little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Paulie Dangerously]

As I was turning into work today what I can only describe as an F1 style super car turned in behind me.  Fella looked like the stig, full gear on, engine making my windows rattle, revving the fuck out of it as I was pulling my 2012 207 into my usual space he got into the Disabled bays of our work.  He made a big show of unclipping his helmet, jumping out of it like frankie de fucking tory and then looking around to see who had seen him and his car. 

 

 I didn't even look his way because as a rule I always try not to give attention seekers what they want.  He was stood by his car, helmet under his arm like Damon Hill (not in his pomp, now, as in approaching 60) and suddenly a few people from my work poured out of the front door and ran over to lick his rectum.  "wow!" "gee mister nice wheels!" "would you like to shag my wife?"

 

CRINGE

[General Dryness]

That fucking cunts me off. The owner of the last company I worked for has a Lamborghini, and he'd turn up to the office in it from time to time, just breeze in all casual like. Seeing the fucking droneheaded lemmings I worked with rushing over to suck him off was most vexing. Especially since the pay was absolute shite. Still, it was nice to see where all our hard work was going.

 

I honestly hope he drives it into a fucking wall.

[Elite]

That fucking cunts me off. The owner of the last company I worked for has a Lamborghini, and he'd turn up to the office in it from time to time, just breeze in all casual like. Seeing the fucking droneheaded lemmings I worked with rushing over to suck him off was most vexing. Especially since the pay was absolute shite. Still, it was nice to see where all our hard work was going.

 

I honestly hope he drives it into a fucking wall.

You get that everyehere. It's fucking embarrassing.

[General Dryness]

You get that everyehere. It's fucking embarrassing.

I don't understand it. Why are people like that? Why don't they know?

[Elite]

I don't understand it. Why are people like that? Why don't they know?

 

Maybe they think they'll gain favour, infact they might gain that much favour the rich cunt will let them wash his Lamborghini.

[Paulie Dangerously]

UPDATE: He called ahead to make sure we has parking spaces adequate for his car.  Not to let people know he'd be bringing it, of course not. 

[Lee909]

As I was turning into work today what I can only describe as an F1 style super car turned in behind me.  Fella looked like the stig, full gear on, engine making my windows rattle, revving the fuck out of it as I was pulling my 2012 207 into my usual space he got into the Disabled bays of our work.  He made a big show of unclipping his helmet, jumping out of it like frankie de fucking tory and then looking around to see who had seen him and his car. 

 

 I didn't even look his way because as a rule I always try not to give attention seekers what they want.  He was stood by his car, helmet under his arm like Damon Hill (not in his pomp, now, as in approaching 60) and suddenly a few people from my work poured out of the front door and ran over to lick his rectum.  "wow!" "gee mister nice wheels!" "would you like to shag my wife?"

 

CRINGE

 

 

Would have loved that here

In the disabled bays, not today your not, cant find a space onto the road with you. 

 

Sometimes working in security does have it good days and dealing with arseholes pretty much tops the list

[Elite]

UPDATE: He called ahead to make sure we has parking spaces adequate for his car. Not to let people know he'd be bringing it, of course not.

That actually reminds of the time my new neighbour (a few doors away) knocked on everyone's doors to let them know a jacuzzi was being delivered and he apologised for any inconvenience, it was being delivered via a private Car park at the rear so would cause literally NO inconvience to anyone.

[General Dryness]

Maybe they think they'll gain favour, infact they might gain that much favour the rich cunt will let them wash his Lamborghini.

Some of them would have loved that, the brainwashed cunts.

[Curly]

I worked in a place once where the owner had a Lambo and a few other nice cars. He was a cunt. He arranged to test drive a Bugatti Veron. Not at the weekend. Not from his home address. From Work. At 1pm on a weekday - just in time for everyome to be leaving for lunch, so all of us plebs he was kind enough to pay £18k a year to had the chance to climb inside his arse hole over it. Loads did too. Mental.

[Liverpool lad]

People who stand at the bar when it is fucking packed visibly showing their disapproval whenever somebody tries to get to the bar to get drinks

 

The idea they may the problem is lost on the daft bastards

[Captain Turdseye]

My best mate’s boss has a Lamborghini and a Ferrari. The boss pays his workforce between £8 and £12 p/h and he gathered all the lads together in the canteen before the General Election last year and to inform them that if Labour got in then due to changes in tax he’d have no choice but to cancel their £500 Christmas bonus.

 

My mate isn’t politically aware and doesn’t vote although he did tell me that most of the other lads in there are the same but half of them went and voted Tory anyway because of what he’d said.

 

Massive knobhead.

[Juniper]

The boss at a company I briefly worked at last year was like that.

 

Paid everyone peanuts (so much so most people in crucial roles who had worked for him for years all had cleaning jobs in the evening simply to get by)

 

He went and bought a brand new Tesla (80k worth if I remember) and was crowing about it to anyone that would listen.

 

Never forget his disappointed face when I turned him down for him taking me for a drive in it.

 

Think everyone else there went out with him in it though, despite their constant moaning and complaining about how little he paid them behind his back.

[Trumo]

Google Images have removed the 'View Image' feature, making it a ballache to simply copy an image URL. And all because image hosting sites have been getting at them over image copyright.

[Harry Squatter]

People like that would fawn over the royal family too.

 

Like that woman who bowed to Prince Harry's new bird. An obscure American actress

[Dr Nowt]

Another vote for “Oh, have you got man flu have you?” bores.

 

It’s the polar opposite of me making something trivial out to be serious, but you carry on rolling out the cliches, you battle-hardened war veteran you.

[RedKnight]

In a swift turn of irony, I actually have the flu for the first time ever and I've had to call in sick to work for the first time in 16 years. Not man flu, regular flu and it's had me on toast.

[pauliescouse]

People who speed walk round the office like they've just followed through and need to get to the bog but actually pretending to be some overly important cunt who is 1 minute late to a meeting room that is 30 seconds away.

 

We have a group of them, one literally runs - runs - round the office, the gormless cunt, with his fucking laptop all the time. I sit looking onto a corner so see these pricks every day, one nearly took clean out one of the new girls the other day. But it happens all the time, banging into people because the daft cunts are going too fast. Matter of time before the first headbang.

 

Also brown-nosing cunts. We have this one cunt who keeps looking over at his line manager, almost for approval, every time he walks into the office. Snide fucker as well. Looks like Joe fucking 90.

 

[manwiththestick]

We have a guy in our work who is a proper high level arse licker. Whenever the big bosses are around he's strutting round the office of his phone making out he's running the show. Whenever anyone new starts especially women he occupies a hot desk near them and talks needlessly loud making out he's the fabric holding the company together.

 

Sad arsehole.

[sir roger]

Could never believe how cowed people are by nonentity managers. Spent over 30 years listening to big talk in pubs / on coffee breaks and then watching them shit themselves when it came to standing up for themselves in person.

 

Did the area union job for a good while and had to give it up as it was getting ridiculous - The likes of

 

' The manager isn't following the rules on holidays & I can't get time off with my family '

' No problem , what's his/her name & I'll have a word '

' Will you have to mention my name ? '

' I can hardly sort it out without can I ? '

' Oh leave it then '

[Paulie Dangerously]

Could never believe how cowed people are by nonentity managers. Spent over 30 years listening to big talk in pubs / on coffee breaks and then watching them shit themselves when it came to standing up for themselves in person.

 

Did the area union job for a good while and had to give it up as it was getting ridiculous - The likes of

 

' The manager isn't following the rules on holidays & I can't get time off with my family '

' No problem , what's his/her name & I'll have a word '

' Will you have to mention my name ? '

' I can hardly sort it out without can I ? '

' Oh leave it then '

 

I was chair of our union in my last job and this was a constantly problem adding to probably the most thankless unpaid role I'll ever do.  

 

Speaking of arselickers we used to have a fella and a woman who would be constantly following them in a line.  They were labeled "the human centipede"

[Paulie Dangerously]

People who speed walk round the office like they've just followed through and need to get to the bog but actually pretending to be some overly important cunt who is 1 minute late to a meeting room that is 30 seconds away.

 

We have a group of them, one literally runs - runs - round the office, the gormless cunt, with his fucking laptop all the time. I sit looking onto a corner so see these pricks every day, one nearly took clean out one of the new girls the other day. But it happens all the time, banging into people because the daft cunts are going too fast. Matter of time before the first headbang.

 

Also brown-nosing cunts. We have this one cunt who keeps looking over at his line manager, almost for approval, every time he walks into the office. Snide fucker as well. Looks like Joe fucking 90.

 

 

 

Haha we had one we used to call Ben Richards

[Paulie Dangerously]

People who ask an individual  "How are we?"

[Pidge]

When journalists sneer back at critics of their employer by pointing out that, actually, the website/sunday edition is a different company entirely.

 

The shared branding is there to create association between the platforms you silly twats. It's totally reasonable for the public to therefore associate them. The legal structure of your non-dom, tax evading fascist overlord's businesses is not number one on our list of concerns. The bullshit propaganda the whole structure pushes on the public is. Write for them, take their money, expect to be associated as part of it.

[Bob]

I really don’t like puns. They irritate me. Far more than they should.