The world of a woman.

[Creator Supreme]

Same thing as you say every morning mate.

 

"Git your mooth roond ma cock ye fuckin slag ye. And tickle ma baws while yir aboot it. And dinnae think yir gittin any Vaseline roond yir hole the morn, ah'm gaun in fuckin dry."

Is Mook Jamesie Cotter?

[General Dryness]

Is Mook Jamesie Cotter?

I'm sorry, I speak fluent Irvine Welsh Scottish. I'm sure Mooks life has less heroin and violence than one of Mr Welsh's novels.

 

Only a bit less, obviously.

[Sputnik1]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2017/09/12/men-obese-wives-should-screened-diabetes-experts-say/

 

Men are more likely to develop diabetes if their wife is obese, but women living with overweight men are not at greater risk, new research has found.

 

The first ever sex-specific study to investigate the effect of spousal obesity showed husbands were 21 per cent more likely to become type 2 diabetic, mainly because they share their wives’ poor eating and exercising habits.

 

However, the scientists behind the study could not explain why the reverse appears not also true.

 

They are now calling for men aged 50 and over living with obese women to be screened for disease, which currently affects more than 3.4 million adults in England.

 

 

 

Good luck trying to tell the wife why you’re going for a screening for diabetes

[s(k)aturation]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2017/09/12/men-obese-wives-should-screened-diabetes-experts-say/

 

Men are more likely to develop diabetes if their wife is obese, but women living with overweight men are not at greater risk, new research has found.

 

The first ever sex-specific study to investigate the effect of spousal obesity showed husbands were 21 per cent more likely to become type 2 diabetic, mainly because they share their wives’ poor eating and exercising habits.

 

However, the scientists behind the study could not explain why the reverse appears not also true.

 

They are now calling for men aged 50 and over living with obese women to be screened for disease, which currently affects more than 3.4 million adults in England.

 

 

 

Good luck trying to tell the wife why you’re going for a screening for diabetes

 

 

Hey, Adam, I've found this toffee apple tree.

[Harry Squatter]

Went to my aunties funeral in Ainsdale today and had to drive to the cemetery from there, I didn't know the way so my cousin gave me a lift. Despite my cousin living all her life in Ainsdale and the fact that my uncle was buried in the same place she managed to get lost in her car and we almost missed the burial.

[Harry Squatter]

Went to my aunties funeral in Ainsdale today and had to drive to the cemetery from there, I didn't know the way so my cousin gave me a lift. Despite my cousin living all her life in Ainsdale and the fact that my uncle was buried in the same place she managed to get lost in her car and we almost missed the burial.

[Ranxerox]

We moved last Dec and one reason we ended up where we did was my wife wanted to be able to walk to work. Of course not once did she avail herself of this "must have" feature which severely limited our choice when we were shopping for a home.

 

As it happens I like where we ended up just fine but when teachers had to report back in Sept I goaded her into walking to work one morning. At the end of the day she requested I pick her up. "How did your walk go this AM" I asked expecting to hear complaints about it taking too long etc. What follows was her account. My thoughts at the time are in brackets.

 

"My god don't ever let me do that again (this should be good) When I got to (main road) So and so (some twit she works with) who has a black SUV was driving by in the opposite direction. She stopped and rolled down her window to ask what time we started today. I said I don't know (sounds about right) . She said she was dropping her kids off at daycare first and did I want a ride to school on her way back. I said sure. (Jeezus you never even made it a quarter of the way?) She had to get going as cars were lining up behind her (She backed up traffic to talk? Across the road?) As I'm approaching an entrance to that church a black car turns in front of me, it's so and so ( wait car? Thought it was an SUV?) and I grab the door handle to get in but it's locked. I look at the driver and it's not so and so (jeezus) but some old lady with a worried look on her face who has now stopped half in and half out of the road. (Fucking hell when does the accident happen) I step back and she pulls into the church parking lot and there is some guy there staring at me now, he seems to be waiting for her (probably going to call the cops). I figured he might call the cops so I waved and kept on walking . So and so never did pick me up so I had to go all the way. Crazy huh? (FFS)

 

Needless to say she hasn't tried walking again.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Central heating season is upon us. This thread usual peaks about now

[Furmedge]

Central heating season is upon us. This thread usual peaks about now

It's been on since 5am. I can see mirages.

[Captain Turdseye]

Central heating season is upon us. This thread usual peaks about now

Mine asked yesterday if it was time to switch it back on because she was cold. Here's an idea, babe. Let's try closing the back door and all of the upstairs windows first.

[Sweeney287]

Ours has been on in the morning all week. Still waiting for the evening session to kick in.

[Josef Svejk]

We had the central heating on before September arrived. Guess who thought that was necessary?

[Paulie Dangerously]

Ours was on this morning when I got in from the gym.  Sweated more eating my breakfast

 

We've got a smart meter which gives you a blue, green and red house symbol.  The second it goes below 20 degrees it's blue.  Lady D hasn't cottoned onto this yet but I can see the thing getting lashed shortly. 

[Harry Squatter]

Dropped my daughter off at school and it was pissing down so went and sat in the reception area by the main office because the class doors weren't open.

 

Some scruffy skanky bitch who had 3 kids in there was moaning that her kids had no coats on and it was pissing down. She was whingeing at the receptionist about the class doors being closed.

 

It had been pissing down for an hour before school time so any normal person would have given their kids a coat. Nope, not this stupid bitch.

[Sputnik1]

The easiest way to deal with global warming would be to burn women for electricity. Kill two birds with one stone, I mean us blokes wouldn’t ever bother with the central heating much. Who needs some Paris agreement when I’m solving this shit on my own.

 

Obviously I’m only joking and don’t condone burning the females, Christ the smell of burning fat wouldn’t be worth the overall savings.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Dropped my daughter off at school and it was pissing down so went and sat in the reception area by the main office because the class doors weren't open.

 

Some scruffy skanky bitch who had 3 kids in there was moaning that her kids had no coats on and it was pissing down. She was whingeing at the receptionist about the class doors being closed.

 

It had been pissing down for an hour before school time so any normal person would have given their kids a coat. Nope, not this stupid bitch.

 

I occasionally forget to lift my daughters coat (we usually keep on in the car, and sometimes this backup plan has vanished too) but I wouldn't dream of highlighting my ineptitude by attempting to have a go at someone else.

[Sputnik1]

I occasionally forget to lift my daughters coat (we usually keep on in the car, and sometimes this backup plan has vanished too) but I wouldn't dream of highlighting my ineptitude by attempting to have a go at someone else.

World of a woman summed up right there at the end of your post.

[Karl_b]

Are all women's cars a complete tip? I don't own a car so I've gotten up early this morning so I can drop her bad self off at work so I can have her car to run some errands. I've had to empty the boot of junk first, there are bottles and rubbish all over and it hasn't been hoovered in months.

 

"Well you could clean it if you get chance on your day off."

 

Or, I could get all of my jobs done, including the ones you've left me for the house and you could clean it yourself?

[Jose Jones]

Karl_b, on 15 Sept 2017 - 4:03 PM, said:

 

Are all women's cars a complete tip? I don't own a car so I've gotten up early this morning so I can drop her bad self off at work so I can have her car to run some errands. I've had to empty the boot of junk first, there are bottles and rubbish all over and it hasn't been hoovered in months.

 

"Well you could clean it if you get chance on your day off."

 

Or, I could get all of my jobs done, including the ones you've left me for the house and you could clean it yourself?

I have a car with work these days, so I use it 3 or 4 days a week, plus we use it on the weekend. I fill it up with petrol as required and keep it tidy then clean it every now and again.

We kept our old car because we couldn't sell it for any money and the wife uses it on odd occasions, mostly to take the kids to school once or twice a week. It is a complete and utter disgrace of a mess, and if I ever have the misfortune to drive it, the petrol light is always on. I am ignoring cleaning or tidying it out of principle. There'll be new lifeforms evolving in there soon.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Are all women's cars a complete tip? I don't own a car so I've gotten up early this morning so I can drop her bad self off at work so I can have her car to run some errands. I've had to empty the boot of junk first, there are bottles and rubbish all over and it hasn't been hoovered in months.

 

"Well you could clean it if you get chance on your day off."

 

Or, I could get all of my jobs done, including the ones you've left me for the house and you could clean it yourself?

 

We share 2 cars and both are a tip with breakfast bar wrappers, empty water bottles etc.  I don't eat in the car and rarely drink, and if I do I take my bottle or can with me. 

[Trumo]

Are all women's cars a complete tip? I don't own a car so I've gotten up early this morning so I can drop her bad self off at work so I can have her car to run some errands. I've had to empty the boot of junk first, there are bottles and rubbish all over and it hasn't been hoovered in months.

 

"Well you could clean it if you get chance on your day off."

 

Or, I could get all of my jobs done, including the ones you've left me for the house and you could clean it yourself?

 

You never see a woman eat a granola bar, and yet they'll always have one amongst the other junk in their car. Must be saving it for the coming apocalypse.

[Beno]

We have 2 cars and mine very rarely needs tidying as if I have anything in it I'll take it with me when getting out. Hers on the other hand is a complete shit tip. Half full bottles of coke or water, more hair than in shaggy dogs basket, breakfast biscuits, porridge pots, make up, hairbrushes, about a tenner worth of plastic shopping bags(cos she never re-use them) and for some reason loads of leaves and grass. Wouldn't mind but she doesn't really use it loads.

Can't figure out why they are so blind to the shit state of their car but moan like fuck if you so much as leave a cup lying around the house.

[Harry Squatter]

Been off with the kids all week while she is away. Place is tidy, kids never late for school, uniforms sorted, washing done, fed well every night, even took my son to a hospital appointment. Fucking doddle.

 

Normally i come home to a fucking shit tip. Most mornings the kids are rushed out the house with a minute to spare. Always say she never has time to tidy the house.

[Trumo]

We have 2 cars and mine very rarely needs tidying as if I have anything in it I'll take it with me when getting out. Hers on the other hand is a complete shit tip. Half full bottles of coke or water, more hair than in shaggy dogs basket, breakfast biscuits, porridge pots, make up, hairbrushes, about a tenner worth of plastic shopping bags(cos she never re-use them) and for some reason loads of leaves and grass. Wouldn't mind but she doesn't really use it loads.

Can't figure out why they are so blind to the shit state of their car but moan like fuck if you so much as leave a cup lying around the house.

 

Sounds like a mobile dogging B&B. Just saying.

[Rico1304]

We are giving away one of our car seats to some friends. So to save them buying a car seat we are having to buy a new car seat. Woman's logic.