The Ailment thread

[VladimirIlyich]

The endoscopies are a bit better than the colonoscopies.

[Furmedge]

Went out last night and woke up at 5am for a piss. Thought I had a throat full of phlegm and tried to cough it up only it wouldn't budge but could feel it sat there. Managed to locate it when I coughed but it wouldn't budge at all trying to push it out. Turns out it was my uvula (the dangly bit at the back of your throat some think is yiur tonsils) which had inflamed to about three times it's usual size and was resting on my tongue and I was trying to cough it out. I obviously then decided I was going to suffocate myself if I didn't get it checked out so wandered to the walk in when it opened. Triage took a look at it and the nurse said she's seen bigger dangly things before and I replied it's not the first time I've heard that, it was all very Carry On and we left it there with treatment of ice cubes, ibuprofen and cold drinks and to go back if it doesn't clear up within a couple of days.

 

It's not and I'm resigned to losing my life tonight as I sleep.

[Lee909]

Stop being a pussy and just pull it out

 

[Anny Road]

I has making my dinner tonight and knocked some cutlery off the work top as I was working away. By habit I stuck out my foot to stop whatever had dropped from hitting the floor. Turns out it was my sharp and pointy wide chopping knife.

I looked down and it had gone through the top of my suede slipper and was sticking straight up embedded. I felt a bit of a pain and thought oh shit.

Carefully went to pull it out and it had gone in between my second little toe and the next biggest through the sole and stuck in the floor.

No blood and just a little nick out of my toe. Grrrrr.

Lucky bastard.

[Furmedge]

Stop being a pussy and just pull it out

 

I would have been up for that this morning. I think I was still pissed but I was panicking when I saw it. It's a useless part of the anatomy so I would be more than happy to get rid of it.

[Lee909]

Fucking bastard gland

The glands on the left side of my fsve and neck swollen to fuck. Working working 11 out the next 12 days too

 

Fuck this shit

[Furmedge]

Tendonitis in my arm/hand.  Went the walk in last night, referred to A&E who x-ray'd my arm and fingers and eventually said they're referring me to Whiston's plastic surgery dept due to having the inability to straighten my fingers.  Apparently they deal with all tendon issues around these parts, but may ask for a smaller nose and a bigger cock while I'm there.  

 

Fingers straightened out with force which almost made me cry in pain.  Strapped together, light cast on arm to protect the palm which is where it seems to originate and a sling to keep arm elevated.  Was working from home today anyway, so called this morning and my boss is happy for me to work from home for the week as I can't drive or wipe my arse without being in pain.  He's going to speak to the powers that be who may ask me to take it as sick which is fine by me as I get full sick pay and I've a fair bit of telly to catch up on.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Got to call into the hospital tomorrow for a scan on my suspected umbilical hernia. I hope it is what I think it is or I dread to think.

[KMD7]

Got to call into the hospital tomorrow for a scan on my suspected umbilical hernia. I hope it is what I think it is or I dread to think.

 

Hope it goes well for you mate if is a hernia.  I had mine fixed last August.  Took about 3 weeks for it to heal. 

[Guest Bunk]

I'm 45 with no previous health problems, yet, I had a stroke last month; to be precise it was a left occipital infarct. My eyesight was affected quite badly, luckily I didn't suffer any power loss to my limbs or to my cognitive skills.

 

Thankfully, I'm recovering well, but the thing that struck me most was that I could suffer a life threatening attack without any warning. It's scary what you take for granted.

[Elite]

I'm 45 with no previous health problems, yet, I had a stroke last month; to be precise it was a left occipital infarct. My eyesight was affected quite badly, luckily I didn't suffer any power loss to my limbs or to my cognitive skills.

 

Thankfully, I'm recovering well, but the thing that struck me most was that I could suffer a life threatening attack without any warning. It's scary what you take for granted.

Hope you continue to recover mate.

[Guest Bunk]

Hope you continue to recover mate.

Thanks mate

[lifetime fan]

The guttering on the flat upstairs has had an annoying drip for months now and as it is council owned we’re still waiting for them to fix it.

 

Over the weekend the waste pipe from upstairs started to overflow into our garden, the stench was incredible and it was making a fucking mess of the decking.

 

Got the ladder out this afternoon to check the overflow

on the waste pipe to make sure it wasn’t blocked.

 

It was full of leaves, shit and a dead bird. Cleaned it all out and then all of a sudden the waste pipe started pissing out everywhere like Niagra Falls, soaks the decking to the point the ladder slides out from underneath me.

 

I’ve then fallen about 20/25 foot. I’ve not broken anything I don’t think but I’m in fucking agony and ache like a bastard!

[littletedwest]

I'm 45 with no previous health problems, yet, I had a stroke last month; to be precise it was a left occipital infarct. My eyesight was affected quite badly, luckily I didn't suffer any power loss to my limbs or to my cognitive skills.

 

Thankfully, I'm recovering well, but the thing that struck me most was that I could suffer a life threatening attack without any warning. It's scary what you take for granted.

Mate of mines Mrs had 2 strokes at 29, doctors couldn't understand why. Non smoker, not overweight and fit. Over 15 year ago now and she's totally normal and never had one since.

[Redder Lurtz]

I've had an itchy hoop for 3 days. No amount of showering or itching is sorting it.

 

Your diagnosis please, GF.

[Lee909]

Friction burns?

Early stage shit house aids

[Bjornebye]

Fell off a fence the day after the final and twatted my heel. Didn’t think I had fractured it, just bruising. Spent a week limping like a cunt and still got a slight limp now. The fucker has started itching today and I’ve googled it. Apparently the itching is the bone knotting back together…. I’m either a trooper for cracking on with a broken foot regardless or an idiot for potentially causing longer term damage.

 

Col them bruises after your fall off the ladder looked bad.

[Lee909]

Midnight hypos

 

Go fuck yourself bastard Type 1 diabetes amd my fucking useless pancreas

[Anubis]

Midnight hypos

 

Go fuck yourself bastard Type 1 diabetes amd my fucking useless pancreas

Serves you right for being a Nazi...

[Nunavut Patrick]

Fell off a fence the day after the final and twatted my heel. Didn’t think I had fractured it, just bruising. Spent a week limping like a cunt and still got a slight limp now. The fucker has started itching today and I’ve googled it. Apparently the itching is the bone knotting back together…. I’m either a trooper for cracking on with a broken foot regardless or an idiot for potentially causing longer term damage.

 

Col them bruises after your fall off the ladder looked bad.

If you are going to perv on the neighbors at least use a safety harness

[Carvalho Diablo]

Suffering with an umbilical hernia atm. Was only a minor one, giving me no pain, but I severely aggravated it last weekend by doing loads of manly things. Now that it's impacting on my life I'm off to see my doctor on Monday to beg him for surgery.

 

Speaking with my mates though, I can't believe how many of us have suffered over the last few years with these accursed things.

 

Hope I can get it sorted soon, really fancy 6 weeks off work before the end of the summer.

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

Midnight hypos

 

Go fuck yourself bastard Type 1 diabetes amd my fucking useless pancreas

I was listening to a good podcast in last few weeks, about a bird with diabetes, her and husband hacked the insulin monitor and software to ensure automated overnight delivery.

I’ll try and dig it out.

[Dr Nowt]

Midnight hypos

 

Go fuck yourself bastard Type 1 diabetes amd my fucking useless pancreas

Find it weird how they wake you up, seems counterintuitive.

 

First time it happened to me, not long after I was diagnosed, I was on holiday.

 

Just suddenly opened my eyes hugely disorientated in the early hours and kind of worked out what it must be after lying there for a bit wondering what the fuck was up.

 

Unsettling.

[Lee909]

Yeah ive never figured out how you wake up.

Very unsettling and leaves me feeling fucked for hours

[Captain Turdseye]

Just been put on antispastic medication. Hopefully this will improve the quality of my posts.