Instant cunt identifiers

[Liverpool lad]

People who phone multiple taxi companies to see which one arrives first

[Curly]

People who go to watch darts

I always think what a good laugh the darts looks like when I see it on telly. Looks a good atmosphere and everyone's bladdered. Boss.

[Harry Squatter]

People who still go on about Liverpool being a shithole and that everyone robs cars. This is despite the fact that most places in England are shite, have high crime rates and usually populated by utter twats.

[Section_31]

Anyone who actually volunteers to organise a stag do.

 

Sent from my XT1032 using Tapatalk

 

 

[Dr Nowt]

Anyone who actually volunteers to organise a stag do.

 

Sent from my XT1032 using Tapatalk

And send group emails, including to people they don't know, which begin 'hola, compadres!'

[Bjornebye]

Hahaha my mate who lives in Utah proposed to his bird last week. he wants to marry her in Hawaii and have his stag-do in Vegas. He has asked me to be one of his best-men and also asked me to organise the stag. Cheeky cunt thinks were gonna be flying round the world twice he can think again. Stag-do is more important than the wedding anyway. 

 

And the opening line in the group email will be 'right then cunts' 

[thegreatelephant]

anyone on a hoverboard

[SammyAftershave]

anyone on a hoverboard

 

Anyone on a skateboard.

 

Partularly so when over the age of 12.

 

Even more so when they have a beard.

 

Cunts!

[thegreatelephant]

Anyone on a skateboard.

 

Partularly so when over the age of 12.

 

Even more so when they have a beard.

 

Cunts!

was more of a bmx bandit at that age

[Carvalho Diablo]

Hahaha my mate who lives in Utah proposed to his bird last week. he wants to marry her in Hawaii and have his stag-do in Vegas. He has asked me to be one of his best-men and also asked me to organise the stag. Cheeky cunt thinks were gonna be flying round the world twice he can think again. Stag-do is more important than the wedding anyway. 

 

And the opening line in the group email will be 'right then cunts' 

 

My opening line of my Best Man speech was very similar, "I hate this cunt..."

 

Meant it too.

[redinblack62]

People who go social media saying that National Service should be reintroduced.

[Section_31]

People who go social media saying that National Service should be reintroduced.

Or mentions the death penalty and/or Ian Huntly.

 

Anyone who counts cash fast.

 

Sent from my XT1032 using Tapatalk

 

 

[Bjornebye]

Cunts who moan all over social media about it being Monday tomorrow

 

 

[Liverpool lad]

Cunts who moan all over social media about it being Monday tomorrow

 

 

 

 

Well said.  After having a few days off I am not exactly made up to be back in tomorrow but I think I can make it back into the work without a big song and dance

[stringvest]

Well said.  After having a few days off I am not exactly made up to be back in tomorrow but I think I can make it back into the work without a big song and dance

 

what's wrong with you Mark?  Let your camp out...

 

[Oh Buoy]

Anyone remotely cheery today. 

[Section_31]

Anyone under 25 who works in an office and has the word 'executive' in their job title, especially women. 

[General Dryness]

Anyone under 25 who works in an office and has the word 'executive' in their job title, especially women.

Yep, you'd better believe that's a paddlin.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Anyone under 25 who works in an office and has the word 'executive' in their job title, especially women. 

 

Can I ask why 'especially women'?

[Bjornebye]

Can I ask why 'especially women'?

Executive snakes with tits

[General Dryness]

Executive snakes with tits

This.

 

Its not sexist or misogynist or any other goddamn ist. The fact of the matter is that women are slyer than men. Stick them in the office environment, slyer still. Give them some power, slymageddon.

[Curly]

People who say, "my friend" at the end of a statement, which is usually bollocks and almost always condescending and an attempt at sounding prophetic.

 

"Life is a roller coaster, my friend"

 

I'm not you're friend and you're a cunt.

[Babb'sBurstNad]

Anyone who replies to a common phrase by extending the analogy:

 

"You know what they say, actions speak louder than words"

"Well, now I'm shouting"

"Eh?"

[VladimirIlyich]

 

 

Anyone who replies to a common phrase by extending the analogy:

 

"You know what they say, actions speak louder than words"

'Yep,so fuck off and prove it.'

 

 

[Jairzinho]

They're pretty much inviting you to headbutt them.