen Whately being interviewed on BBC Breakfast. 
 

Looked her up and see she’s an Oxford University Graduate and former employee of PriceWaterhouse and McKinsey. I can only assume that this has been a ‘who you know, rather than what you know’ state of affairs as I’ve rarely seen someone so effortlessly incompetent. 
 

Well, other than half the Cabinet and the floppy haired shambles at its head that is.