Shit barbers

[Captain Turdseye]

I once got a haircut from a mates bird who was training to be a hairdresser. It was at his house at about 4am and everyone present was under the influence of ecstasy. Two of us got haircuts and both of us then had to borrow hats to walk to my ma's when morning broke so she could put right this girls monumental fuck ups with a pair of clippers. It was like a reverse short back and sides. A long back and sides if you will.

[Dr Nowt]

Never knew you used to be Pat Sharpe, John.

[Kidder Bukowski]

Always remember the only Lennie Henry sketch I ever laughed at which was set in a barbers and some baldy fella came in asking for all sorts of haircut ideas and he was just pretend cutting over the top of his head and the fella called him a Chinese bastard. Sounds daft but was funny at the time.

 

I used to have to take me auld fella to the barbers when he was on his last legs and it was always an experience. 'How would you like it cut?', 'In silence.'

'Is that ok for you?', 'no put it back' he would say on every visit. The last time I ever took him the fella replied he'd be a fuckin millionaire if he could!

 

Worst one I ever had was in the barbers in West Derby Village where a young blert bitter kicked off while cutting my hair when I said we had deserved to win the derby. An argument I was prepared to concede for purely aesthetic reasons.

[KMD7]

I just take in a picture of Xabi Alonso.

[Harry Squatter]

Not a shit barbers but I take my son to a barbers in Huyton which is owned by some scally bird with big tits. She's very patient with him and does a good job.

 

My son hates having his haircut and hates loud noises. Even the clippers set him off. I have to sit it the chair and hold him while she cuts his hair and he starts moving around. The bonus of this is that she needs to get close to him to cut his hair so she ends up pushing her massive tits right into my face and seems oblivious to the fact that she is doing it.

 

It's like paying 6 quid for a hairy lapdance.

[Furmedge]

Not a shit barbers but I take my son to a barbers in Huyton which is owned by some scally bird with big tits. She's very patient with him and does a good job.

 

My son hates having his haircut and hates loud noises. Even the clippers set him off. I have to sit it the chair and hold him while she cuts his hair and he starts moving around. The bonus of this is that she needs to get close to him to cut his hair so she ends up pushing her massive tits right into my face and seems oblivious to the fact that she is doing it.

 

It's like paying 6 quid for a hairy lapdance.

And the address is?

[Furmedge]

I went to that Barbers No.1 in town before it was where the hipsters went, it was down the road from my work. Asked for a standard 2 on the sides, tidy up on the top but ended up with a side part close to my ear. Walked out with a Hitler cut, went home and buzzed it all off. Cost me £14 quid as well!

[sir roger]

Got mine cut on Saturday & have been absolutely scalped.

 

Always considered my hair as growing like wild mint but seriously starting to wonder whether I am actually going bit bald it's that see-through now.

[Bjornebye]

I went to that Barbers No.1 in town before it was where the hipsters went, it was down the road from my work. Asked for a standard 2 on the sides, tidy up on the top but ended up with a side part close to my ear. Walked out with a Hitler cut, went home and buzzed it all off. Cost me £14 quid as well!

Just off Dale st? My mate works in there and I.swear they only do 1 cut. Apart from when firmino goes in. Never had a cut in there but popped in for a beer

[Furmedge]

Just off Dale st? My mate works in there and I.swear they only do 1 cut. Apart from when firmino goes in. Never had a cut in there but popped in for a beer

Yeah I was working in the Cotton Exchange so only had a little walk there. I never went back.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

I go to my local hairdresser (no barbers in my town) and get the same 3 back and sides, short cut as I have for 15 years. No hair drama.

 

Except if they are too busy and I go somewhere else because I want it done for heading out etc (I let it get way too messy before I could be arsed to get it cut again). Then sometimes the new hairdressers butcher it. They manage to mess up a simple mens trim. Wildly different lengths all over the place. Just mind blowing how they manage it.

[stringvest]

I have to get mine cut every 3-4 weeks max otherwise it looks like a burst couch.  There is a rank bad barbers in my local village - almost as bad as Dennis Kerrigan's - run by a couple of young girls who should not be allowed near scissors or anything sharp, so I go into a place called Jacks in Guildford.  £24, but they do give you a beer.  

[VladimirIlyich]

Once a week with 25 quid hair clippers.

[Hand Shandy]

I have to get mine cut every 3-4 weeks max otherwise it looks like a burst couch. There is a rank bad barbers in my local village - almost as bad as Dennis Kerrigan's - run by a couple of young girls who should not be allowed near scissors or anything sharp, so I go into a place called Jacks in Guildford. £24, but they do give you a beer.

For £24 I'd want a blowie...

[Captain Turdseye]

For £24 I'd want a blowie...

I'll PM you Stig's PayPal details mate.

[KMD7]

 

My mane is fast approaching this stage.

[Hand Shandy]

I'll PM you Stig's PayPal details mate.

Already got 'em.

[Furmedge]

Already got 'em.

Is it still stigsstickyending@gmail.com?

[Hand Shandy]

Nah. He's changed it to pleasedontcomeinmyeyes@gmail.com.

[Shitty Arse]

A lad in work said he was in Tommy Torbo's on Scotland Road & a young guy brought a picture clipped from a mag & said " I was thinking of something like that " and the barber said " Were you lad ? ,well think again, you'll get a number 2 like everybody fucking else in here " .

I remember getting my hair cut in here when I was a kid for 50p! Is it still there?

[sir roger]

I remember getting my hair cut in here when I was a kid for 50p! Is it still there?

 

According to facebook there are 4 outlets including the original one on Scotty Road which was set up in 1965, and they are also tattooists now.

 

I imagine the cuts would be upwards of a quid by now though.

[ben48]

"Would you like anything on it sir", Yes a fuckin bobble hat!. I heard once many years ago.

[Kidder Bukowski]

"Would you like anything on it sir", Yes a fuckin bobble hat!. I heard once many years ago.

Like that!

[lifetime fan]

On 05/07/2014 at 19:42, lifetime fan said:

I've been using the same barbers for 16 years now, they aint cheap at £17.50 but in that time I've been somewhere else about 6 times and every time I came out looking an even bigger cunt.

 

How fucking difficult is it to do a number 3 on the sides and back, get rid of the curls and thin my hair? I'm not even expecting them to do able to do anything with my bastard cow lick.

 

Went up to Bristol for the weekend and went to my old barbers.

 

I no longer need my hair thinning and it's it's now £25.50!

 

Robbing cunts. 

[Harry's Lad]

I haven't paid for a haircut in 30 years since I started developing an M head.

Argos - Wahl clippers -  no guard -  as short as it can be and that'll do for me.

Much better than looking like Letchkov which is what I would have looked like the way my barnet was going.