The world of a woman.

[Elite]

Dors anyone elses missus do the dishes first whilst leaving the food going cold on the side?

[lifetime fan]

She fucking hates you. It's the only explanation.

The feeling was fucking mutual yesterday.

 

My reply of "lets not pretend you're going to listen to a fucking word I say so piss off and do whatever you want" made me the one in the wrong.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Dors anyone elses missus do the dishes first whilst leaving the food going cold on the side?

 

I set them in a sink of piping hot water so I can do them immediately after. Before seems like madness.

[Trumo]

The feeling was fucking mutual yesterday.

 

My reply of "lets not pretend you're going to listen to a fucking word I say so piss off and do whatever you want" made me the one in the wrong.

 

You were in the wrong from the beginning Col. Even though you were actually right, you were in the wrong.

[Captain Turdseye]

Dors anyone elses missus do the dishes

Chance would be a fine thing.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

We have a dishwasher, called Anna. 

[Trumo]

We have a dishwasher, called Anna. 

 

Does Anna smell of spunk?

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Does Anna smell of spunk?

 

She's a courageous woman. 

 

Sorry for delay in replying, I was supervising Mrs Spunky whilst she was doing the dishes. 

[Trumo]

She's a courageous woman. 

 

Sorry for delay in replying, I was supervising Mrs Spunky whilst she was doing the dishes. 

 

So she does now.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

So she does now.

 

Tempted, but our youngest lad helping to dry the dishes was a bit of a put off. 

[Jairzinho]

Women, proving you don't have to be wrong to be wrong but you are wrong.

[Furmedge]

We were going out for a meal with family for 5.30pm tonight. I got home from work at 4.45pm and was still ready before her. She's been off all day.

[tokyojoe]

We're always wrong. We all know that chaps.

[littletedwest]

Being sulked at now. No idea why I'm just ignoring her, experience tells me getting into conversation is the worst option

[Furmedge]

Gets woken up at 4.30am by her.

 

Her - Babe, you're snoring.

Me - Right, sorry

Her - it's been for like an hour

Me - It'll be this flu

Her - I'm up in an hour and I've been awake because of it.

Me - *gets up and jumps in a spare bed*

Her - Why did you get up?

Me - because you can't sleep so I thought I'd jump in the spare bed so you can get an hour.

Her - I wasn't kicking you out

Me - I know.

Her - so why did you get up?

Me - you won't hear me snoring in here

Her - Well I'm getting up now anyway

Me - okay

Her - I'm so tired

Me - go back to fucking bed then

Her - Why are you shouting?

 

Give me fucking strength.

[lifetime fan]

Furmedge: If you were getting up anyway why the fuck did you wake me up?

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Gets woken up at 4.30am by her.

 

Her - Babe, you're snoring.

Me - Right, sorry

Her - it's been for like an hour

Me - It'll be this flu

Her - I'm up in an hour and I've been awake because of it.

Me - *gets up and jumps in a spare bed*

Her - Why did you get up?

Me - because you can't sleep so I thought I'd jump in the spare bed so you can get an hour.

Her - I wasn't kicking you out

Me - I know.

Her - so why did you get up?

Me - you won't hear me snoring in here

Her - Well I'm getting up now anyway

Me - okay

Her - I'm so tired

Me - go back to fucking bed then

Her - Why are you shouting?

 

Give me fucking strength.

 

Hahahahahaha

[Mook]

They love to make a fuss about snoring, I only seem to do it when I'm pished but never hear the fucking end of it the next day.

 

She snores all the time but I never bring it up because people can't really help what they do in their sleep, can they? What's the point in having a pop at someone about it.

[Captain Turdseye]

They love to make a fuss about snoring, I only seem to do it when I'm pished but never hear the fucking end of it the next day.

Mrs Turdseye is the total opposite. She's come to expect it when I'm drunk and snoring and just grabs a spare quilt and fucks off downstairs onto the couch.

 

In fairness, before she started doing that she said she'd tried everything to make me stop snoring, including covering both my mouth and nose with her hands. Attempted murder, basically.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

They love to make a fuss about snoring, I only seem to do it when I'm pished but never hear the fucking end of it the next day.

 

She snores all the time but I never bring it up because people can't really help what they do in their sleep, can they? What's the point in having a pop at someone about it.

 

Every ex bar one has given me a telling off about snoring. The one who didn't, to my eternal surprise, realised I snored on the first night, and went and bought ear plugs the next day. Never mentioned it. Never moaned. Nothing.

 

Thinking back I should have married her on the spot.

[Trumo]

I only seem to do it when I'm pished but never hear the fucking end of it the next day.

 

That is one long-ass snore.

[Remmie]

Mrs Turdseye is the total opposite. She's come to expect it when I'm drunk and snoring and just grabs a spare quilt and fucks off downstairs onto the couch.

 

In fairness, before she started doing that she said she'd tried everything to make me stop snoring, including covering both my mouth and nose with her hands. Attempted murder, basically.

My wife pinched my nose on our honeymoon, I went fucking beserk at her and she will never do it again. Absolutely unjustifiable

[Curly]

My wife pinched my nose on our honeymoon, I went fucking beserk at her and she will never do it again. Absolutely unjustifiable

 

Get the ground rules set early doors mate. I like it.

 

"If you pinch my nose ever again..."

[Jenson]

My ex text me this morning asking when the MOT for her car was due! I'm sure my reply of 'how the fuck am I meant to know' went down splendidly

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

My ex text me this morning asking when the MOT for her car was due! I'm sure my reply of 'how the fuck am I meant to know' went down splendidly

 

You missed a trick there