Arsenal

[Trucker Paddy]

 

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.... get her......

 

Can't be having this shit every window, will he won't he, as we've been having with Torres and Mascherano amongst others, I actually want us to sell him after that Guardian interview. Top keeper with years ahead of him unlike Torres who peaked 2 year ago so not gona say different but after that interview after he was threatening Maddock 10 weeks earlier with legal action for saying he wanted to leave was enough for me, he can go to Arsenal or United I couldn't care less, he'll be replaced.

[JohnnyH]

I know where you're coming from mate, but I always take press articles with a pinch of salt. I've no doubt that he is very seriously thinking of leaving. But I also hope that he is making the point to the owners that they need to show they will spend now on the team. We are all happy that long term we have the chance to be self sufficient and use profits to build the team, but we need immediate investment also.

 

If that happens, then he may be happy to stay. If he goes, then so be it. But if he went to the Mancs I would not be happy at all. He would strengthen them, and that would not be good.

[Royal Family]

I know where you're coming from mate, but I always take press articles with a pinch of salt. I've no doubt that he is very seriously thinking of leaving. But I also hope that he is making the point to the owners that they need to show they will spend now on the team. We are all happy that long term we have the chance to be self sufficient and use profits to build the team, but we need immediate investment also.

 

If that happens, then he may be happy to stay. If he goes, then so be it. But if he went to the Mancs I would not be happy at all. He would strengthen them, and that would not be good.

 

Not sure about that, Johnny. Van der Saar has been superb for them for the past few years and he has an assurance and sense of calmness that Pepe doesn't have. I think one could say that he wouldn't particularly weaken them, but I don't think he'd make them a better team than they are now.

[JohnnyH]

Van der Saar is good, but Pepe is better. A good bit better in fact. He's made a number of errors this and last season. Reina has had a poor season by his standards, but is still the best keeper in the league

[Kevin D]

Can't be having this shit every window, will he won't he, as we've been having with Torres and Mascherano amongst others, I actually want us to sell him after that Guardian interview. Top keeper with years ahead of him unlike Torres who peaked 2 year ago so not gona say different but after that interview after he was threatening Maddock 10 weeks earlier with legal action for saying he wanted to leave was enough for me, he can go to Arsenal or United I couldn't care less, he'll be replaced.

 

I think our marked decline since Alonso left highlights that it, generally, isn't a good idea to sell our best players.

[Royal Family]

Van der Saar is good, but Pepe is better. A good bit better in fact. He's made a number of errors this and last season. Reina has had a poor season by his standards, but is still the best keeper in the league

 

I think we'll disagree on that - Pepe's better as a sweeper and got better distribution, but he still behaves like a headless chicken at times, whilst van der saar doesn't as regularly. What's also interesting about Pepe is that in each of the last three seasons he's been in the bottom half of premiership goalies for proportion of saves per goal conceded, and indeed this year he's in the bottom three. Of course, there are explanations for this - ie maybe our defence gives away too many clearcut chances - but I do think that this reveals a pattern that as a shotstopper he's not actually top drawer. Certainly this year I think he's - on the whole - been pretty average to be honest (with notable exceptions like the Birmingham away game)

[Royal Family]

I think our marked decline since Alonso left highlights that it, generally, isn't a good idea to sell our best players.

 

Especially for reasons of personality.

[JohnnyH]

I think we'll disagree on that - Pepe's better as a sweeper and got better distribution, but he still behaves like a headless chicken at times, whilst van der saar doesn't as regularly. What's also interesting about Pepe is that in each of the last three seasons he's been in the bottom half of premiership goalies for proportion of saves per goal conceded, and indeed this year he's in the bottom three. Of course, there are explanations for this - ie maybe our defence gives away too many clearcut chances - but I do think that this reveals a pattern that as a shotstopper he's not actually top drawer. Certainly this year I think he's - on the whole - been pretty average to be honest (with notable exceptions like the Birmingham away game)

 

As this is the FF I regret to inform you that I now have to challenge you to a fight.

[Trucker Paddy]

 

I think our marked decline since Alonso left highlights that it, generally, isn't a good idea to sell our best players.

 

Alonso wasn't going around saying he was willing to join united in an interview to be printed the day before we play them.

And while I never wanted alonso to leave, him leaving wasn't the problem, the problem was the manager buying a crock for a replacement who he'd never seen play, Wesley Snijder cost Inter less than we paid for Aqualani in the same summer, Preseason Snjider was playing for Real against Shamrock Rovers and was in limbo, no player is irreplaceable the key is getting the right player to replace them

Inter Milan sold there best player 2 year ago but by replacing him with 2 excellent strikers and they won a treble.

Reina can go, tbh I think he's a top class keeper, but I don't want any player ego doesn't want to be at the club in the dressing room

[Coro]

Reina threatened a muck raker like Maddock with legal action?

 

Good on him.

[Kevin D]

Alonso wasn't going around saying he was willing to join united in an interview to be printed the day before we play them.

And while I never wanted alonso to leave, him leaving wasn't the problem, the problem was the manager buying a crock for a replacement who he'd never seen play, Wesley Snijder cost Inter less than we paid for Aqualani, no player is irreplaceable the key is getting the right player to replace them

Inter Milan sold there best player 2 year ago but by replacing him with 2 excellent strikers and they won a treble.

Reina can go, tbh I think he's a top class keeper, but I don't want any player ego doesn't want to be at the club in the dressing room

 

Inter, like ourselves decades ago, did so from a position of strength and not five years without a trophy, having just finished a second season without qualifying for the CL.

 

The interview wasn't that bad, in my view. Even if it was, it would pale in comparison to the fact that when far more powerful Liverpool players - and large sections of the fans - were passive and quiet to the legitimate threat posed to the club; Pepe was in the papers every week drawing attention to it.

[Trumo]

A diary of Arsenal’s 2011/12 season.

 

July.

Arsenal play a tin-pot friendly tournament at the Emirates against teams which are a month behind in their preparations, and bum them all silly. Fabregas is the world’s best player in the world’s greatest youth team, which will win everything in sight in the coming season. The match between PSG and Hamburg is stopped for 3 minutes while Sagna gets treatment for a head injury sustained while tackling his own player down by the corner flag - on the training ground. Wenger is happy with his goalkeepers. Barcelona are rumoured to be preparing a £500m bid for Fabregas.

 

August.

The Gunners batter all the Premier League’s cannon fodder in the opening weeks. Fabregas is on top form; Nasri is running rings around the opposition; Walcott is tearing full-backs to shreds, and Van Persie is blasting them in from everywhere. The match against newly-promoted [insert club here] is stopped for 5 minutes while Sagna gets treatment for a head injury sustained by tackling his own player down by the corner flag. Song is OK to continue. Wenger is happy with his goalkeepers. Barcelona deny any interest in Fabregas.

 

September.

The Gunners rout some [insert eastern European debutant] team in the Champions League at the Emirates. Fabregas is now up there with the likes of Pele and Maradona in the pantheon of footballing greats. Walcott chips a fingernail and has to be stretchered off by St. John Ambulance staff while the paramedic administers oxygen - he will miss the next month. Van Persie breaks his metatarsal for the 200th time when it makes contact with the ball. The match against Liverpool is stopped for 5 minutes while Sagna gets treatment for a head injury sustained down by the corner flag when Bendtner’s pink boot comes flying after he attempts an ambitious overhead kick from halfway. Almunia just about manages to tip the ball over the bar. Wenger is happy with his goalkeepers. Barcelona decide they cannot afford Fabregas but Barca players tell a Spanish radio station how much they want him to join during the international break.

 

October.

Arsenal reserves wallop [insert League Two opposition] in the Carling Cup at the Emirates. The London media claim they are good enough to win the World Cup too. Bendtner scores 8 and proclaims himself the world’s best footballer. The media disagree and still champion Fabregas. Mario Balotelli has a hissy fit and tells everyone who will listen that no player comes close to his god-like stature. He’s now added bib management to his list of skills. The match against Wigan is stopped for 12 minutes while Sagna gets treatment for a head injury sustained pulling his own socks up down by the corner flag. Wenger is happy with his goalkeepers.

 

November.

89% possession at the Emirates against Manchester United. Final score Arsenal 0 Manchester United 3. Manuel Almunia gets 2 of the goals. This is followed by Arsenal creeping over the line to qualify for the next round of the Champions League as group runners-up. Barcelona are up next, and the Gunners will show everybody their new-found maturity and ability to win all competitions. Physical contests against Stoke and Blackburn result in Fabregas taking a month off to nurse his pinged hamstrings. The match against Blackburn is stopped for 22 minutes while Sagna gets treatment for a head injury sustained by tackling his own player down by the corner flag while the ball was in Blackburn’s penalty area. Wenger blames Allardyce, but he is happy with his goalkeepers. Almunia is dropped for Fabianski for the next 5 games.

 

December.

75% possession against Chelsea at Stamford Bridge. Bendtner misses 5 one-on-ones and 10 sitters. Chelsea nip up the other end, Drogba bullies the entire Arsenal back-line out of the way and Lampard steams in to scuff the ball in off a post via a fortuitous deflection off Fabianski, [insert French-speaking central defender] and Sagna. The match is stopped for 33 minutes while Sagna gets treatment for a head injury sustained by head butting his own goalpost after dashing in from down by the corner flag. Barcelona decide they don’t need Fabregas after all. Wenger is happy with his goalkeepers.

 

January.

A cold month becomes a frosty one as Wenger accuses the fourth official of touching kids in his day job, during the match against Birmingham City. The fourth official reports him to the FA, despite being a paediatrician by trade, and the FA hand out a 2 match ban for intimidating officials. Arsenal win 3 Premier League games in a row to move within 3 points of the league leaders. This includes a 3-0 home win against Tottenham Hotspur, after Redknapp’s earlier claims that Spurs are good enough to win the title. Arsenal also win the Carling Cup semi-final against [insert Championship club] and are within sight of their first trophy of the season. Sagna stays clear of injury this month. Wenger is less happy with his goalkeepers after Fabianski breaks his thumb putting his gloves on the wrong hands. Barcelona offer 50 youth players, a signed Thierry Henry shirt and 2 tickets to el Clasico at the Nou Camp in return for Fabregas.

 

February.

Arsenal go out of the FA Cup, beaten by Manchester United at Old Trafford despite having 99% possession. They are also beaten in the Carling Cup final by [insert name of any club that decides to put the ball in the back of the net instead of dicking about with 30-pass triangles around the edge of the area]. Still, there are 2 trophies to contest so all to play for. Vermaelen, Squillaci and [insert French-speaking young athletic centre back] are all out injured for the rest of the season. Fulham and Bolton secure a share of the points in the league. The match against Fulham is held up for 64 minutes as Sagna gets treatment for a head injury sustained down by the corner flag due to Hangeland’s icy stare. Rosicky makes a comeback from injury, gets tackled by a blade of grass and is out again for 6 months. Wenger decides he’s happy with his goalkeepers and selects Poland’s 8th choice goalkeeper to play between the sticks. Barcelona decide they are happy with their squad.

 

March.

The Gunners bow out of the Champions League. Barcelona are just too mature and Lionel Messi scores 10 at the Nou Camp against a scratch back four. The same back four that looked like world beaters back in August. The match is held up for 25 minutes as Sagna gets treatment for a head injury sustained by tackling himself down by the corner flag. Barcelona will assess their squad in the summer before deciding whether to push for Fabregas. Wenger decides not to talk about his goalkeepers.

 

April.

The league title has gone now, as Arsenal lose at Old Trafford without troubling the goalkeeper, and despite having 100% possession and completing 2500 passes according to Opta. A 10-point lead is too much to make up with a depleted squad lacking a reliable goalkeeper or durable centre backs. The match is held up for 11 minutes as Sagna gets treatment for a head injury sustained down by the corner flag. There are no players near him this time. He just went up to head a ball away and got smacked in the eye by a flailing peroxide coloured dreadlock. But the captain is back! Wenger is happy with his goalkeepers.

 

May.

Arsenal show their early season form in despatching all the bottom half teams at the Emirates. Fabregas looks a world-beater again, and Van Persie returns to spank a couple of penalties against already-relegated [insert team here]. The last match of the season, against mid-table Aston Villa at the Emirates, is held up for 47 minutes as Sagna gets treatment for a head injury sustained down by the corner flag. Ever the joker, teammate Eboue ties Sagna’s bootlaces together as he prepares to take a throw-in. Sagna trips up and knocks himself out on his own cock. Eboue comes on as substitute and decides he’d rather play in midfield, leaving Poland’s 44th choice goalkeeper to play sweeper as Almunia is back to don the goalkeepers’ gloves. The Emirates rings to a hearty chorus of “Who are ya?” as Villa’s reserve team are despatched 5-1 – Almunia scoring for Villa.

 

Arsene Wenger proclaims himself as proud of his young squad, particularly his goalkeepers, and suggests that with a little more maturity, silverware will soon arrive at the Emirates. He starts planning for 2012/13 by signing 15 10-year-old Polish goalkeepers, 30 young French and French/African defenders, plus 18 wonderkid Spanish midfielders. With this added depth to the squad, the quadruple will be theirs. The board extend their gratitude to Wenger for Arsenal’s successful season after they reach the next season’s Champions League without spending any money on transfers. At the same time the club announce a record £2.5bn turnover for the year as corporate boxes at the Emirates sell out for £4m per game.

[RobbieOR]

That made me laugh.

[Trucker Paddy]

Very good!!

[jamespp]

the leagues still in their own hands, todays games didnt make that much difference

[Trucker Paddy]

the leagues still in their own hands, todays games didnt make that much difference

 

If they'd a 4 point lead with a game to go they'd fuck it up some how

[ReDeus]

I find it hard to mock Arsenal when they are light years ahead of us, even with their obvious flaws which Wenger doesn't bother correcting.

[Tommy Lawrence]

Caving in ............ again.

[Ranxerox]

They do have a great team but clearly are missing a couple of key elements...if I were a gunner fan I would be pretty pissed about them not spending any money when there's gobs of it sitting around.

[DJLJ]

Stopped taking it serious after that. :whistle:

 

You should have stopped after Facebook.

[Croque Monsieur]

A diary of Arsenal’s 2011/12 season.

 

July.

Arsenal play a tin-pot friendly tournament at the Emirates against teams which are a month behind in their preparations, and bum them all silly. Fabregas is the world’s best player in the world’s greatest youth team, which will win everything in sight in the coming season. The match between PSG and Hamburg is stopped for 3 minutes while Sagna gets treatment for a head injury sustained while tackling his own player down by the corner flag - on the training ground. Wenger is happy with his goalkeepers. Barcelona are rumoured to be preparing a £500m bid for Fabregas..

 

Superb satire. I would rep, but I need to spread it around first.

[Jim MM]

Superb satire. I would rep, but I need to spread it around first.

 

Same here. I'll be back.

[Trumo]

Addendum for February.

Wenger marches onto the pitch after the final whistle to remonstrate with referee Howard Webb after the FA Cup defeat at Old Trafford. He is most displeased about how Webb let United score despite all the pretty possession football played by Arsenal. His jacket/slanket is now so long that he is followed onto the pitch by all the bridesmaids and page boys that held Kate Middleton's train during the Royal wedding the previous year.

[RJ Fan club]

Couple of my best mates down here are regular match goers at Arsenal. I was having a chat with them after the Sunderland game on the Reina and spending money issue.

 

Both of them have no confidence that Wenger/The Board would cough up even if he (Reina) or another player they needed became available. I think both of them just feel that the club is in a bit of a comfort zone, financially and playing staff/coaching wise and no-one at the club wants to upset anything as things are ticking over. I know this annoys the shit out of them; as it does appear there is cash to spend.

[Red Nick]

Quite simply this Arsenal team is worst bunch of Bottlers I have every seen in my lifetime

 

Utd could lose another 3 games and Arsenal still wouldnt win the Title