What constitutes the perfect cooked breakfast?

[TheHowieLama]

4 minutes ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

 

another plate to put the edible stuff on, and a China mug for your brew, and you’d be fully set.

Agree.

[Jairzinho]

2 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

 

 

Lifey's toast looks almost done there.

[Boss]

Haha is that baked beans on untoasted bread? What the fuck Shep!

[Tony Moanero]

On 03/10/2021 at 11:45, belarus said:

£5.95. Just fuck off, the lot of you.

 

 

No picture of Mrs Belarus today? I’m not surprised, given the state of that!

[Tony Moanero]

Double post.

[Tony Moanero]

Balls, triple post. Impatient sod, me.

[Tony Moanero]

3 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

A late breakfast:

 

Branston beans & sausages with 3 fried eggs, strong cheddar and saracha hot sauce.

 

The plate is for Tony.

 

Fucking hell, mismatched knife and fork? Come on, Shep, you’re better than this! I had to rep you, though. That knife reminds me of visiting my great aunt for Sunday dinner, the best part of forty years ago.

[lifetime fan]

9 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

Balls, triple post. Impatient sod, me.

Me thinks you’re a fan of Mrs Belarus. 

[Tony Moanero]

1 minute ago, lifetime fan said:

Me thinks you’re a fan of Mrs Belarus. 

Well, given her absence today, she obviously has better taste than Belarus. I’m thinking of sticking him on ignore.

[Carvalho Diablo]

21 minutes ago, Boss said:

Haha is that baked beans on untoasted bread? What the fuck Shep!

My toaster had been fine tuned for crumpets so I just dialled the timer back a few notches and it all sort of went tits up! Tasted great though.

[Carvalho Diablo]

15 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

Fucking hell, mismatched knife and fork? Come on, Shep, you’re better than this! I had to rep you, though. That knife reminds me of visiting my great aunt for Sunday dinner, the best part of forty years ago.

That's very intuitive of you mate. It's a 50 odd year old butter knife, one of a pair I have remaining from when my mam and dad were married 53 years ago.

 

I just grabbed it and the fork from the drainer cos they were handy and I was starving. No pissing about.

 

Manero -butter knife connisseur.

[JagSquared]

4 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

A late breakfast:

 

Branston beans & sausages with 3 fried eggs, strong cheddar and saracha hot sauce.

 

The plate is for Tony.

 

I mean the bread terrible in its own right but are you also trying to pass off the hot dogs you got in the tinned beans as actual sausages? 

[Bjornebye]

3 minutes ago, JagSquared said:

I mean the bread terrible in its own right but are you also trying to pass off the hot dogs you got in the tinned beans as actual sausages? 

A next doors run over cat as 3 fried eggs 

[YorkshireRed]

5 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

A late breakfast:

 

Branston beans & sausages with 3 fried eggs, strong cheddar and saracha hot sauce.

 

The plate is for Tony.

 

Looks like some nut job slasher has rightly attacked this breakfast and discovered that the eggs bleed.

 

The bleeding eggs are far from the worst thing on display here. 
 

An additional point off for eating at your desk. That kind of nonsense is for the olden days. 
 

-1/10.

[TheHowieLama]

37 minutes ago, JagSquared said:

the hot dogs you got in the tinned beans as actual sausages? 

Branston sausages.

[Carvalho Diablo]

50 minutes ago, JagSquared said:

I mean the bread terrible in its own right but are you also trying to pass off the hot dogs you got in the tinned beans as actual sausages? 

Haha, nope.

[Anubis]

On 02/10/2021 at 11:18, an tha said:

 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Thought the GF would appreciate this, not mine unfortunately.

[Bjornebye]

Negged. What a horrible day for this thread. That looks like something   would make on masterchef 

[Curly]

7 hours ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

A late breakfast:

 

Branston beans & sausages with 3 fried eggs, strong cheddar and saracha hot sauce.

 

The plate is for Tony.

 

Have you put beans and egg on buttered bread? Repped for the audacity

[TheHowieLama]

He has used the heel on the bottom left there as well.

 

#nowastekitchen

[Boss]

Recipe for Sheps Breakfast:

 

1. Crack three egg whites into a jug and throw all the yolks in the bin. 

2. Add a Cheesestrings Twister to the egg whites

3. Pour the mixture onto a plate with raised sides, and put it in the microwave for 4 minutes on 100% power

4. While that's cooking, butter four pieces of white bread and place them on the serving plate

5. Open a can of Branston baked beans with sausages in it and pour it on top of the white bread, cold

6. Now take your nuked cheesy egg abomination out of the microwave and put it on top

7. Cover it all in sriracha sauce

 

Bon appetite!

 

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, Boss said:

Recipe for Sheps Breakfast:

 

1. Crack three eggs straight into a bin

2. Search high and low for the car keys

3. Put some milk in a bowl and leave it in the street about 25 yards away from your drive

4. While waiting for the neighbours white cat to appear, butter four pieces of white bread and place them on the serving plate

5. Open a can of baked beans with sausages in it and pour it on top of the white bread, cold

6. Now get in the car and drive straight over the cat

7. Into reverse and go back over the fucking thing

8. Scrape it up with a shovel and place it over the cold miserable plate of doom

9. Cover it in Siracha

10. Share neighbours facebook post about their missing cat

11. Type "Kirsty Allsopp in a short skirt" into google images

 

Bon appetite!

 

.

[PestiRed]

19 minutes ago, TheHowieLama said:

He has used the heel on the bottom left there as well.

 

#nowastekitchen

Crust - only the bizarre and paradoxical constituency of posh people and Americans say heel

[tokyojoe]

34 minutes ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

Thought the GF would appreciate this, not mine unfortunately.

Negged as well.

 

 

 

Vomits.................